another paradox…and another

I am blessed. I truly am. I know it’s something people say all the time, but I don’t think all the time is enough. PTL (as my mom would say) because for some reason I am blessed.
Today I called my grandpa to wish him a happy 83rd birthday. He talked about how time changed, my travels and studies, and family. He talked for awhile about his 83 years and his children, their spouses and children, and a great grandchild. His tone was reflective, but beautifully thankful for the grace our family has received.

I also talked to my other set of grandparents tonight, because they are coming to VISIT! I am wonderfully excited and am constantly making mental notes about what they’d most like to see. The weekend will be marvelous, for sure, just because we’ll be together!

So… another paradox that made my list (and I should note that I could never fully explain these because they are somewhat unclear to me and also would probably bore whoever does read this) was the interesting subject of food and American culture. I know this might have already been tackled in a documentary, but I’m not sure that the ideology has been discussed.

We are told, through advertisements and feel good promotions that we can be what we want, do what we want, and (of course) eat what we want. Celebrities are known for saying their favorite meal is a cheeseburger or a delicious dessert. Our food is showcased in front of us behind glass cases with signs that say “treat yourself” and “you’ve earned it.” The idea that after a long day or week we’ve earned the right to these delicacies is interesting to me. Actually, it doesn’t really have to be earned, we just need to believe that the treat should be coming to us. Anyway, on the other side is our obsession with appearances. By no means deny yourself the treats, but somehow get your body to look dangerously thin and toned. The drug is NOWHERE to be found, but the prescription is ALL over the place! So, we end up quite confused when we are searching to merely eat what we’ve earned, but then are confronted with these images.

I think this may sound a little drastic, but remember, I don’t claim to know. I just claim to think. and it helps to write it out.

I’ve got to finish up a presentation on behavioral genetics – linking science, biology, culture, and religion. Yep, it’s interesting!

also… Tomorrow Hope for the Nations (org. on Hope’s campus) is having a Missions Fair and Panel, so if you’re into praying, it’d be great if you’d ask the Lord to bless the day. As well as next week, when the justice group will be showing the documentary, Invisible Children (www.invisiblechildren.com). The story is about children in Uganda that are being abducted and forced to fight in a rebel army made up almost completely of their peers. Lift up prayers!

Grace and peace.

a paradox

So…interesting is an odd way to explain the past couple days, but I’ll do my best.
Last Saturday, I had a bad day. It wasn’t your run-of-the-mill my hair looks bad and I can’t find my homework kind of day. No, sadly I couldn’t pin it on something quite so simple.
I was not in a good mood and for the most part didn’t know why. There were some things that happened that frustrated me, but nothing big enough to warrant a whole day of bad moodiness. I was emotional, sad, and had more than one cry-session during the day. I didn’t want to be at my house, but didn’t really have a place to go, so I drove. Forgot to mention that I also don’t have any money…so I realized really fast that you basically can do nothing for free. Seriously! I was driving – money. Coffeeshop – money. I’m not the kind of person who can go into a business and just chill out without being a customer. So… I went to visit my friend who works at Gap. She had been having a rough day with our washing machine.
I called my sister around 5/6 and she did her best to scrounge up a solution. After a few failed attempts, she suggested I go to Barnes and Noble and just read for a while…in fact, she said buy yourself something and I’m going to send you $10 in the mail. ..”We don’t need circumstances to be happy, but sometimes God works through them.” GOD BLESS YOU SISTER!
So, I luckily brought along a book I’d been meaning to start for awhile, the first of the Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers. From that point, I was hooked! I finished it early afternoon yesterday, after staying up until 6:30 am to read it! (That’s even late for the college clock!)

After I finished yesterday, everything else seemed so boring! I jumped right into the book and all the emotions I was feeling seem to come out in one way or another in the characters. It made me remember the times I would sit and read with my grandparents last summer. Oh what glorious times we had. I can’t wait for some more spare time for reading!

But, it must wait as I have looming projects, papers, and presentations that come with the end of the year. I have been (as always) doing a lot of thinking. Sometimes my thinking is related to subjects and sometimes it’s hard to find where it originated. But, anyway, lately my thoughts are towards the paradoxes we see in society, culture, and religion. It came from my realization of constantly being told/taught one thing, expected another, and encouraged to do yet another, and they all seem to be in conflict. What would we do, then? If we choose one do we fail another? Let me try to give an example…I actually have a running list, but I don’t want to be too overwhelming:
Okay, let’s take the ever-controversial topic of feminism. The ideas of feminism, as they developed over three waves, are generally good. They encourage women to be free-thinkers and not dependent on a system. Instead of being held captive in titles of ‘homemaker’ or ‘wife,’ feminism allows women to choose their career or life path freely. However, in the same name of feminism, women are voluntarily subjecting themselves to objectification. They fight against the box, but then put themselves in it – how does that make sense?

There are other examples, and I actually even found some in the lives of the characters of Voice in the Wind.

I know this can also be a picture of our spiritual life. We can fight against sin as Christians (through God’s grace), yet with our freedom we choose to trap ourselves in the box from which we were trying to be free. Why is this? I don’t know.

I think the questions, wonderings, and confusion I have is all balled up in my brain like the yarn at the end of my grandmother’s crochet. It’s full of color and tightly bound together. Every time I try to take a piece out I get more confused.

sidenote: I went to an art show the other day and it was so peaceful. I really enjoyed the serenity and pieces using all types of media. It made me want to be an artist. I do pretend, but sometimes I think I really want to be an artist.

i send my love to my grandparents, who I didn’t even know read this! and my mom – she spurs great thought without even knowing it!
Oh, and I am going to post my pictures soon from DC/NY – I promise!

Grace and peace.

PICTURES!

These are some of the pictures from my time with Christina! aren’t we good looking!




These are pictures from DC. The first one is in a vintage clothing store in Georgetown and the second is a tunnel on our long road trip.

This picture is in front of the pizzeria paradiso in
Georgetown. …. and then Shyle standing next to some sort of airplane engine in the Air and Space Museum.

These are just a few of the pictures!

now for new york city and after

I’ll soon have pictures back from my glorious weekend… and I’m so EXCITED! I did have a pretty hard transition on Monday back to real life. I wasn’t quite ready for all the projects, reading assignments and presentations. But, back to the bliss of break memories:

So, I made it to New York and pulled into Penn Station – not the most desirable of sights in the city. My friend alli couldn’t pick me up just then, so, on the advice of my sister I went out to look around. I was lugging my 50 lb. bag around, so that was a little cumbersome, but it was great to be out and around all the people. I wandered through some stores, pretended interest in some sale items, and talked to my mom about my safe arrival:).

That night I went out to eat at Columbus Grill with Allison, after getting the tour of her apartment. I LOVED it. She is such an amazing and independent person! I chose the chicken satay with peanut sauce and we had wonderful conversation… She is a great guide around the city and the next day we had so much time to talk because she’s a full-time dog-walker. I assure anyone it is not as glamorous as some movies make it out to be. She hasn’t yet had one of her dogs get tangled with another whose walker is dashingly handsome and charming….but it was wonderful all the same.

While she was getting one of the dogs in an exclusive apt. building by Central Park, I hung out outside and started talking to a very nice man who was definitely from a different country, but I couldn’t place his accent – from Africa maybe? Anyway, his name was Sekou and he wanted to go dancing on Saturday night. he was totally legit..actually he started by asking me for directions but then it turned into what kind of music i listened to. anyway, i got his number…i know sounds sketch. but no harm as long as he doesn’t have mine.

anyway, i got to see ALlison’s school in SoHo and wander around on my own until MY SISTER CAME DOWN from Port Chester. We had quite an adventure of running, oh probably 100 blocks to get to the famed babycakes vegan bakery for two delicious cupcakes… which we ate in the hot dog joint next door, because babycakes was just closing when we got there.

so… then i picked up my mom on friday and we had a glorious weekend of giggles, wonderful food, lots of walking, great views, amazing conversation, and well what else can I say but everything that we did? …except I have to get to my next class.

so I will leave the rest for another time…again. I will hopefully post some pictures soon.

wow. too much to tell

It’s hard to know where to begin when so much has happened in the past few weeks. I guess I’ll just skip to my spring break last week because that is most recent and exciting. My sister and mom have already wrote about it and almost completely captured my feelings of amazing. Yep, if feelings of amazing made sense, then that’s what I would call my spring break. It was lovely, reflective, restful (not in a free-schedule sense, but in a happy full schedule sense), and full of fellowship with friends and family.

I first left with four of my housemates to Washington, D.C. My friend lives in a nearby suburb and we arrived saturday night to St. Pat’s Day welcome baskets and her amazing dad who had prepared appetizers and (under his wife’s careful instruction:) a meal full of green – split pea soup, irish soda bread, salad, pistachio salad, and mint ice cream. We were stuffed and oh-so-happy after the 10 hour drive…my friend’s driving skills are superb, by the way.

Then, I’m convinced it was no coincidence that her church was having a missions conference that weekend! We got to hear missionaries from the U.S., Africa, and Europe, and also got to take part in a women’s group listening to missionaries on Tuesday. I am so thankful! We, of course, also hit the monuments, memorials, and museums, and art galleries. I loved taking time to stop by each painting, sculpture, or flight exhibit and just stare. I guess it makes me feel cultured…isn’t it funny that when you see someone admiring an exhibit you assume they have some vested interest or knowledge of the subject. I wish I knew enough to have a conversation about each piece, but I guess my stare is more trying to figure out how it got chosen above something else, or how in the world someone thought to put so many switches in the front of an airplane. Anyway, I definitely thought of my grandpa when I was going through the aviation exhibits. Aside from the fact that I was once convinced he flew a fighter jet in WW II (which he didn’t, I guess i completely made that up from a dream or something), I know he likes planes and I was even caught up in the progress made.

Well, anyway, DC was great – I loved the time spent with friends and my friend’s family. On Tuesday I got on board a train (not worth the $84 I paid) to NYC Penn Station. My last memory of a train was to Colorado and I was very little. All I remembered was drinking orange juice and enjoying the trip. This train ride was quite different. It was an elevated train and it made so many stops in between DC and NYC. I sat by the nicest man. He was from the Philippines, but had been living in the US for 15 years and working as a structural engineer in Philly for 8. I was instantly interested, because I had friends who were missionaries in Manila and I had learned some Te Galo – the language spoken by some in the Philippines. We talked the whole hour and a half until he got off. Everything from favorite dishes – his dessert was flan, which I later had with my sister in Port Chester – to my wanting to be a missionary and his discouraging me from going to Saudi Arabia because it was dangerous. It was such pleasant conversation…

This is getting so long, and there is so much more to write!

I think I’ll save my adventures in NYC and last night’s NICKEL CREEK concert for a new blog tonight or tomorrow.

SPECIAL love to my sister, the best hostess in the world, Ali – an amazing friend and tour guide, my mom – the most positive in the midst of confusion gal around, and to my friends from a sweet 10 hr road trip.

an evening ice skating

Saturday night was so wonderful! The day was work, nap, and a little study. Then we celebrated our friend Tricia’s b-day with cake and ice skating in Grand Rapids. We piled in Mocha (my affectionate name for the Oldsmobile with over 250,000 miles) all dressed in cute winterwear, mittens and extra socks in hand. Rosa Parks ice skating is in downtown GR and so great at night! Of course, the Olympics had just finished and we were all thinking the same thing: figure skating. I donned the white skates and headed out onto the ice… the only thing that held me back from a perfect show was the subpar skates, the crowds of people at varying levels of talent, the rink being only as big as a roundabout, and maybe mostly my lack of talent. Oh, but it made for a splendid night! I did accomplish some spins, skating backwards, and lifting my leg. I thought that was deserving of a little recognition.

It was a fun night! We came back and had balloon wars, watched a movie, and I sang musical songs from the top of our table to anyone who would listen. After the initial, “Caroline, are you sure you shouldn’t be a performance major?” they kind of just started to get annoyed and i realized that i can’t hold all my singing desires in for one burst because it’s too much for people to handle.

yesterday I got to talk to my sister in ny. she’s is doing splendidly. She said next sunday she will sing My Redeemer at her church and I almost cried. I love her so! And the first time she sang that song at my church I accompanied her. I miss that! But, I will soon see her, my friend ali in NY and my mom is meeting us out there. CAN NOT WAIT.

here are some pictures of ice skating


still an iowa girl at heart

so… living in Michigan after a 18 year stunt in Iowa has caused me to straddle many cultural fences. I often defend my small town heritage in MI, but downplay them when I’m ‘back home.’ Well, anyway, I realized the other day how much my roots still show through. It was in something as simple as an oil change.

so… I had to get an oil change awhile back and I drew from my past experience in Holland when I accompanied my brother to the local Quick Lube. It was this fascinating place where you just pull into the garage, park, give some information on a clipboard, and wait a few minutes in your car while a mechanic changes the oil underneath the engine. Then, the garage door opens and you pull out – all in about 15 minutes. I had never seen this before! So, I traveled out of my way about 15 minutes to go to this specific oil place to get my oil changed. Seems logical, right?

Well, back home changing the oil meant dropping it off at one of the local car repair shops, of which we knew all the mechanics’ names, and picking it up the next day. This revolutionary oil in and out went against all I knew. The new experience was fun, but I realized my ignorance recently when I was explaining it to a friend, “Yeah, and then I just went in and they did it right there! I didn’t have to wait or anything.” To which she responded, “You mean you’ve been to a place where they don’t do that?” To which I replied, “Uhh, yeah.”

Yep- I’m from small town Iowa. 🙂 i still think things like knowing all the mechanics names is to one’s advantage – relationships are crucial, especially with janitors, secreataries, and mechanics. I guess this whole Michigan thing is a long adjustment – I probably still won’t get the hang of the overwhelming Dutch traditions and odd left-turns before I graduate, but one can only learn so much.

hmmm

Wow, I just realized my last post took an interesting turn to prayer. i actually was trying to write about the letter I sent. Oh well!

So, yesterday after a couple classes I went to a leadership summit and then to look at houses for next year. We walked through a house and I think we’re going to sign for it. It’s crazy, because we won’t be living in it until next spring, but we’ve got to make the decision now… I’m pretty sure one of the houses we looked at (currently rented to some frat boys) had some suspicious activity going on when we showed up, as evidenced in the smell and various trash littered around. But the lady assured us she was going to fix the floor, heat register, clean the basement, and she’d even throw in a couple rugs for the wood floors. Don’t worry parents – we got a copy of the lease and are going to carefully inspect it before we make any decisions.

Anyway – then we helped my friend Katy get ready for our college’s winter dance. My two other friends and I attacked her and she was done in 15 minutes – a record makeover I think. After that, Nicole, Styna, Tricia and I went to one of our favorite Thai places in town – Thai Palace. MMhmm. I love that it’s tucked away on the north side of River – definitely a local spot we learned about from Nicole’s dad. I had chicken with the famous peanut curry sauce.

Then, after watching a little history channel about how Caesar and the Romans built a bridge the size of four football fields over the Rhine River, some of us girls decided to have a middle school ‘sleepover.’ We went to Meijer (for all you non-Michiganians, Meijer is an upscale equivalent to Wal-mart) to look for matching sleepwear, but we ended up at Walmart where we found 2-piece pajamas for $3.00!! They were Christmas leftovers, but we ate it up! Then we went back home with the movie “Can’t Buy Me Love,” starring Patrick Dempsey. Patrick’s character is a sad member of the geek squad who wants desperately to be able to sit on the cool side of the cafeteria. Well, he ends up ‘buying’ his popularity, and you can imagine what happens next! It was such a great time – and we stayed up late, crossed our legs and sat in a circle talking… just like the old times. A memory for the books – for sure!

Today is homework city – well, maybe a nap first (I’m actually at work right now). My list of ‘things to do’ is growing by the minute, but my housemate’s birthday is tonight, so I’ve got to gear up for the next celebration!

concert

the concert on saturday was amazing… just loved it. i got to wear a sweet staff shirt and help manage the ‘will call’ line. last names with h-p got to talk to me. 🙂 but, the value of working an event is more than i expected. not only did i get in free ($10 value), I also got to load in and load out the band.

yep..the manager’s name was beef. i thought that was pretty cool. afterwards we tore down and the lead singer from mae was just chilling outside as we loaded up the trailer. bands are nice. it was a good show, too. the baldy on the keyboards was going crazy, really getting into the music, which made my being directly in front of the speakers by the stage more than bearable.
oh-smile-it was a good night. not to mention i got to hang out with some friends before – nicole, meghan, and danielle. and i got to meet some new friends too- nicole’s sister, christina (i know- how random), and her friends from cornerstone are the bomb.
i auditioned for a part in their remake of Mean Girls and I totally made it. i’m the girl that yells in the bathroom. anyway – friends make me happy.
here are a couple pictures from the night

actually, i was talking to my good friend pat on friday and it sounded like maybe possibly he might drive up to the concert on saturday. later i found out it was a no-go, but that turned out to be awesome, because will, dusty, and casey ended up surprising him at 430 in the a.m.
i love surprises. even when they are for other people. i talked to pat and he said they had a ball of a time saturday and that made me happy too. i am pretty bloomin’ thankful for those boys back home!

in other news: last night nicole and i almost got hit by a train.