Lights Out, a short story

Awhile back (maybe a couple years) I started writing something just for fun. It was called, “Adventures of the Life I Wish I Led.” It was meant to be a novel in the voice of a memoir… about all the adventures I take in my head. Maybe I was just overwhelmed at the idea of capturing those mind adventures in words or maybe I was intimidated at the really good idea I thought it was and so got a bit discouraged in the outworking of it all. Well, I have a new idea.

It’s called: true stories. We’ll see how it goes. This idea started out as a Christmas present to my parents, well, my mom really. She loves (or at least I tell myself she does) to read my writing and so I thought I could write some real-life tales in the form of children’s short stories. I only got as far as three stories, with promises of more. Here is the first.

LIGHTS OUT

Winter had settled in to the tired country home, steeped on all corners with fluffy white. Five child-size flurries ran circles inside while their parents struggled to keep up with the winter games. The frigid cold snuck in under doorways and through weak windows to whisper on the necks of the great family in the season of Christmas.

The great family watched one day as the snow and ice piled high outside the windows. The child-size flurries had spent the day building igloos and angels and ramps for sleds, but were finally content to sit around the great family’s wooden table and sip fresh hot cocoa from the stirred pot on the stove. Long before dinner was a thought in Mother’s mind, darkness fell like a blanket on the country home in the valley.

Five pairs of rosy cheeks and tired eyes began to plead for promises of “dinner soon.” But, before Mom could respond, winter’s darkness burst through the front door and consumed the country home. With masterful grace, Mother swooped all the child-size flurries under her tender Mother wings while lighting candles to push the cold darkness back out to winter.

The great family – Mother and Father and all the child-size flurries – excitedly spread the living room with candles and cards and popcorn on top of a bedsheet. And the dark night filled with the sounds of laughter and love until the last flurry was packed into the pullout couch and tucked in tightly to ward of winter’s chill.
———-

I will never, ever, ever forget my mom’s red, bursting face as she read the line, “with masterful grace…” She could not keep the giggles behind a straight, storyteller’s face (of which she had to this point, done a very fine job). It probably took a good minute for her to recover and sputter something about, “masterful grace? more like, desperate panic!”

Oh, mom.

taking the first step

I’m a little late, but I’m starting anyway. I’m going to read through the Bible in one year. Should I be ashamed that the reason this thought sunk in (finally after years of pondering) was a twitter post by ESVdaily? Well, I’m not. I am thankful for twitter and for ESV Study Bible (which, by the way, is an AMAZING online resource!) and I am thankful that God’s Word has become so dangerously relevant (who knew that God would ever speak to me through Twitter?).

So, today was the first day I officially began. I boiled a large pot of water and brought a cup and a tea bag strong enough to last through several steaming water refills. The ESV Study Bible was a little overwhelming at first. But, now, I am understanding how absolutely amazing it was the day I decided to order a year of WORLD magazine and receive the study Bible as a bonus. A BIG bonus. I am doing the Bible Reading Plan, conveniently found at the back with the mountains of other useful information.

I read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Genesis 1, Luke 1:1-25, and 1 Chronicles 1. I spit through the genealogies of Chronicles and spilled a bit of tea on the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth in Luke, but other than that the readings are starting out splendidly, with Eric Schrotenboer playing some great piano hymns in the background. I feel the weight of the Old Testament and have a new hunger to understand it, thanks to Lauren Winner. I want to see the beauty of redemption through the eyes of God’s chosen people.

Tonight I will go see the Micah boys for Sunday night service and probably return to more tea before I read a bit (now onto Forgotten God by Francis Chan) before sleeping soundly in my slightly tidy messy room.

Look tomorrow for the first of many short stories of my childhood 🙂

sometimes walks are sacred


Today didn’t go as I had planned.

When I did venture out, the air was warm on my face and the 30-minute walk to El Centro was therapeutic. Saturdays usually are filled with this or that and always Manos, the feeding center (a ministry set up on the outskirts of the city where many people were pushed after Hurricane Mitch). After I reached El Centro, discouragement was a phone call saying the feeding center was canceled because of a training for the center’s teachers. I determined to finish my book (see below) and walk.

I know, I could afford to aim higher. But, today (and probably often) I think walks are sacred. Sometimes the brain energy it takes to process things falls into rhythm with my steps… left, right, left (step over large square hole in pavement), right, stutter around an oddly placed electric pole, left, right, left, nod and greet the mother/daughter walking towards me, right, left. Yes, I think walking is a sacred thing. Covering physical step after physical step and watching yourself make progress – setting off in a direction and arriving at a destination. I think the movement makes ideas rise to the surface and find clarity. The prayers I pray in these sacred walks don’t sound like prayers at all. They sound much more like a conversation.

I got back to my house and accomplished some cleaning, mending (well, preparation for), reading, listening to music, and I am not really sure what else. You know, I think this feeling might come from my mother, but there is something ridiculously difficult about seeing an empty Saturday. I am here, shouldn’t my Saturdays be full of ministry somewhere… or at least be full of something? I’m finding the answer is no.

here are a few things I’ll recommend from today (when I wasn’t walking)…
I am pages from finishing Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner and, well, the journey is one I will probably take again. I like thinking my roots travel far deeper than I have thought to dig. I like the challenge in the idea of liturgy and seasons and meaning hidden inside and between traditions and rituals. I read this book in four different places today and enjoyed it in each scene.

I just saw Meet the Browns (Tyler Perry movie). I watched it by myself, but that didn’t stop me from chuckling and getting a little weepy. Good stuff.

Maximizing your Mornings (secretlifeofkat) So, this is my new take on mornings… I happened upon the secret life of Kat’s blog awhile back and so recently stumbled upon her fabulous FREE ebook to help moms start their mornings off right. No, I don’t have children, but I do need to go to boot camp for my morning routine and I think this might be the way to do it. Then, maybe when I DO have kids, I’ll know how to handle myself.

My ears are having a play date with Jillian Edwards and, well, can you picture the best times spent in the backyard, the sandbox, the treehouse? Combine those times with a few road trips where your hands hang out the window to make wind rollercoasters…. that’s the best explanation I’ve got.

Every day since I have returned from the States, I have taken a very serious and precious bite out of the raspberry truffle chocolate bar my sister gave me for Christmas. This amazing chocolate is from Vermont and I am dangerously close to writing a little note to appreciate their excellence!

joy and suffering


I spoke tonight about joy and suffering at the HS outreach. This is the passage (thanks to my mom) we focused on and I believe it is so powerful in our understanding of what joy is, how we can find it, and how much God desires we have it.

Nehemiah 8:1-15
1 all the people assembled as one man in the square before the Water Gate. They told Ezra the scribe to bring out the Book of the Law of Moses, which the LORD had commanded for Israel.
2 So on the first day of the seventh month Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, which was made up of men and women and all who were able to understand. 3 He read it aloud from daybreak till noon as he faced the square before the Water Gate in the presence of the men, women and others who could understand. And all the people listened attentively to the Book of the Law.
4 Ezra the scribe stood on a high wooden platform built for the occasion. Beside him on his right stood Mattithiah, Shema, Anaiah, Uriah, Hilkiah and Maaseiah; and on his left were Pedaiah, Mishael, Malkijah, Hashum, Hashbaddanah, Zechariah and Meshullam.
5 Ezra opened the book. All the people could see him because he was standing above them; and as he opened it, the people all stood up. 6 Ezra praised the LORD, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, “Amen! Amen!” Then they bowed down and worshiped the LORD with their faces to the ground.
7 The Levites—Jeshua, Bani, Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodiah, Maaseiah, Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan and Pelaiah—instructed the people in the Law while the people were standing there. 8 They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear [a] and giving the meaning so that the people could understand what was being read.
9 Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, “This day is sacred to the LORD your God. Do not mourn or weep.” For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law.
10 Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”
11 The Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be still, for this is a sacred day. Do not grieve.”
12 Then all the people went away to eat and drink, to send portions of food and to celebrate with great joy, because they now understood the words that had been made known to them.

Read through this a couple times and see if your view of joy doesn’t change too. Happy weekend everyone!

Be Thou My Vision

Tonight’s post is not inspired of anything inside me. I just want to share a hymn that is increasingly powerful in my life. As I pray for my brother traveling home from Colorado and my long distance friend in Canada, for my family snowed inside in Iowa and my unpredictable students here, for mission trip details and planning the talk for tomorrow night… as I do and think about all this, these words bring me back to center:

BE THOU MY VISION

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

http://www.youtube.com/v/tid9zgcxCJg&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00

it’s so… cold?

Everyone in the region of my home state would guffaw me right off cyberspace if they heard me say this, but I’m saying it anyway, “I was cold today.”

The dampness kind of crept in and up under my light corduroy jacket and kept my hands damp and kind of tingled my bones a little.

I just had to say that one thing about the cold and now I’ll move on because I know of many others who are waking up super early to scrape ice off windshields and at night snuggle under electric blankets and trudge around in feet of snow in negative 25 temperatures. I’m sending my warmth to you, friends!

I kicked back with some more jasmine green tea tonight, but the craziness is starting to settle in. I found out this morning that I am going to speak this Friday on joy and suffering at our outreach event for 10-12 grades. What a topic! Ay!

Please comment with ideas and suggestions and love!

here I am, Returning


I’m back.

My room is a mess. My overflowing suitcases lazily rest on the floor where I dumped them after a 16 hour journey, a bed of rumpled blankets boast the 12 hour nap that directly followed my arrival, each thoughtful gift I received over Christmas lays half-pondered on the ground where I have very good intentions about fully pondering it, a strange collection of mail that should’ve been shoved in one of those convenient blue boxes is still clinging to the insides of my suitcase,

and I am sitting here, drinking jasmine green tea and typing.

returning.

I was in Iowa for almost 1 1/2 weeks. The snow wooed my warmed, Honduran heart and the faces of favorite people filled my vision. There were not enough hugs and jokes and convos and laughs… but there were so many! The laughter made me certain of God’s goodness (if I wasn’t before), because if we are made in His image then He must be the Ultimate at laughter and that makes me love Him all the more. Sewing with my grandma and crowding my mother’s kitchen, running around with cousins in the snow and cuddling up in a blanket with my sisters, wrapping a cold night with the wise words of my grandpa and chilling with my best friends who also happen to be my siblings…
I’m returning to community and family. I’m returning to the admission that we need people.

My best friend Meghan asked me to be her maid-of-honor. Our eyes filled up a little bit, but life is mostly the same between us – we share the kind of understood love that doesn’t necessarily send emails or letters or phone calls, but it prays and hopes and is still so fierce.
I’m returning to the joy of the heart friends I only see once-in-awhile. I’m returning to believing I can love them without a face-to-face coffee date.

I snuggled into two books before I jumped on a big Continental bird to fly back here. One I have nearly finished after two days: Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner. Winner’s writing style reminds me why I love getting lost in between black and white typed words. I heard her speak when I was in college, but my too-skeptic college self didn’t allow me to believe her story was good. Well, it is. The other book is Forgotten God by Francis Chan and it is proving just as delightful … my heart is necessarily challenged at each page-turn.
I’m returning to believing things are good and worthy of hours of thinking and digesting and several cups of jasmine green tea.

I bought a new journal at Target in Michigan. The store startled me with all the bright reds and discounted prices, but I managed to find a $3.24 eco-friendly journal with wide pages and a wire binding (very important, as I like to flip each page completely behind).
I’m returning to writing with a pen. I’m returning to saying my prayer with bold strokes. I’m returning to a personal account of fears and failures.

My sister Christina’s birthday is today. I only left the states a couple days ago, but memories always make me feel uncomfortable with my love. My sister isn’t really one for precious, picture moments with fluffy words and embraces. She is the queen of conversation and wild with wit… but sometimes I just have to know that she can feel my love without words or corny phrases. I know it, I do and I’m whispering happy birthdays today for her.
I’m returning to confidence in how people understand my love. I’m returning to believing that my sister doesn’t need to be persuaded – she just knows how much I love her even when my hands are empty.

My friend Chels is my new mentor (she doesn’t know that yet). I turned my head slightly after college to pursue what I thought important. It was easy, as we all went separate ways …but a few years later here she emerges as this gentle well, deep with wisdom. I am sad to not have watched the process or been more supportive as she grew brilliantly toward the light of Love.
I’m returning to knowing I have much to learn. I am returning to humbly searching the deep, deep wells of the wise ones around me.

here I am, returning.