Category: music

what is it that makes it beat?

This one line in a new song by one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Sandra McCracken is enough to break you or melt you or stitch you back together. This one line, I don’t know… it’s enough.

“to bend the will you first must change the heart”

So many times I look at the news – and not just in the United States – and I grimace. It’s almost better to not know the extent of the damage human beings can have on one another. Almost.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what people are capable of doing and how to harness our capabilities into something productive and beautiful. And the conversation will always dabble in bandaids until it engages with the heart.

The heart is alive behind bars and at parks and in mental illness and in gun stores and at family dinner and on Sunday morning.

The heart is alive, so what is it that makes it beat?

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Get the song, Dynamite, for free here.

Posted on by Caroline 0

peace is found in believing

“The key that unlocks the treasure chest of God’s peace is faith in the promises of God. So Paul prays, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing” (Romans 15:13). And when we do trust the promises of God and have joy and peace and love, then God is glorified.”
– from Day 7 in Good News of Great Joy, Advent Devotional.

Some days it feels like I need the treasure of God’s peace more than I need anything else. In those days, I turn life upside down in search of it.

But my feelings betray me because every day I need this treasure. And every day I either find God’s peace or settle for something else. Usually, when I don’t feel like I need the treasure of God’s peace I have settled for something far less valuable and my very settling will send me on a desperate search for the real thing as soon as the counterfeit runs out.

I love this reflection about peace – that peace is faith in the promises of God.

Both joy and peace come in believing – in the process of trusting we unlock the treasure of peace. An easier treasure map you could not find: trust in the promises of the One who made you, called you, loves you, and sanctifies you. Trust in the One who has no beginning and no end.

This is the map to the treasure of God’s peace: trust.

That’s it.

Thankfully, there’s no math. It’s not trust + effort or trust + deeds that we need to get to peace. But it’s also not an equation one can finish and present to God in exchange for peace.

I am a notorious short-lived truster: I trust for a moment and then fall out of believing moments after. But this in believing that Paul talks about in Romans 15 – this in believing is beautiful because our active trusting (in the present tense) means the peace is hidden there in the activity.

God has infinite joy and peace waiting to be discovered by those who trust Him for who He is from this moment to the next… and then for the moments after that.

Some days it feels like I need the treasure of God’s peace more than I need anything else. On those other days my feelings forget to make me feel what my soul always searches.

Every day I need God’s peace and every day it is found in believing.
He finds me as I am believing and gives me peace.

And in the giving of peace, He is glorified as the only One in whom we can believe for this peace – the only One whose promises are worth trusting.

[deep breath]

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 1

I don’t know, it’s pretty dark out there…

When you can’t find a match to light the flame, sing.
When the rain refuses to let your fledging flicker burn, sing.
When the darkness is thick and the sunrise far-off, sing.

Soon enough, your heart will sing in sync and Truth will push out lies. Soon enough, despair will be displaced and death will be defeated no matter how deep it has settled into your bones.

Truth always wins.

Always.

And when the darkness creeps back in to whisper your heart into doubting, “I don’t know, it’s pretty dark out there…”

Truth still always wins, even when doubt whispers otherwise.

Truth is a fire that doesn’t go out.

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2

Posted on by Caroline 2

oh, how I need You

Today, I need my Savior because there is nothing else to need. Sometimes that need looks like a monster and sometimes it looks like a paper airplane and sometimes it looks like a hideaway. But, it’s always there – my need.

Today I am reminded that all I need is Christ and all I can give is Christ.

Words fail and the world falls apart and I need.
I need, I need, I need.

And the world aches with need, too.

Posted on by Caroline 2

pensive doubting fearful heart

Have you ever met a dead man who knows you?

Well, John Newton and I haven’t exactly met. I guess I should be clear: we haven’t met at all. But he couldn’t have started out a hymn with a more appropriate assessment of my heart. Sometimes, I excuse my pensive, doubting, fearful heart condition by calling it humility or wisdom or an attempt at being “gentle as a dove.”

Maybe sometimes it is true that I am those things, but I know for certain I make more excuses than my heart deserves. As I am being transformed from one little degree of glory to the next, my heart sometimes stumbles over thought and doubt and fear. I get anxious and make human calculations, which nearly always add up to paralyzing human fear.

The combination of vulnerable words (pensive, doubting, fearful) is tricky because each serves a purpose in making us more like Christ. Our best thoughts and greatest questions and deepest fears are all satisfied in Him, but the result is the opposite of paralysis. The result is freedom.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

(2 Corinthians 3:17-18 ESV)

Today, my pensive, doubting, fearful heart is dancing from one degree of glory to the next, swaying to this song.

Posted on by Caroline 2

making plans to waste my life

I’m making plans, friends. And why shouldn’t I get swept up in the wave of everyone making plans for the future (some full of hope and others full of dread)? I’m making plans, but they sometimes come out of an undignified and broken down place.

Have you ever been there?

It’s a place of exposure and pain, but it’s a place where desperation reaches for solid ground… and the reaching is revelry because the solid ground is so firm that it can be built upon.

The blueprints are looking like this and it’s feeling like beautiful.

Breaking Down by John Mark McMillan

I’m making plans to waste my life on You
I’m making plans to waste my life on You
Cause New York City and Hollywood combined
They ain’t got enough lights
To make me want change my mind about You

Cause I’m breaking down
I don’t even care if there’s anyone else around
Cause I’m breaking down
I always fall to pieces whenever You’re around

I’m Mary Magdalene and tonight is a bottle of perfume
I’m Mary Magdalene and tonight is a bottle of perfume
There’s not enough dignity to hold me now
When I know You’re going to meet me here
There’s not enough gravity
To keep me away from You

Cause I’m breaking down
I don’t even care if there’s anyone else around
Cause I’m breaking down
I always fall to pieces whenever You’re around

So, meet me here
Where we shine like gold
Like the light beneath the embers
Of the burning coals
And I will spill my bottle
Like in days of old
On the song that bleeds from the breaking down

Posted on by Caroline 0

in feast or fallow

It is not winter, not yet.

Now is the time for harvest. Now is the time for bounty and breaking bread and gatherings that overflow into more gatherings.
But sometimes in the middle of harvest one can feel the winter.

While seated at the abundant table, the soul can sometimes taste the bitter cold. It’s not that life is depressed and dreary – not necessarily a sudden dark night of the soul. But sometimes in the middle of harvest, our hearts stretch pained because we daily do battle with brokenness.

It’s a beautiful thing, really, to feel the brisk breeze of winter while seated at the table of abundance. Oh, how sweet it is to remember who provides and protects and presides over our broken assemblage! It is not the work of our hands, but the Lord’s alone that allows us to taste and see that He is good. In the harvest, we remember that “whatever comes, we shall endure” because He is good. And so, we give thanks. We delight in provision and give thanks for the warmth before winter, but we know that in winter our certain hope is found in the same place.

Our winters will surely come, but in Christ our hope is found.

For these times, we need a simple tune that invites us into praise for every season. We need a song that prays, “Come, Emmanuel.”
Sing with me today?

When the fields are dry, and the winter is long
Blessed are the meek, the hungry, the poor
When my soul is downcast, and my voice has no song
For mercy, for comfort, I wait on the Lord

In the harvest feast or the fallow ground,
My certain hope is in Jesus found
My lot, my cup, my portion sure
Whatever comes, we shall endure.
Whatever comes, we shall endure

On a cross of wood, His blood was outpoured
He Rose from the ground, like a bird to the sky
Bringing peace to our violence, and crushing death’s door
Our Maker incarnate, our God who provides.

come, oh come, Emman- u- el
come, oh come, Emman- u- el

When the earth beneath me crumbles and quakes
Not a sparrow falls, nor a hair from my head
Without His hand to guide me, my shield and my strength
In joy or in sorrow, in life or in death

Posted on by Caroline 0

the dance I do when I realize I’m free

Don’t treat me like things of this world
I’m not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve
Is a man that makes me and takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I’m not the one you own
If you don’t, you’ll be alone
And like a ghost I’ll be gone

from “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé

Is it too soon to take this song to task? I hope I don’t ruin it for every wedding and their bouquet tosses. It’s not my intention, I promise.

I want to talk about Buzz Lightyear.
Isn’t that who Beyonce is looking for – all that infinity and beyond business? No, but seriously, who is she talking about?

200 px

She prefers.. ahem, deserves a man who makes her and takes her to a destiny, to infinity and beyond.

I don’t know any men like that.

Well, I don’t know any women like that either, though I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard girls say to other girls, “He doesn’t deserve you, honey. You are so much better than that. You deserve someone really great. If anyone deserves someone really great, it’d be you.”

Yes, I’ve heard those exact words spoken from one girl to another in tender moments where one girl is seeking solace and another girl is spreading the salve as thick as she knows how.

Nothing against either girl, I just think it’s unfortunate.

Let’s say a girl is still looking into her late twenties. Let’s say said girl goes in and out of a few relationships that didn’t pan out. Let’s say this girl’s friends constantly tell her, “It’s definitely not you – you’re great…. too great for him. That’s for sure. You need a man who makes you and takes you to a destiny, to infinity and beyond.” Let’s say that said girl starts thinking, “Wait, if I am so great why is this taking so long? Why do so many men think I’m not great enough?”

What?

It sounds silly because it is.

What makes Beyoncé deserve such a man and how did she attain such a status? Are we all “deserving” of these superheroes? If not, who decides who gets a Buzz Lightyear and who gets a Captain Underpants?

I just wonder if we need to take a step back (not so far back that we don’t appreciate her unbelievable talent or dance skills) and ask ourselves if we should be shopping the superhero aisles for the multi-colored spandex suit that best fits our fancy.

I’m gonna go with no.

“In Christianity, the moment we believe, God imputes Christ’s perfect performance to us as if it were our own, and adopts us into His family. In other words, God can say to us just as He once said to Christ, ‘You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

You see, the verdict is in. And now I perform on the basis of the verdict. Because He loves and accepts me, I do not have to do things just to build up my résumé. I do not have to do things to make me look good. I can do things for the joy of doing them.” — p. 40, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller

Good news for everyone!

Good news for all the men who aren’t Buzz Lightyear: the verdict is in. For those who believe in the work of Christ on the cross, God looks at you and says He is pleased.

Good news for all the ladies who aren’t Beyoncé (and think they “deserve” Buzz Lightyear”): the verdict is in. For those who believe in the work of Christ on the cross, God looks at you and says He is pleased.

Period.

Without Christ’s work on the cross, ladies are sucked into thinking we need to be the kind of lady who “deserves” a perfect man. Without Christ’s work on the cross, men are sucked into thinking they need to be the perfect man.

Hate to break it to you, Beyoncé, but you no more “deserve” Buzz Lightyear (if he did exist) than I do. And Buzz Lightyear can no more attain perfect performance than anyone outside a Marvel Comic who puts on a suit for Halloween.

I bet you want to see the dance I do when I realize I’m free. It’ll never be a music video that garners awards, but BOY! is it ever fun!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 4

the weight of the bread | the need of a Pilot

The kitchen smells like dessert but the taste of communion bread still lingers in my mouth.

At the Desiring God conference last weekend, Kevin DeYoung encouraged us not to be timid with the bread when communion Sunday rolled around – to tear off a big chunk, just to feel the weight of it.

Unfortunately, my church passes a plate with pre-torn flatbread pieces so I had to imagine a weightier loaf. And I did imagine. Sitting up there in the balcony during the second service, I imagined the humanness of my Savior who walked on this earth. I imagined him lifting up the loaf of bread and motivating us to holiness as He declared it a symbol for His body.

As I imagined a weighty chunk of bread in my hand, I thought my Savior’s identity and how it shapes mine. DeYoung pointed out that, in Colossians 3, “God calls us chosen, holy, and beloved before He commands us to be eager about the process of becoming holy.”

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:12-14 ESV)

God does not call us to become holy so that we will be chosen, holy, and beloved. No, we become holy – from one degree to the next – as we are motivated by the weight His grace towards us. We become holy as we dive deeper into the study of God and are stirred up to live in a new way. We become holy by the grace of God and with the power of God as we understand our helplessness without Him.

This song is a story of such helplessness that motivates me to holiness. It’s kind of like holding a weighty chunk of communion bread in my hand and then letting it dissolve on my tongue. His calling me chosen, holy, and beloved is just as real as that piece of bread dissolving in my still-becoming-holy mouth and as gracious as the Pilot who enters the storm to navigate the castaway safely to the shore.

I’m not becoming holy so that I can get to shore.
I am becoming holy because I love so dearly the One who pilots my helpless ship.

Jesus, Savior Pilot Me by The Bifrost Arts

Jesus, Savior, pilot me
Over life’s tempestuous sea;
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rock and treacherous shoal.
Chart and compass come from Thee;
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

Though the sea be smooth and bright,
Sparkling with the stars of night,
And my ship’s path be ablaze
With the light of halcyon days,
Still I know my need of Thee;
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

As a mother stills her child,
Thou canst hush the ocean wild;
Boisterous waves obey Thy will,
When Thou sayest to them, “Be still!”
Wondrous Sovereign of the sea,
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

When at last I near the shore,
And the fearful breakers roar
’Twixt me and the peaceful rest,
Then, while leaning on Thy breast,
May I hear Thee say to me,
“Fear not, I will pilot thee.”

Posted on by Caroline 0

for the beauty of the earth

I keep being drawn into an Amen! during this season and “for the beauty of the earth” seems like a good way to be in agreement. Though the title sounds like the hymn just for hippies, the verses all lead to the chorus which goes like this,

Lord of all to Thee we raise
this our hymn of thankful praise

Here are some amen moments from recently.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 2