Category: Thoughts

Home: A Vacation Spot

Today is Friday. Wait a moment while I do my Friday dance … Okay. I’m back.

I’ll admit, writing on a schedule has its pros and cons. Christina opted for the spontaneous blog-style yesterday and I’m tempted to do the same. Thanks, sister, by the way, for sharing a bit of your heart. The states between Texas and Iowa make it a little difficult to understand when things get rough.

Well, in an attempt to stay regular, I’m going to cheat my own system. I was going to write about a few nifty ideas for summer getaways on a low (to no) budget. But, because I’m headed home tomorrow to Iowa and the brilliant unofficial state *song is blaring in my head, I’m going to talk about taking a creative, thrifty vacation to home.

It sounds strange, I know. Most times when we say we’re taking a vacation we’re going away from home instead of to it. Yet, there’s something like a magnetic force that attracts me to the green hills, lakes, and coffee shop conversations. It’s a perfect escape to be with the people I love, which is one reason why it’s a vacation. The other reason is that at home food, travel, and entertainment is sometimes (if not always) free, thanks to the generous pockets of my parents. Before you think that I’m a freeloader, I can say with confidence that my parents enjoy it as much as I do.

So, especially if you are single, consider making your summer vacation at your parents’ place. Granted, there will be some strategizing to make sure your time is well spent – it’s easy to find the home groove and miss all the best parts.

But, one thing I love about being on a little farm on a gravel road in southwest Iowa is the familiar. I’m always hesitant to confirm people’s stereotypes about Iowa – farms and tractors. But, of course, I eventually concede that I do live on a farm and there were special days where classmates would drive tractors to school. And, yes, we probably know more than we ought about what goes on in everyone’s lives. But, we are also a family. A high-school classmate of mine was recently involved in a gas explosion. The situation is still very serious and even here in Texas I can picture the love and prayers surrounding him. In all my time here in Austin, I have only twice met someone I knew in the grocery store. In Iowa, the grocery store often becomes a social event – it’s strange if you don’t know at least a dozen people before you reach the checkout.

There is a slightly romantic notion I keep about our quaint little farmstead. To hear myself describe it, you would think it a fairytale. Now, we all know that’s not true. And, if I rush home expecting anything of the sort I’ll be quite abruptly received. My mother just emailed me this morning (yes, my parents DID finally give in and get the internet) and said that the three sump pumps in the basement are not doing the trick – the water is shut off. Nothing romantic about that! But, my heart did skip for some Iowa ingenuity.

These little things like sump pumps and loose cows are scattered delightfully across my childhood. In every instance, a new sparkle remembers the creativity and skill with which our family faced its foes. One of the last times I was home, I couldn’t have been more excited to hear the words, “The cows are out.” If you’ve seen the movie “The Holiday,” you might compare the remote and quaint English cottage to our busy farmstead – I’m sure it would look like a prime getaway online (maybe you should try that mom – start a bed and breakfast!).

The further and further I get from Iowa, the more and more I realize God’s faithfulness. I know I didn’t have it perfect, but I continue to feel ever so blessed that God showed me grace before I could understand it… that he made home a place I’d like to vacation.

Next week I will be speaking at Bethany Camp in Brayton, Iowa to junior high kids. Please pray for the transformation of hearts and minds!

*I desperately tried to find an audio version of the Iowa song, but could not, so your imagination will have to suffice (unless you’re from Iowa, in which case you would definitely know the tune).

Posted on by Caroline 0

what a difference a day makes

Ok, so we’re breaking from regularly scheduled programming today. Since this blog started up with Caroline and myself, we’ve been trying to write it like a magazine, with articles each week. Well, today I want to write on it like a blog. And since I’m one of the founding members, I believe I will 🙂

So, a lot has happened in the last 3 weeks in my world. I decided to turn up the heat on the job search; I made some amazing new friends that I just couldn’t get enough of, and it looked like this was gearing up to be a great summer. Nights out on the patio talking later than I’d like but strangely not caring about the time, and calls from companies that think I’m pretty great, along with time spent with God thanking him for all these blessings, were filling my days with joy and praise for the One who makes great plans for his children.

Fast forward a few weeks, and one new friend went AWOL, another turned into kind of a weird situation that breaks my heart, and anxiously awaiting God’s timing for movement on the job front has turned from joyous expectation to frustrating clock-watching.

…And I keep thinking that you know, a few weeks ago before these changes happened, I was happy. I had plenty of friends- great ones, whom I love so dearly. I was fine at my job. Not happy, but fine. Then these last few weeks everything got shook up. And the thing is- it was great. So, so great. It was awesome to have new exciting friendships that made me feel like I’d stepped back into college. It was a forgotten thought, to think that God might work it out for me to step into a job that would engage my talents and my heart.

So now I have to think, did it all change? Did God change his mind, and I’m to stay here, because the sweet company that I applied at didn’t call back the day they said they would? Is it going to be a lonely summer just because I’m missing two friends to whom I’ve only recently grown attached? And maybe it’s just me, and I’m probably just ungrateful, but it seems like everyone has really terrible advice about all of it. Sisters and best friends all saying things that didn’t seem to help at all. Last night, though, my roommate said something that made today feel like the sky had opened up again. I think it was something to the effect of “That’s hard… I’m sorry… but you’ll be ok”

I think that’s all I really needed to hear. Because you know, it IS hard. And I WILL be ok. For God is the same yesterday and today and tomorow, and he has the same great plan for his children whether they’re seeing the glass half empty or full, whether things are looking good or very, very bad. So I’m resting in that. Resting, and listening to the new Coldplay CD online, and really smiling, for the first time all week.

Posted on by Caroline 1

Libraries are like Toys

My all-time aesthetic dream is this:

I’m sitting in a worn leather chair, holding a well-read copy of Treasure Island, in a quiet, lively room. The lingering smells of old pages, coffee, and a hint of cigar smoke rest on the outdated chairs, sofas, and end tables. Books of all thickness are scattered about, some in piles and others attempt neat arrangements on shelves that cover most of the wall space. Where there are no books, I admire the paintings and illustrations of names I both recognize and can not pronounce. I read the room like a map and always find places yet undiscovered. Conversations drift in and out as my industrious friends flip pages and consult encyclopedias. There is a calm frenzy to consume the limitless literary delicacies.

Dreaming? Most certainly. And, enter my frustration with the way things are.

I recently found myself in the middle of a delightful conversation with a friend about her hopes to become a writer, when I realized something.

It was advice C.S. Lewis gave about writing. He said something like, ‘In order to be a good writer, you must be a good reader.’ You must read good writing, in order to recognize good writing. Of course this makes mountains of sense, but less than molehills are made of this philosophy.

See, I don’t think very many people would disagree with Lewis. I think we are really good at talking about the importance of brilliant literature and dreadful at follow-through. Case in point: libraries.

Right now, I’m a boarder in a city suburb, so I’ve toured many new homes. It seems that the trend is to have an office/library somewhere in the front of the house. This gives the house a sophisticated and important air (nevermind the television shrine above the fireplace in the living room) that communicates status, knowledge, and an arrival of sorts.

What I find so interesting (and I see the same tendency in myself) is that these spaces are so rarely used! We collect the titles like Moby Dick and Pride and Prejudice, arrange them artistically, and there the story ends. We move on to more exciting ways to develop our intellect through “Dancing with the Stars” and “Iron Man” and “Grand Theft: Auto.”

It’s as though we’ve finally collected every beanie baby and now it’s time to move to the next trend – webkins anyone? Everyone (sometimes ashamedly) has the color-coded bins full of toys with no functionality or value except as an antiquated status statement. So, why treat the brilliance of literature like outdated toys?

Because we are still children. We are still attracted to what glitters and distracted by what makes the loudest noise.

My sad confession is that I make decisions opposite my aesthetic dream every day. I consciously decide the mind-numbing activity over the engaging. I also realize my dream is a romantic notion, but I know there are others who respond to the brilliance of fiction and the Truth hidden in history.

I just hope libraries – in their genuine function – never go out of style, because what is found there is far more valuable than trendy toys.

Posted on by Caroline 0

40 days to Life

So, about a month and a half ago I did the unthinkable. Well, the unthinkable for a dairy farmer’s daughter who grew up on steak and potatoes and pie. I went organic. It came about kind of a weird way- through church. This verse kept coming up- Philippians 4:8. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Originally I thought about doing this for what I put into my brain- trying to really put these words into practice in my life, and see how things would change. The more I thought about this 40 day challenge, the more food came to mind. It might just have been the mid-service hunger that hits me when I realize that I was in too much of a rush to eat breakfast, but food kept coming to mind when I was thinking about really living this verse. Like, what if I only put pure FOODS into my body for 40 days?

They say that 30 days is long enough to make new habits, and I had already decided that I was doing a 40 day trial for a Philippians 4:8 life, so right there in the service, I decided to go for it.
I left church with a spring in my step, pumped to get started on my new project. I started working moving my (HUGE) TV to the attic, and taking my 1st trip to a specialty health food store (only to find out later that it’s definitely the most expensive in town…).

I quickly realized I didn’t really know much about healthy and organic eating, but I knew that refined sugar, fake sweeteners, and white breads were probably a bad idea, so I started with that. No more diet coke for me! The first few days I went through hard-core withdrawal, missing my refined foods like a crazy person.

After the second day, I called my bff Tina’s mom, who knows about all this business. She suggested that I read a book called “What the Bible says about Healthy Living” to get a better idea of what pure foods we should be putting into our bodies. Well, this was just the direction I needed, and I tracked down that book as fast as I could, and started digging in immediately. So much wisdom I’d never known! And it made so much sense! The way that God made foods, that’s the way that they are meant to be eaten by his people! So simple! So I kept making these changes, more and more. Feeling better and better every day.

After a few weeks, I started feeling like I wasn’t missing out… but that maybe everyone else was. I mean, what’s more delicious than fresh fruits and veggies, and almonds, and honey, and well… I could go on 🙂 so now the 40 days have come and gone.

And I can’t imagine going back.

Call me kooky, but I’m in this for the long haul. I’ve fallen in love with my health food stores, my farmers market stands, the treasure hunt all over Des Moines for unprocessed honey. I’m head over heels for cooking and eating without worrying about calories, but instead thinking about health and nutrition. And I’ve accepted the fact that I’m in over my head in this hippie lifestyle. My next steps are making my own laundry detergent, finding un-pasteurized milk via the organic black market, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I joined a co-op soon.

This whole thing started out on a whim, but after 40 days I can’t imagine living any other way for the next 40 years.

Here’s just a tidbit of organic wisdom for you (courtesy USDA):

The U.S. Department of Agriculture found that even after washing, some fruits and vegetables consistently carry much higher levels of pesticide residue than others. Based on an analysis of more than 100,000 U.S. government pesticide test results, researchers at the Environmental Working Group (EWG), a research and advocacy organization based in Washington, D.C., have developed the “dirty dozen” fruits and vegetables, above, that they say you should always buy organic, if possible, because their conventionally grown counterparts tend to be laden with pesticides. They cost about 50 percent more — but are well worth the money.

DIRTY DOZEN- things you should buy organic only
Apples
Cherries
Grapes, imported (Chili)
Nectarines
Peaches
Pears
Raspberries
Strawberries
Bell peppers
Celery
Potatoes
Spinach
Other organic foods worth considering:
Milk
Beef
Poultry

Posted on by Caroline 0

New! Exciting development for foreign heart!

I can hardly contain my excitement in the recent thrilling turn of events! My sister Christina (the clever, creative cat of former blog fame) and I have decided to merge our talents. This blog will no longer be the musings of one foreign heart, but TWO.

I already know she’ll harass me for pushing the sentiment, so let’s get to the real exciting part. We have been wanting to launch a website for a long time. Not just any website (of course), but one that would combine our creative energies and be a one-stop shop for both sides of the brain!

Of course, we are convinced we are different than all the other pages and writings and musings out there. And, if you are skeptical, well… then just stick around to see!

We will be having a soft launch of the new format starting next week. In the meantime you might see her doing a bit of blogging by way of introduction. We will be on a six day schedule that will give readers a wide variety of insight into two very different creative worlds.

Lest you think this will all be written in detached abstract (as I tend to do), rest assured that we will open a window into our daily lives and hope that you laugh as much as we do.

In the spirit of this new voyage, come sail with us!

Posted on by Caroline 0

foreign heart

So, it may be about time that I share why I chose the title, “musings of a foreign heart.” Some people have asked, and at times I found myself struggling to articulate. Not that I’m ever completely surprised to stumble over my words, but on this specific point, I would hope my mind, heart, and words would be in sync.

Let’s see, this blog doesn’t have a very long history, but the background does give a bit of context to this rather haphazard journey. When I was in my senior year at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, my sister inspired me with her creative blogging about the adventures of being a new graduate and NYC nanny. I began to think about what adventures I might write about… for I adored writing and aspired to be a great intellectual. Right around this time, there was a conference at rival Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was never so much into the rivalry, but the title is what caught my eye, “Faith and International Development Conference.” Oh dear! How do I combine those two passions?

The conference was a fantastic success. I learned a great deal from the outbreak sessions, speakers, and students. My outlet for processing has always naturally led to writing in one way or another, and with my sister’s cue, I started to explore what that process would look like on a computer screen.

On February 11, 2006, “faith and international development” was the first post.

I fiddled with the gadgets in blogger that held a dream-like charm. My childhood hopes to be an accomplished and published writer were quickly coming into view, via the new world of internet technology! Actually, these blasted things have done well to make dreams of ‘being known’ seem more accessible than reality affords. Nonetheless, off I went to make a name for myself as a ‘foreign heart.’

Why foreign? I am living as a United States citizen, you say.

My first understanding of foreign comes from my primary identity. In the Bible, we read that this world is not our home.

But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. 2 Peter 3:13

Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. 1 Peter 2:11-12

We will always will (and should) feel a mite strange living as we do in this skin and walking on this earth. God has promised a glorious inheritance to His children – apart from this world. In this way, I am glad to be of another land.

These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:7-9

Praise God, for He has redeemed us for His glory!

The musing, then, comes quite naturally. I’m not sure I had words to call it in my growing up years, but when I enrolled in Philosophy 113 with professor James Allis, I immediately found an affinity to talk of deeper things. I love conversations, literary works, and discoveries that challenge the mind and heart. And I believe God created us this way; in His image we are created with minds to probe and question and ponder.

Over the course of two years, ‘musings of a foreign heart’ has quite evolved (and sometimes not for the better). I admit a lack of vision, frequent rambling, and far greater focus on self then there ought.

I’m not really sure (naturally) how I will remedy these last concerns, but I have some ideas. So, be on the lookout, for this foreign heart may find a rhythm.

I’d LOVE to hear your muses! So jot ’em down and let me know!

Posted on by Caroline 0

holy heartburn; an invitation

pre-script: I have been doing some writing for the Gathering blog and so posted this piece there in response to Jeff’s Sunday sermon. Sorry for the duplicate!

As I listened to Jeff speak on Matthew 25:31-46 this past Sunday, I realized I drastically misunderstood God’s call for us to serve the ‘least of these.’ The severity of the passage is evident in the language, but the heat rising in my chest seemed like more than realization of the weight in such a responsibility.We heard about the overwhelming amount of ‘least of theses,’ awareness without action, and the passion of service.

overwhelmed
It just takes a brief look at some of the alarming statistics to feel the overwhelming wave.

  1. Half the world — nearly three billion people — live on less than two dollars a day.Source 1
  2. More than 80 percent of the world’s population lives in countries where income differentials are widening.Source 2
  3. The poorest 40 percent of the world’s population accounts for 5 percent of global income. The richest 20 percent accounts for three-quarters of world income.Source 3
  4. According to UNICEF, 26,500-30,000 children die each day due to poverty. And they “die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world. Being meek and weak in life makes these dying multitudes even more invisible in death.” Source 4

I’ve had the conversation so many times with myself, “Seriously, Caroline, what can you really do to fight AIDS?” “Yeah, but I should probably help somehow” “But even if you help a little, the problem is so huge, it’ll never get better.”

How depressing! That’s the trouble. Instead of looking at the problems of the world and saying, “How can I serve?” we look at the problems and say, “How can my service possibly make a difference?”

Our focus is all wrong. We are accustomed to getting a decent return on our investments. I don’t want to be a part of anything that isn’t successful, so every time I serve I should be able to see results. But, wait a minute, does God call us to serve for success or just to serve unto Him, for His glory?

awareness without action
Jeff called us out. We all know – we’ve all read the headlines and watched the nightly news. We can’t escape the knowledge that there are people in need around the world.

“It’s not an issue about awareness for most of us … people watch the news and then go on eating their dinner”

So, if I do decide to break my routine and serve as unto the Lord, what really is the right action? Instead of gravitating toward popular movements and giant foundations, what if the right thing to do is make it as personal as you possibly can.

“Many people know about poverty, but very few know the poor by name.” John B. Hayes

When Jesus says, “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me,’” he’s talking about getting real personal. And, here’s the thing, it will be much MUCH more rewarding (for the Kingdom and for yourself) if you break your routine for personal service.

passion; an invitation
This holy heartburn I feel rising in my chest is not condemnation for all the times I have “gone on eating my dinner.” No, this holy fire is in response to the greatest of invitations. Service has, quite unjustly, received a bum rap because it appears weak to the world. Yet, what Christ offers in salvation is a share in His suffering and a share in His future glory.

The way we describe and define passion today is very different from its original meaning, which is ’suffering’ and ‘agony’ and to have compassion is to ’suffer with.’

Even as I write now, I’m feeling again the heat rising in my chest. And, now I am sure that service is not penitence. It’s not our payment for all God’s mercy and grace. It’s not piety. Service is an invitation to know God; to share in the sufferings of the ‘least of these.’

The Kingdom is already and not yet. And in this tension, God has extended an invitation to us to take part in HIS ultimate redemption story.

as servants.

So… if you dig this serving thing, check out Compassion in previous post!

Posted on by Caroline 0

A General Masquerade


In light of our reading Animal Farm and its symbolism of the totalitarianism government, “classically inclined” met to watch a French documentary tonight. The documentary, made in 1974, invites the audience into the life of Ugandan dictator Général Idi Amin Dada.

This film is truly surreal. At one moment you are entranced by this jovial, disarming man and the next you are appalled at his confused and evil mind.

Here is a clip from Youtube.

You can find it easily enough, or if you are really ambitious and thrifty you can watch all 17 parts on Youtube.

Let me know what you think!

Posted on by Caroline 0

Bella

Oh dear!

I am quickly going to write a post tonight about my most recent tears over this movie, Bella. Tragic and ordinary. Ugly and beautiful. Lonely and communal.

When we’ve come to rest all there is at the river’s edge, we become aware of our brokenness. Jose and Nina are broken creatures. They each lived not ignorant or innocent of the world in all its white-washed charms. So, we wait on our seats to see what they make of it.

We are each one tempted to make homes in white-washed tombs. But, see there is a choice.

There is life!
(sigh)

x

Posted on by Caroline 0

Texas heat and Prince Caspian

I was almost uncomfortable today in the Texas heat. But, as my mother quickly reminded me, “that’s what you like, you know.” One of my strong arguments for Texas and the South is the weather, so I have to be careful about complaining.

I called my mom after I left work today and she was tending a fire, waiting for it to die down enough to cook some bratwursts. Now, that’s an Iowa way to usher in the summer months! I almost felt like I was right there – within ten feet of the flame. Then I realized that I was just walking on pavement under a clear, hot Texas sky.

I don’t think “hot Texas” would make news anywhere, so why don’t we move on to something more interesting – one of my favorite topics: C.S. Lewis. I went to see Prince Caspian.
———————
Like any good reader of brilliant fiction, I was disappointed with the first movie because it simply failed to live up to the glory of the film I produced in my head. So, given that, my expectations were quite reasonable for Prince Caspian.

No matter how much of the story is lost in film translation, the pure innocence of the child remains. Lucy Pevensey is of course the most endearing. We love her because we all try to remember a time when we were like her. Maybe some people liken her faith to Santa Claus and fairy tales, but Lucy understands what others are convinced to “grow out of.” But we all secretly hope that we could be more like Lucy. We hope that it is possible.

What is so magical… so brilliant… is that C.S. Lewis did not intend this series to be exactly symbolic of the Christian story as we perceive it here on earth. Lewis instead asked the question, “If God had created a world (a different world, where animals could talk and trees could move and all sorts of other mystical things might happen)… if God had created another such world, what would redemption look like?” (He says something like this in his replies to children – see “Letters to Children“)

Lewis uses the artistic gifts God gave him to pursue this idea to its outermost reaches. He stretched his imagination and took us along. Sure, we are captivated by the characters, the magic, and the absurdities, but the true hook is in the brilliance of reflecting something much greater.

C.S. Lewis so artfully asks us to think about redemption outside of ourselves.

Posted on by Caroline 1