Category: Thoughts

let us not be wrong about a wondrous thing

“Luke 12:32 is a verse about the nature of God. It’s a verse about what kind of heart God has. It’s a verse about what makes God glad—not merely about what God will do or what he has to do, but what he delights to do, what he loves to do, and what he takes pleasure in doing. “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
(Love to the Uttermost Holy Week Devotional, p. 2)

I am wrong about a lot of things… and often. As I read the above from the Holy Week devotional, I asked the Lord to examine my heart and see if I was wrong about this one wondrous thing. Because of all things to be wrong about, the nature of God is pretty major – maybe the most major thing to be wrong about in all of life. A.W. Tozer wrote, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

Many people view the nature of God as one they must hide from at the risk of being smitten or they reject that God must be hidden from and stand defiantly in opposition.

The former view of God is a fearful one that hides not only from God’s judgment but also from His blessing. The latter view is a boastful one that defiantly exposes oneself to God’s judgment but also rejects His blessing with clenched fist raised high.

Can we hide from God – from His judgment or His blessing?

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,
”even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you. (Psalm 139:1-12, ESV)

No, we cannot hide from God. We can find the deepest cave, the most secret tunnel, the most remote island and He will find us. The world and everything in it is His. We can never run so far that we are beyond His gaze. If He desires, His judgment will find us as easily as His blessing.

Can we defy God’s judgment and reject His blessing?

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. (Romans 1:18-23)

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:17, ESV)

No, we cannot defy God. We cannot erase the righteous wrath of God by closing our eyes and raising our fists. He created us and imprinted His name on our hearts as a trademark of His craftsmanship. He will pour out His wrath and His blessing whether the world receives them with eyes open or closed.

There is no hiding from God and there is no defying God. But, if we understand the true nature of God, we will not want to hide or defy Him. 

the kingdom is a wondrous thing

In Luke 12:32, we read that it is God’s good pleasure to give us the kingdom. God, in His very nature, is delighted to give us the most precious and beautiful and costly thing – Himself.

Today is Palm Sunday, when we remember that Jesus rode triumphantly on a humble donkey into the city that would betray Him. He had set his face like flint toward Jerusalem (Luke 9:51), determined to submit to the Father’s will and experiencing the joy set before Him as He endured the scorn (Hebrews 12).

It is futile and foolish to hold up clenched fists in defiance of this kind of precious, beautiful, costly love, but it is also foolish to hide from it. The enormity of God’s glory is a weighty and scary thing, but God purposed to cast out all fear with His perfect love (1 John 4:18) when He sent Jesus to satisfy His wrath for those He had chosen.

The cross uncovers a Father who provided a way for His creation to be reconciled, but not out of obligation or master schemery. His provision was not a plan B or a compromise. He did not need to make provision that any would be reconciled.

The Father provided a way for His creation to be reconciled because He is in His nature good and merciful, tender-hearted and loving. 

God gave the kingdom to His creation willingly because it brought Him great delight. He gave His children the kingdom – His Son – out of the kind of joy we don’t have room in our brains to understand. His glorious face shone with pleasure when His Son paid the ransom due for His children to be reconciled to Him. Can you imagine? The God of the universe delighting in you coming home, delighting in the sacrifice of His own Son so that you could come home?

Both hiding from and defying God are rooted in fear. And fear (the unrighteous kind) has no place in God’s reconciliation mission of our souls.

Will we let the perfect love of Christ cast out all fear?
Will we admit where we are wrong about this wondrous thing?
Posted on by Caroline 2

further up and further in you go

Lucy Pevensie is a teacher of the sweetest kind because she leads the way in innocent and curious discovery. I can almost hear her gasps as she uncovers truths and mysteries, walking boldly toward light inside dark.

Have you ever watched the face of a little one building with blocks? The careful consideration and slow motions always surprise me. You would think (I would) that children are impatient and impulsive when it comes to block building, but it is not so. They must have reasons in their little minds for going slowly, considering thoroughly, and placing thoughtfully every piece.

Last week, I watched a little one put one block on top of another and each time he would look around and squeal with arched eyebrows as if to say, “Look! Can you believe this tower?”

I couldn’t help it. My response was always in kind with a gasp for effect, “Wow! Look at that! What a great tower!” I was legitimately impressed with the height he achieved before it toppled over and he started again – the same exclamations each time he placed a block on top of a block.

Oh, Lucy Pevensie would be proud, I think, of the way the little one is teaching me a lesson about depth and joy and mystery. In The Last Battle, Lucy was talking with her friend Tumnus the Faun as they overlooked the garden wall.

“I see,” she said at last, thoughtfully. “I see now. This garden is like the Stable. It is far bigger inside than it was outside.”

“Of course, Daughter of Eve,” said the Faun. “The further up and the further in you go, the bigger everything gets. The inside is larger than the outside.”

…

“I see,” she said. “This is still Narnia, and, more real and more beautiful than the Narnia down below, just as it was more real and more beautiful than the Narnia outside the Stable door! I see … world within world, Narnia within Narnia…”

Do we see the world this way, believing a million little dazzling mysteries are tucked inside mysteries? And do we live like these mysteries change the shape of our hearts, the expressions on our faces, and the excitement of discovery?

Oh, the answer always has to be “No” because the mystery of endless depths is that they are endless. But, the discovery that these depths are worth the dive begs the question: will you dive?

Even if (and because surely) you will never reach the bottom – will you dive into the endless depths to discover they just keep going?

My answer to this, I hope, is always “Yes!” with the expression of the little one who wonders at blocks balancing on top of blocks and with the determination of Lucy who is not afraid to believe that a bigger world can fit within a smaller world.

“Further up and further in you go, my child.”

I imagine God saying this as I follow Him into the grace upon grace (John 1:16) I received from the fullness of Christ.

“Yes! Further up and further in I go!” I want to respond.

Each glorious mystery appears to be the most deserving of superlatives, but then there is more and deeper and greater and another most beautiful.

This post was inspired in my reading of Jared C. Wilson’s book, Gospel Deeps where he shares the same excerpt from C.S. Lewis’s classic The Last Battle. Well, that and my amazing little clients. 

Posted on by Caroline 2

no cross so heavy

There is a line in one of my favorite hymns, Count Your Many Blessings, that sings this melody in the second verse,

“Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?”

And it is this song that came to mind as I read from 1 John that “his commandments are not burdensome.” The weight pressing on top of hunched, wearied shoulders is not the weight of God’s commandments.

Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world.

And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God? (1 John 5:1-5 ESV, emphasis mine)

Because we are freed to follow, freed to love, freed to obey, freed to hope in believing the power of Christ’s death and resurrection.

Freed.

If a slave is released from the toil of one yoke to another – from the demands of one set of chains to the demands of another – we do not proclaim him free. He is not free. The nature of his slavery is that he must work to live.

The nature of our freedom in Christ is that Christ’s work grants life. The work is accomplished and freedom is gained in believing.

So, when we read that our love of God is expressed in our keeping of His commandments, it is not because our law abiding secures our life.

Did you hear that, friend?

There is not one law-abiding thing you can do to make your life more secure. Christ has done all the work and offers you all the reward.

This is the victory – the glorious, weightless truth that Christ broke the slave chains of sin and destroyed the yoke of death. And He did all this without our help, while we were helpless.

Today, remember that keeping God’s commandments is what we are freed into and that Christ stands in the gap when we obey imperfectly. When we believe that Christ truly conquered and canceled sin on the cross, our righteousness rests on the burden he bore on our behalf. Let’s love Him and keep His commandments with this kind of grace hemming us in.

The cross might seem heavy that you are called to bear, but there is no cross so heavy as the cross Christ bore on our behalf to free us to love Him, obey Him, serve Him, and enjoy Him.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 0

praise is what we do when…

This day is a doozy – a still-in-process and not-quite-done-yet, full on doozy.

This is exactly the kind of day that is in need of serious praise. On days like these I like to call in old standards. You know? The classic kind that just settles deep and reminds you that your heart cannot run ahead of the Spirit’s rhythm.

Actually, I think the reminder is more that I shouldn’t want to run anywhere but here – in the middle of the Spirit’s metronome, singing the doxology.

Because praise is what we do when we remember that God is faithful and true and a keeper of promises. Praise is what we do when we believe God is full of grace extending out and covering this moment as well as the next.

Praise is what we do when our lives try to run ahead of the Spirit’s rhythm because praise dances in step to His grace.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow on this, the second day of Spring!

let LOVE fly like crAzY
Posted on by Caroline 2

long obedience in the same direction

Here’s an excerpt from my post over at Of Dust and Kings today (go check out the full post if you want the rest):

Christ, who holds all things together, offers Himself to be savored and then promises to make us look like Him.

My parents didn’t know just how narrow the gate and hard the way would be as foster parents, but they didn’t sign up for a short spasm of passion that they could forget after a while. My parents signed up for the long and tedious work, committing to trust God’s grace to light the way for their next step on the hard way. They aren’t doing it perfectly, but they are daily looking more and more like Christ.

If you want to hear Gary Haugen’s talk from The Justice Conference that inspired this soapbox of sorts, check it out below. The last few minutes are worth watching, so if you only have a bit of time start from 41:30. You won’t regret it.

I wrote previously about my parents’ experience here: “mid-life: exchanging crisis for calling” and here “the opposite of mid-life crisis”.

Posted on by Caroline 0

what the system cannot do

Paperwork. Bleh.

Yesterday my car was a freight train from 8:30 am – 7:30 pm, making a maze around Des Moines for appointments and meetings and visits. Today, my car Eddie has been parked in my driveway since 1 pm and I’m inside eating pistachios, watching the sun dance in my living room, and working on monthly reports. It feels way less productive, that’s for sure. But if I don’t finish the reports, all the speeding around is for nothing.

If a train never stops anywhere, what use is there to jump on board?

Apparently, I need a little blog therapy to stay stationary today. I need to remember that the words on paper are important to the little ones in my backseat. Sometimes the words on paper are what fight for them when everyone else has laid down their swords. So, I’ll write the words and finish my reports and respond to the emails and follow up on phone calls.

These frequent stops on the speeding train do make me wonder about the social transit grid – the systems and structures that make up child welfare. Where are we going to and coming from? And do those destinations make sense or are we all just rushing to get on board? The questions are too big for Tuesday late afternoon, so I won’t attempt an answer.

What I will say is working in the system has shed light on what the system cannot do. It cannot change people or convince people or heal people or cure people. It cannot offer forgiveness or grace (second chances are not the same).

Every time my speeding train stops and I get good and stationary, I am aware of what the system cannot do. Right about that time (now) I fix my eyes on the unseen miracles authored by the One who keeps His promises.

This grid of systems and structures is visible – in the paperwork and the gas mileage and the court costs – and it is limited. Meanwhile, I’m hanging my hope on something unseen. This is the grace-energized faith that makes my speeding and stationary days about more than the grid.

As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18 ESV)

Posted on by Caroline 1

the foolishness of too many things

All the markers were strewn around his feet. He stretched his chubby fingers, determined to pick up every one and carry them across the room. But he was too ambitious – every time he grabbed more than three the first two would fall out.

I just watched as he bent over with furrowed brows and his little bum in the air. He started grunting after several failed attempts and my heart swelled. He didn’t want just two markers or even three and he certainly didn’t want to make several trips across the room. He wanted all of them at once, no exceptions.

Oh, little one, I understand.

Everybody thinks you are crazy (seriously, kid – fifteen markers at once is never happening), but I get it. I get that those markers became super important the minute they became impossible.

Sometimes I wish it was culturally acceptable for me to just hang out with my bum in the air and grunt while I try to do what is obviously impossible. I don’t know why I wish that (I know I will have to give up eventually), but maybe it has something to do with our efforts as adults to keep things hidden.

I don’t want my foolishness out in the open. I don’t want to be caught with my bum in the air and furrowed brow, determining to do something impossible and foolish. But little ones – they get a “pass” when it comes to things like this because they don’t know any better.

I watched this little guy pick up and drop the markers until something shiny distracted from his frustration. And, I thought, I understand.

But there is something else – something about growing and knowing and being aware of what is good and wise and possible.

As much as I wish I could be foolish without consequence, I am glad to be rescued (to some degree) from futility. Deep down, I don’t really wish to go back to ignorance (even though it looks carefree and blissful at times).

I am grateful for knowing what I know on this side of things. I’m grateful for God’s promise to grow us from one degree of glory to another and that He teaches us what is foolish and what is wise. I claim this wisdom daily as I walk out steps of faith in obedience.

It just feels… complicated sometimes.

Posted on by Caroline 2

wooed many times into love

I have been reading the Hymn Stories from Challies blog and (this will come as no surprise) the words are often deeper and richer and fuller than what we choose to sing throughout our days.

As I read the bit of history on the hymn, “How Firm A Foundation,” I thought of something I heard recently in a sermon. The pastor said, “…the Bible is aware of the complexity of sin.” It didn’t sit well with me and as I thought over these words I realized why. Is a foundation merely “aware” of all that’s built on its top or does it inform and support and uphold every piece in place?

The Bible is more than aware of sin’s complexity because the Bible is the Living Word of God and our only guide against sin, a firm foundation and as steady as 4/4 time.

We are wooed many times into love with Truth.

There is the first initial drawing and calling and wooing that opens our eyes to the Love that grace helps us receive in Christ. And then there is the falling in love – the delighting in being betrothed and chosen. And then there is the wooing that comes round after we’ve chased other loves and forgotten how to stand.

This wooing again into love with Truth comes through the firm foundation of the Word. We are reminded that, by grace, God keeps us secure in His promises. He has claimed us as His own and offers the inspired words of Scripture as a constant love song to draw us out of fear and into strength.

We forget, I do anyway, the deep love and affection of the resurrection. I forget my place “while still a sinner” when Christ reached into the depths and sang his love song to my dead bones. I forget what I once was (1 Corinthians 6:11) and what I would be, if not for Christ. I forget the first few redeeming notes of the salvation song.

But Truth has many pages and the salvation song plays when we open the Word! God’s promises are not shifting shadows. His faithful song remains unchanged and when we have ears to hear, we will be wooed once again by His melody.

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11 ESV)

The Word reminds me what God called us out of – that we were once sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, practicing homosexuals, thieves and the greedy, the drunkards and revilers, and swindlers.

God graciously interrupts the barrage of sinful labels to remind us that we are washed, sanctified, and justified in the name of Jesus and by the Spirit.

We are wooed many times into love and it is by the reading of the Word. God has given us the treasure of His divinely inspired words to uphold and inform and support everything else that is built in our lives. This is the kind of transformational building the resurrection empowers.

I am awake, today at least, to the way the Word woos me into greater love for the salvation song. Do you hear the melody or have you forgotten? Have you ever heard it?

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 3

seeking the greatest treasure

You know the kind of wave that arches around and swallows from all sides? My heart just got swallowed up by love on all sides like that kind of wave.

It’s been an interesting week, to say the least, but to end by being swallowed up on all sides by love is not such a bad thing. The flood feels like a thousand drops of sunshine, so “not such a bad thing” would be an understatement.

Amidst many layered other things this week, I read this article from Desiring God, “Single, Satisfied, and Sent: Mission for the Not-Yet Married.” It felt a little bit like Marshall Segall read my journal and listened in to my conversations over the past several years, but now I know I don’t need to publish the post that’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year “single, satisfied, and unselfish.” He said it better than I would have, I’m sure, and it helped bring some things in to focus as I sought the Lord.

I’ve really made an intentional effort not to fixate on situational things I cannot change. Maybe it’s the counselor in me that sees the futility in getting anxious about things outside my control. I am so incredibly grateful for God’s grace that placed godly men in my life to sharpen, challenge, and encourage me as I pursue Christ. My experience (which is not every girl’s) living inside these blessings has impacted the way I see relationships. I want to share just a snapshot of that experience.

so, I’m not a relationship book junkie

For whatever reason (and maybe the reason above), I’m not a relationship book junkie. Do you know the type? The girl who buys every dating book on the Christian market, inserts her own experience into the pages, and then adopts a new “method” to coping with her relational status. There was the phase where she kissed dating goodbye, and then the phase where she was only courting, and then the phase where she wasn’t interested in men because she was trying to be “content” with God. She kind of dated the dating books – if she had problems or frustrations, she could always find an author that justified her feelings and gave her 5 tips to get back “on track.”

NOTE TO THE READER: If you are the girl described above, I would encourage you to go read a different blog post – maybe one on antiques or the sovereignty of God or… knitting. Choose anything but the topic of relationships because I don’t want to be this month’s solution. Your best reading material is Scripture. Maybe try that first.

I hope you don’t think I’m the Debbie Downer when relationships are the topic of conversation. I love talking about the way God has designed us to reflect his trinitarian nature. I love understanding how our interaction with one another says so much about who God is. I love grappling with God’s introduction of marriage in the garden and the way he wove it through Scripture and presents Christ as the Bridegroom of the Church.

But I’m not trying to talk or understand or grapple as a means to solving my struggle with my relationship status. In reading, “The Meaning of Marriage” by Tim Keller, I was not hoping that it would be another 2 points for the good team – hopefully tipping the scales and giving me the holy advantage I need to find the right man. I read Keller’s book (which I highly recommend) because I wanted to know God’s design better, deeper.

It’s a good design – from any angle. It’s such a beautiful and good design that points ultimately to the good Designer, who holds all our hope and joy and future secure. I can love marriage and it’s place in my life without being obsessive about it playing out in my life. I love marriage because I love God – and He loves marriage!

He created marriage to display His glory and it does in so many beautiful ways.

What frustrates me about the books and books and books from women who are trying to help other women figure out life outside of marriage is this: they speak in pre-marriage/post-marriage language.

I read an article recently from a married woman who was so disappointed that she waited to have sex until she was married – it wasn’t what she hoped and looking back, she wished she hadn’t waited. I have read countless articles on the topic of sex and waiting vs. not waiting from women on all sides of the argument. And then there are the blogs about contentedness – what to do with the desire for a husband and family. I recently read about a woman who felt like her gifts couldn’t be used fully pre-marriage. And of course there are more – on every topic from career to money to children – the internet is heavy with posts from women who have something to say about singleness.

I usually don’t write about singleness because I loathe (a little bit) the attention it gets in Christian circles. I get it – we struggle as singles. It should be talked about and grappled with and our conclusions should be tested against Scripture and refined by seeking the Lord in prayer. I do get it and maybe that’s why I am writing today.

I am 28 and single. I have no idea what the future holds – really, literally, no idea (message me if you want to hear some stories that have caused me to let go of any ideas I did have). You may not believe me, but I am not anxious. I am not restless. I am not sad. 

My God is sovereign and able to make grace abound in Christ so that I am capable to do every good work (2 Corinthians 9:8). I am not “working at being content” so that I hit the contentment quotient and God would grant me a knight in shining armor. I am content because God is faithful to keep His promises.

I love my Lord and He loves me.
He loves me and has chosen to be betrothed to me.

“I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness.” (Hosea 2:19-20)

This is my Lord who loves me and has given me grace to love Him back. He will betroth me to Himself in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. This is my Lord, who chose me while I was still a sinner to be His bride! He is faithful when I doubt and fail and He is faithful when I choose righteousness by His grace. He is faithful as no other bridegroom will ever be. His sanctifying work in me is a promise that will not be broken and this is security no earthly marriage can guarantee.

Oh, I love my Jesus.

And this sounds like a soapbox. I guess it probably is. I am just another voice in the noise about relationships. But, my hope is that in sharing my experience someone might know that you can give up the formulas. You don’t have to get better at knowing God or better at being a servant or better at communication so that God will find you suitable as someone’s helpmate.

Seek to know and love God because you want to know and love God.

The reward is so great. When you taste and see the Lord is good, your desire for other things is always with the lingering taste of Christ on your tongue.

He is your first and best and enduring reward. Seek Him because He is the best thing to seek. He is the only One who can cause a wave of love to arch over your life and engulf you in joy. Only He can do that.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy, ladies
and seek the greatest treasure because then you will be satisfied

 

Posted on by Caroline 3

still

Heart of my own heart
Whatever befall,
Still be my vision
O Ruler of all

Still.

God is so good because He already knows whatever will befall. He knows that when we say “still be my vision” we are asking for His grace to make it so. He knows all the ways we will avert our eyes and look to others. He knows we will be ruled by other rulers in weak moments.

He knows, but still He keeps.
He guards us and He keeps us and He leads us.
And in His keeping, He is our peace.

We can sing “still be my vision” because His grace is what empowers us to see at all. 

We lift up proclamations only possible by His grace.The Spanish word for still is todavía or aún and both to me roll more steady into the future than still. They seem to be words that point to another word coming after, hanging on for meaning.

“Still be my vision” is my promise that hangs on my belief that God will keep me and guard me and lead me. And He does.

Still.

Posted on by Caroline 1