Author: Caroline

When I'm not riding in the backseat of my Grandpa's restored vintage car "Mable," I'm doing other things like... rising to most adventure occasions my husband proposes / chasing our toddler around Brooklyn / enjoying neighbors, strangers, and friends / making countless trips to the laundromat / writing for various publications and for personal reflection / loving and serving our local church / cleaning the bathroom / hosting small and big crowds in our home / meeting up with a friend for coffee / thinking Vocation is my strange frenemy. Though I have worked and existed in many stations/places, I am convinced that each day has good work to be done and that I am equipped and prepared to do that good work. This blog explores the tension and the intersection of a constant vocational call - to good work, neighbor love, and living in the kingdom come. My favorite things are coffee and creating and laughing (preferably with company). I love to listen to sermons and read biographies and make tea before going to bed.

Stars and Stripes

Okay, for those of you waiting for the political unraveling I hinted at earlier this week will have to wait a little longer. Christina and I want to make sure to do some more research before we take any philosophical position. But, in perfect patriotism, I joined several thousands of Austinites to watch fireworks over the lower Colorado River.

I sat with my friends Lydia, Scott, and my friend Shyle from San Diego in front of a most entertaining older couple. We heard the expected exclamations throughout the show, “Oh my! Look at the blue!” and “Wow, it’s still sparkling!” and “Oh, look at that one!” and “Ooo that one is pretty!” There was a certain, short-lived comraderie established walking amongst the masses to and from the Lamar Street bridge. It’s an amazing thing, really – living in the city among so very many people. People of all kinds and shapes and backgrounds and worldviews. There is a reason why revolution often times starts in cities – in part the sheer number of people and in part the ease and necessity of gatherings. Hmmm… a thought for further reflection.

With Shyle in town, we’ve been doing a lot of walking (which I LOVE) and falling into conversation along the way. On one wandering, we started talking about how lovely it is for friends to meet for discussion. The more we talked, we found ourselves saying, “Oh, I forget the name of that author…” and “What’s that movie?” And we wondered if in a few years our memory would be so dependent on technology that we couldn’t actually hold intelligent conversations without it. Scary, isn’t it?

Makes me want to turn things off and get out more. Speaking of getting out – today Shyle, Lydia and I went to the Farmer’s Market and then spent the afternoon floating down the Guadalupe River.. the adventure ended with about 20 minutes of downpour, but such is what memories are made of, right? Then we came back to Austin to see the infamous bats flee the Congress bridge by the millions.

We about to continue our adventure, but I didn’t want to go too long without an update. I guess this has little really to do with patriotism or any singular theme, but it is an update nonetheless.

Oh! And before I fail to mention it, we had a pretty close encounter with a ‘star’ last night. I took a picture of my friend Scott with her – Mischa Barton – I guess she’s on the TV show “The OC.” I don’t really know her, but apparently other people do. She looked very normal close up. You know what they say…

Tomorrow I will hopefully get a lineup out for you!

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Chess and Life

Last weekend after a lazy afternoon at the art festival, I headed over to the west side to have dinner, and a friendly game of chess with my friends Katie and Byron at their lovely townhouse. I didn’t know that the chess part of the deal until after dinner (I have never played, and am notoriously bad at remembering rules for games like that,) but played along and tag-teamed it with Katie against Byron.

It was so fun, and interesting, playing with them! Katie was getting so worked up, and stressing out about every single move. I, of course, being 90% uncompetitive, just sat happily; making suggestions and watching them agonize over their next moves. It was funny seeing my friends in this way- usually I would think Byron is the more competitive one, but I saw that this was not the case at all. Byron would sit back and smile, waiting for her to move, and she would fake- curse under her breath (awww- flurg! Etc. :)) and get all worked up over the death of a pawn to an opposing piece. When she left the room, he made a comment to me about how that was her downfall in chess- she doesn’t see the big picture and she gets too worked up over all the insignificant losses in the game. Always playing in reaction to his moves, and not keeping the big picture in mind.

I didn’t really think much about it, until church the next day- when the sermon was about encountering problems in life. It was crazy because I was hearing that same thing- why are we getting so caught up on the little things, and assuming the worst? Our pastor talked about Genesis 42- when Joseph’s dad Jacob was lamenting because Joseph was asking for Jacob to send Benjamin to Egypt. From his vantage point, everything had gone wrong, and it was about to get worse. To give some background to the story, Joseph’s brothers had sold him into slavery many years back. They told Jacob he was dead, and of course it was heartbreaking for Jacob. When Joseph got to Egypt (where he was taken,) he had a rough life including accusations of rape and time in prison. After some years in jail, Joseph was able to rightly interpret some dreams of the Pharoah, and was given a place of high honor. The dreams foretold of a nationwide drought and famine, that it became Joseph’s job to prepare the country for. Fast-forward, and Joseph’s family back in Canaan desperately needed food and supplies, and some of Joseph’s brothers went to Egypt to get them. Joseph commanded that they go home and bring the brother they had left in order to get supplies, and that’s where the story picks up.

In Genesis 42: 36, it says “Their father said to them, “You’re taking everything I’ve got! Joseph’s gone, Simeon’s gone, and now you want to take Benjamin. If you have your way, I’ll be left with nothing.”

The thing is- Jacob was wrong. He wouldn’t be left with nothing. Joseph was alive and well, which Jacob would soon find out. Benjamin would go to Egypt, come back safely. And the family would be spared from the famine that plagued their country.

God had a bigger, better plan than Jacob could see. He was working in all of it, the whole situation, to bring glory to his name, and safety to his people.

When all the brothers were finally in Egypt with Joseph, he finally let them know the secret that he’d been keeping.
In verses 4-8 of chapter 43, it says… “Come closer to me,” Joseph said to his brothers. They came closer. “I am Joseph your brother whom you sold into Egypt. But don’t feel badly; don’t blame yourselves for selling me. God was behind it. God sent me here ahead of you to save lives. There has been a famine in the land now for two years; the famine will continue for five more years—neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me on ahead to pave the way and make sure there was a remnant in the land, to save your lives in an amazing act of deliverance. So you see, it wasn’t you who sent me here but God. He set me in place as a father to Pharaoh, put me in charge of his personal affairs, and made me ruler of all Egypt. “

And what happened to Jacob? Well, after much prodding from God, he and the rest of the family moved to Egypt as well. And the story ends pretty well…

Genesis 47:11-12 “Joseph settled his father and brothers in Egypt, made them proud owners of choice land—it was the region of Rameses (that is, Goshen)—just as Pharaoh had ordered. Joseph took good care of them—his father and brothers and all his father’s family, right down to the smallest baby. He made sure they had plenty of everything.”

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Feeling Depleted

I’m feeling a bit depleted tonight. I’m not altogether sure why. There’s this strange cycle (and don’t try to tell me it’s menstrual) where every once in awhile I find myself in the same rut. Different surroundings, different circumstances, but the same old rut. The rut is kind of a mental thing. But tonight is one of those ruts, I guess.

Today I was reviewing the staff manual for Pinares and some things caught me a bit off guard. I’m not really sure how I’m going to get everything boxed, labeled, and sent to Miami by July 25… or how I’m going to arrange all my finances here in the States… or how I’m going to get all the teaching materials I need… or how I’m going to even know the teaching materials I’ll need… or where I’m going to stay for the first two days I am in Tegus.

Lots of unknowns, I suppose. But, I don’t really think the unknowns fuel the depleted feeling I get when my strange cycle lands me in a rut. Like I said, the circumstances are always different.

The depleted feeling comes when I let other things steal my joy. There is pure delight in the Lord, but I alone decide whether to enjoy this precious gift or offer it to idol thieves.

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Office Dances

We’ve been doing a lot of strategizing, re-structuring, and transitioning in my office. Those are big fancy words for a lot of change. We hired three new people an the entire physical space has been turned upside-down in an effort to make our workplace more team-oriented. I don’t object in the slightest to these changes. Actually, I welcome them because it challenges the paths we’ve made in the carpet thus far. Now we have to take different routes to find people and personally I think change in routine is very healthy.

But, there is a down-side to all this changing. Well, first off, I was unfortunately out of this office when the changes happened. So, when I arrived yesterday I found everything stacked, boxed, and placed neatly about a different desk in a different office, which I now shared with one of our dear secretaries. I don’t really have any complaints – I love the secretary and I’m secretly hoping she’ll help me work on my dance moves because she used to be an instructor. But, as you can imagine, jumping into work after a two-week absence is hard enough without having to wonder where I put files.

But, that was all redeemed today when I realized that the new office has space enough in the middle for dancing. Yep, you heard right: dancing. I love to dance. I especially love to dance in the office. I used to make up a “dance of the day” to amuse the secretaries and they absolutely love it (I definitely suggest this!). My friend Katelin and I often email different dance instructions to one another… it’s really actually therapeutic. Katelin has typed me down off some pretty severe office ledges with her intense dance instruction. Well, today I needed some therapy and Katelin came through. She sent me some lengthy instructions with lots of emotion infused.

So, I did what anyone would do, I turned to my secretary and asked if she wanted to see a dance. She, of course, said yes and off I went. The last instruction was deep breathing with my eyes to the ceiling until my head was calm. I sure came away with a grin and I’m positive my secretary loved it, too.

It just goes to show that my brother and I are nearly always right about one thing, “Be the most awkward person in the room; it makes everyone else feel a little better.”

It made me feel better, too. I hardly noticed the changes. Between the dancing and the new Sigur Ros album, I was in another world.

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Baby Shower on Wheels

Have you ever found yourself sitting around a tidy circle with a group of ladies, eyes fixed on a mother-to-be, watching her shuffle boxes, gift bags, and tissue paper to resounding “oohs” and “ahs”? Maybe this is just a scene of which I’ve had the pleasure to take part.

Don’t get me wrong – baby showers have their place, along with wedding showers and bachelorette parties, but do you ever wish there was a little variety?

As I thought about how to best shower my dear friend with gifts for her beautiful baby, I decided variety would not only make the shower memorable, but it would also show Meghan how much we loved her.

Here’s how it went down:

I started to think about all the wonderful memories from our college days and I realized how many things remind me of Meghan. I made a short list of the places or times where I found myself smiling for Meg or for her little one. Then, with the help of some friends, we picked out gifts for each location. She opened a series of cards to explain the reason for each gift.

When she arrived at my friend’s house in Evanston on Friday night (in preparation for our girls’ weekend), she opened a gift that focused on her pampering (blouse and jewelry). The next morning at breakfast she opened a gift (photo album) that will help capture all the moments – even the morning messes. Then a gift that will help in getting her little girl ready for the day in ultra classy form (a polo dress). Then we took our shower to a coffee shop, where we focused on the more intellectual side of the new babe (sweet books). We then found ourselves at the beach for a picnic, where naturally Meg would need an adorable diaper bag with travel-ready changing station and a perfect picnic outfit.

Later on that day, we ended up at the Grand Lux Cafe in downtown Chicago. Here we gave Meg what we hope will be many more memories (personalized onesies). Later we took a picture crowded around our favorite expectant mom and the onesie with HOPE (our alma mater) across the chest.

I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun at someone else’s celebration. Meg is such a beautiful momma – and I hope we showed her just how special she is. She has changed so much since our days as roommates… and it tears me apart to think I won’t be there when our dear little girl is born. But, I know she’ll be in good hands. Meg is quickly turning into a wonderful mother – I can’t wait to be around to watch her love, encourage, and laugh with the new life inside her.

I barely made it past the tearful goodbye the next morning. I’m still weepy just thinking about her. No one ever really tells you about the bittersweet taste of college departure into the real world. Apart from jobs and careers and adventures, there are frightening farewells with those who walked through fire with you. I guess we might not have believed if we heard it. But, I can tell you I pray for Meg and her baby… for her family … and for her heart’s pursuit of the Lord. It makes me miss her dearly, but I know the Lord is the better protector, defender, and friend.

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Weekly Lineup

After a (seemingly) endless hiatus, these separated sisters are back in action. It was almost fitting that we didn’t write for the time we spent together, but I have to admit I missed it. I hope you enjoy what’s coming up this week! I know both Christina and I have crazy weeks ahead, so I hope you will struggle with us and see the blessings along the way.

Outside the “Norm”: From overdone baby celebration to traveling shower
My best friend is about to have a baby in September – a beautiful girl I can not wait to meet. So, I didn’t want to do the normal: sit in a circle and watch her open presents surrounded by oos and ahs. I wanted her to know how much we love and care for her and the new baby in a way that reflected who she is, so we gave the shower wheels – and with great success!

Family Treasures
Our family works kind of like the sun – always there, sometimes hidden, sometimes far away, dependable, and gives the most joyful of rays. Why do we love family so much? Read for yourself!

Election Season: Unspun
We’re no experts on politics, but we do get pretty serious about making every aspect of our lives match up with our hearts. Because of all the propaganda, it’s hard to know what a candidate actually stands for – you know, what’s behind all of the speeches and motivational slogans. Well, we may not know more than the next guy, but we’re working on it – so read about it!

Well, it may seem like a short list this week, but we’re going to save some room for whatever might come up in between – we hope you like surprises!

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Back in Austin

We’ll be getting the line-up out for this next week at some point tonight. But, I wanted to share a few thoughts about where I’ve been for two weeks.
…
With the deepest of sighs – of relief, sadness, and homecoming – I landed in beautiful Austin today.

I can not and will not try to explain by way of keyboard the emotions of these past two weeks. Oh, I could tell you about the rapture of my grandma’s garden – the plums, peaches, apples, strawberries, grapes, pears, lilies, clematis, and the new bug zapper. I could tell you about the camp that has stolen my heart. I could also tell you about reunion with family – full of water sports and open heart conversations and our own unique family church service.

I guess I could tell you about the crazy trip my sister and I took across the state, where she jumped on a greyhound back to Des Moines and I the amtrak, Chicago-bound. I could tell you about the blessed bond of friendship and how it’s reuniting brought such pain in the knowledge of departure. I could tell you about the mexican food, the beach-side picnic, and the traveling shower for my best friend, who will bring a gorgeous baby girl into the world sometime in September.

Oh, I could tell you all these things, but right now after touching ground in Austin, what I want to tell you is that it might take me awhile to be okay with leaving. I know I already left, but my heart is so wrapped up in the people I love so much, I can hardly bear to be away.

At the same time, Austin feels a bit more like home every time I come back. I don’t know what to make of it. I simply don’t know what to make of it.

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Since we’ve been gone…

My sister Christina is guest posting today…

So, I realize the blog has been silent this week. Well, it’s because we’ve been together! We spent 3 days in Clear Lake with family (awesome,) then 1 1/2 days in Muscatine with Bret and Katie (wonderful,) and now I’m back to work, and Caroline is enjoying Chicago for the week! Here are some pictures of the fun we had with our wonderful family this past week…

We danced on the boat…

We hung out with the cutest kids ever…

Our family did a skit that involved us all doing “the robot”…

Other families danced as well… 🙂

We hung out with people we love a lot…

Then headed to Muscatine with Bret and Katie! They’re amazing!

Such a great time. We love our family!

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Bethany Camp, Day Three and Four

I actually ended up going back to Bethany Camp for the campfire last night, so I couldn’t post yesterday. I’m just going to do a quick re-cap of both days, although it’s dreadfully difficult!
I wrote this first part yesterday.
Reporting live from Bethany Camp in country-town, Iowa.

Today was a GREAT day! I know I only get to see the campers a little bit, but they are sure a joy. Today we talked about testimony, because missionaries give an account both of the redemption story and of their own personal redemption. I shared a bit about my experience in Poland teaching English at a family camp. I talked about the overall redemption story and the awesome wonder that God also wants to be personal – that we each have a personal story as well. I shared a bit of my story then asked a counselor to share his. Then the campers split up into pairs to answer some questions about their stories – who is Jesus to them? close, distant, friend, stranger?

I was so encouraged by the conversations – again very thankful for the amazing staff. I got to hear some of the campers share their testimonies later on at the campfire and praise God for His hand in their lives!

Day Four
Today I felt both delight and burden. This week has been more than I hoped, but also entirely draining. I meant to do so many other things during my time in Iowa, but I time escaped me. This morning during missionary time I nearly lost it. I was sharing that missionaries are broken people – no more put together than you or me. I never once met a perfect person in Poland, nor anywhere else on the mission field. Never once. I shared Psalm 32 as a bold reminder of the freedom and refuge offered us as believers. The world will deal some hard blows – but He is our hiding place.

It’s hard to sum up this day – especially since I feel so emotionally invested. I guess I was most moved when I asked if any believers wanted to be commissioned – sent into their areas as missionaries. About half the campers came forward and the counselors laid hands and prayed for them – that they would go out with boldness and proclaim Christ. Not a hundred speeches could be as effective as those kids being faithful to the call. Amen and praise God.

Here are some pictures I gathered from the week. Enjoy!

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Facebook Envy

 

 

Please welcome Christina (my wonderful sister) who shares insights on here every once in a while. She’s got good things to say and is most always better at saying it than I am.

My current “profile” picture on facebook- with Roman at his 1st bday party!

I love facebook. Well, I don’t know that I love it, but I sure do use it a fair amount. I got hooked when I moved to NY, and that was my one way of finding out what was going on in many of my college friends’ lives. Who was engaged, who moved to Africa, etc. It was so fun to have a window into lives of friends that I had grown apart from. As 1 ½ years have passed since moving back to Iowa and therefore could call up and hang out with many of those people, the purpose has changed a bit. I tend to use facebook more for stalking purposes. You know, you meet someone, see if they’re in your network, check out their pictures? No? Only me? I doubt that… :)Oh well!

Anyway, recently I’ve been feeling not so great about this little relationship. Conversations I have over it are feeling less and less like conversations, and more like sentences shot out to feel a little better about not calling. And my biggest beef with facebook? My time on facebook seems only to make less content. This friend is recently engaged, this friend moved to a gorgeous island, this friend just purchased a house. Cue ugly green monster. I even found myself irritated the other day when I was looking at pictures of a wedding for a summer friend from 4 years ago- why wasn’t I invited? Not taking into account that I haven’t spoken to this friend for probably 2 years, and wouldn’t know her husband from the next guy on the street, and we definitely had not made any effort to keep in touch. Bad news, friends. I was indignant. So that’s that- my sin issues with facebook. Josh Harris, pastor at Sovereign Grace Ministries, and Author of some great books (including the popular “I kissed dating goodbye” from my high-school years,) wrote about facebook last summer, after he joined for one week. He found that facebook helped him waste time and took his focus off of Christ and put them more on himself… which led to him quitting after only 7 days.

So what do I think about this whole deal? Well, I need to hold loosely my image on facebook. I need to remember that how people see me is not of much importance. I need to value real relationships and real conversations above internet “shout-outs.” I need to value finding out more about my God waaaay more than finding out about friends of mine. I need to praise God for blessings in others lives, and not let discontentment creep in.

And if it does? Time to hit the off button, slather on some bug spray, grab some granola, and go head outside to go read some Bible. For, if you’re spending time thinking about God’s ability to “do more than we can ask or imagine,” it’s pretty hard to keep thinking about yourself.

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