Where do I even begin? God is so good! Truly, more than these words can explain… I am blown away by His glory revealed through His blessings!

So, I called this last week my home tour – which was basically a whirwind or people, stories, memories, and wonderful reunions. I had so many people I wanted to meet with and talk to… Thank the Lord he gave me the energy and to meet late into the night and early in the morning – every day was jam-packed and I only started to feel it (the getting less than 3-4 hours of sleep) the last day.

More than anything, I felt that sharing what the Lord did in Poland was HIS story. I merely got to experience it in a different way than the prayer warriors that most certainly went faithfully to the Lord. I wanted to share how God used all of us to fulfill His kingdom purpose! I hope the taste of this overflowing joy remains on my tongue long after the warm feelings wear off.

My family was already busy with school getting started, but I was able to spend some time with them… and when they went to bed I would meet up with some kindred spirits from high school and talked into the morning:) God also blessed me with some surprises – I never expected to recapture and begin beautiful relationships, but the Lord is gracious!

Even as I write this, it seems so vague…because the Lord is so specific in how He works and blesses, but I’m so overwhelmed that I can only speak in vague terms! Words can be so frustrating at times!

Right now I am at my friend’s house in Chicago, getting ready to begin my program tomorrow. I am getting excited about all the possibilities for this semester. It almost feels like I’m a freshman again, because everything is so new. One thing that I’ve been learning (for years, it seems) is that my plans are so small. The things I can think in my human mind are nothing compared to the Lord’s plans – He is so much bigger. So, making plans and mapping my future have become much less important, and making my heart willing has become my focus. To many, this comes as a shock, because I’ve had my life planned out since I was in 8th grade. Yet, there is so much freedom in trusting the Lord to guide.

I’ll have to sit down and write more this week, as we get into orientation, but for now I’m so scattered I think I’ll not make sense!

grace and peace.

So, the last few days have been absolutely amazing. The city is growing on me, but my friend Ania reminded me that I’ve only been in Old Town, which is not really Krakow – it’s tourist central basically. Anyway – I have so many reasons to count blessings!

The hospitality I’ve experienced from Christians here is too wonderful to explain. My new friend Ania stayed with me all week in the flat and was the most beautiful tour guide! I’ve still not had time to process everything that’s happened… But, I’ve made a point to journal and I think a couple days ago I just sat at a coffee shop and read, thought, and wrote (my favorite things). Going to Auschwitz on Monday seems so long ago and already is unreal. I didn’t have but 20 minutes from the time we left Birkenau to when we showed up at the doorstep of a family from camp. They had invited us over when they heard we were in Os’wieciem (the Polish way to say this town – which is really so much more than the remains of the camps). I couldn’t help but smile and laugh with the mom and her two beautiful girls. They are seeking and tomorrow I think Carol will take them to a Protestant church near them. PTL!

Last night Joe and Becca (new missionaries from States with two wonderful children) invited us for dinner and we had a great time! There are so many stories, but I have little time!!

I’ll just end with once again my realization that God is SO big! His heart and creativity is found in each unique face. Yet, the longer I stay, the more I see sad, calloused eyes staring back at me on the streets. My Christian Polish friends say this is how it is all the time – people are only putting one foot in front of the other to do the next thing. They stare straight ahead and are always burdened with something in their hands. I guess there is some comparison with cities in the States, but it’s different when there are smiles and greetings every once in a while. Even one of my Christian friends here struggles with motivation and purpose.

As I leave, I know this is in God’s hands, as He knows best these creations in the city and land situated around so much history and mystery.

Please lift up in prayer the people of Poland, who are obviously searching, but have been helplessly sidetracked down a dead-end road.

Also- please bless the Name of the LORD. Praise Him today, because He is faithful. He has blessed my time and answered the prayers of His people. I’m living this day so thankful.

Last time from Poland,
Caroline

Where do I begin? I feel like I barely got started explaining stories and a whole new bunch fills my spirit. Today was bittersweet. I experienced a Polish Protestant worship service, which took place in a vacant room of a youth center. I cannot explain how different this was – it could have been a couple families gathering for a bible study, so different than the magnificent Catholic structures here and the modern masterpieces back home. I watched the communion, given with one glass and crackers and thought about all the churches that have been torn apart by arguments over how often to have communion. Yet, this little church stands, a beacon of light among a confused people, humbling remembering our Savior. I guess I was struck by the irony and simplicity of it.

Another blessing of the church service was that people from camp came! One family, who I adored, came from an hour and a half away. Their daughter and I became very close during camp and she is a believer, but her family does not go to church, nor does anyone in her village of 800. So, for them to come to a Protestant church was so touching. There were others too, and the Lord blessed us with this one last meeting.

We explored the Ryneck, Main Market area in Old Town. It was so much to take in – I kept going in circles and finding new things to watch, admire, and smile at. I set off on my own determined to master some of the streets and had wonderful excursions, but always found my way back to the square. We went to Wawel Castle and I had to make sure my mouth didn’t just drop constantly. How beautiful – and what history! To think of who walked there so long before me was crazy. This was the third castle I have seen so far. I went to Slovakia with some of the people from the camp one afternoon last week. And we also took a field trip as a camp to a famous castle in Poland. Both experiences were amazing and I don’t have enough pictures to capture how beautiful everything was.

Okay, the bitter mostly came when I had to say goodbye to my new, wonderful friend Ania. I miss her already. This past week has been like a lovely story – we shared bits of our hearts and spirits. She taught me Polish, slowly, VERY slowly. But she was so patient and always encouraging my efforts. More and more I have a desire to learn to speak this language. I want to tell people my heart in a way that speaks to their heart. I never, ever expected such a friendship to come from this. Of course, in my idealistic mind, I am planning a trip already to return and renew these relationships, maybe with a little more Polish. When I said goodbye, it was kind of unreal, like I would meet back up with her later on… but after she left I just set off walking and let the tears go.

How does that happen? God made us such vulnerable people, whether we admit it or fight it, we just are. And, no matter how hard I fought, I couldn’t win against the prevailing love that Jesus put in me to share. Anyway, with that said, I don’t know how to explain my growing awareness and desire to know about this place. Is it because it’s the only place I’ve ever been? Maybe. Or is it God’s leading? I’ll let the Lord direct that one.

I have arranged to meet with some people here, in Krakow this week, but tomorrow I am headed to Auschwitz.

Hmm. I’ve been saying this a lot, but words escape me (I know, not apparent from the above). I have been thinking so much and English doesn’t fit. So, I guess with that I’ll end.

Blessings.
Caroline

No, not a wedding ring… my grandfather’s would be worried if I came home with a wedding ring from Poland, not to mention my father.

Anyway. I am now at the hostel in Krakow – it is such a nice facility! I have my own room and it is maybe the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I can see now why people set up camp in hostels for awhile – they are quite endearing. With that said…

Today was the day of leaving… the goodbyes, tears, sad faces. I can’t begin to explain what an impact this week has made. With each day, i just asked, “God, is there really THIS much more of you?” Each person, story, and smile held something so special because I saw the mystery of His creation a bit more fully.

We just had a kind-of “de-briefing” session for our group here at the hostel (good thing, huh Al?). And we talked about what characteristics of God we saw more clearly. I realized so many things about who God is because I got to know more of His creation. The people here are easy to love, but hard to leave. I saw that, though we are different, we are people just the same and we all need Jesus and redemption every day.

I had some experiences that have forced me to look more introspectively at my life… I’ll try to share some stories:
When we ate meals, we would go into the cafeteria and scramble for seats. Many families ate together, but there was often one or two seats open at tables. I became accustomed to sitting with new people. There were few Polish people at the camp who could speak English really well, so dinner conversation was a bit halting. .. I admire them so much for struggling with English to include me in the conversation. As the days went on, it was less important to me that they speak in English. Polish is a beautiful language, albeit one of the most difficult things I’ve ever attempted, and I was more willing to just listen to their conversations. I realized that I tend to talk to cover up my own insecurities or attract attention – both of these things are impossible when I cannot speak the language. There is SO much more I could say about this!

Another lesson in language is God’s ability to overcome my own shortcomings. I love children – their thirst for adventure and that bit of mischief in their eyes. Well, Polish children are incredible… Most could speak only broken English, and some none at all. There was one little girl, Ula, who I connected with right away. she knew absolutely not a word of English, but we had the most amazing time all week playing, laughing, dancing, singing. I praise God for these moments when I understand that His language is above any words i could say.

the REALLY joyful news is that yesterday… I wish I could tell it all, but time is running short. Yesterday, Beata, a young girl in the teen conversation class, came to me and wanted to talk. The only problem was, she spoke very little English and our communication had consisted of smiling and my trying to learn Polish words. Well, she looked pretty emotional and we ended up in my room. I tried to figure out what was wrong and finally I asked her if it was about Jesus and she nodded. I kept trying to get somewhere, but she could not understand me. There was almost literally a wall in between us, even though I started to realize what she wanted to do – no matter how emotionally attached I became, nothing else could happen. I ran out to the hallway and asked someone for a translator, and five minutes later Agnieszka came. I slowly found out about Beata’s life, her struggles, and her desire to belong. I told her, through Aga, that when we are part of God’s family we belong to Him! I cannot express how humbling it was to be completely dependent on someone else for this process. I can truly say it was nothing I did, but God that pulled Beata to Himself, and allowed her to understand and trust Him as her Savior. Praise the LORD. Rejoice in the work He has done.

And lastly, the ring. Real quick: I have met a beautiful woman and her name is Ania. She is 19 and I think I already wrote about her. She speaks English well enough for us to connect and we’ve become great friends, sharing and encouraging each other all week. I can’t explain how fast our friendship came, but I am so grateful for her smiling face and wonderful spirit. Last night, she gave me a ring to match one she also had. I was completely blessed by the gift. my heart is so full of love for the people here!

Rejoice and again I say REJOICE!

from Krakow with love,
Caroline

So, I am here again writing – very quickly as I need to get back. But, I wanted to write while the feelings were still fresh. My heart is broken for the beautiful people that live in this land. Everywhere I look I see picturesque beauty, but the people are even more wonderful. Last night we had a campfire and I could feel the Holy Spirit in the place. But, Polish Catholicism is so strange! I still do not understand it, even though Gubi and Ania tried to explain it to me.

I am struggling with communication – there are so many things I want to say. I have learned to be silent – out of necessity… but the Lord has used this to make me understand how to listen – even when words don’t make sense.

I have no more time, but have so much more to say.

I will write again when I get to Krakow. God Bless and keep yoU!

Karolina

Wow.

My time here has been amazing so far. The people are so easy to love and have so many stories to share. I have made many, many friends with children, adults, and a college student, Ania. Even if the friendship is broken English with many hand signs, it is wonderful all the same. THe children have taken to teaching me Polish and I am learning – very slowly, but it makes them laugh.

It is too beautiful to describe. I went to a castle with some of the students a couple days ago – it was almost 400 years old. Can you imagine?

Tomorrow the camp is taking a field trip to another castle and waterfall…to practice English, of course! The teaching is going well, even if I was uncomfortable at first. God has used the team in many ways – how wonderful that I can be a part of this! I have so many more stories, but I have to catch the bus back to Beskid and can’t be late.

OH! ANd the Lord provided a place for me to stay in Cracow for four days! Praise God it is free and in a good place!

Please pray for open hearts as we try to show these beautiful people the difference between salvation as a free gift and doing good works.

i must go!

I’m sitting in a coffeeshop in Main Street Holland, where street performers, walkers, consumers, and just about anyone comes to enjoy the summer night air. I just got back from a stellar weekend with family in Iowa. A little north of my roots, but the weekend on the lake did far more good than I expected. There’s something about being around people who love so intensely.

Well, I took it to the max with kayaking, boating, tubing, wakeboarding, waverunning, biking, walking, you NAME IT. I didn’t want to stop because it was all my built up hunger for the outdoors at once. Well, it wasn’t so cool when I got a cold, bruises, and cramps from my over-exertion but I could tell you it was certainly worth it!:)

I’m chipping away at my English lessons for the upcoming Poland mission trip. Ever so slowly, but my anticipation is building! The closer it gets the stronger my prayer becomes “Lord, whatever brings you glory!”

I’m reading two books right now – Thr3e by Ted Dekker and The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis. Both are hitting me in different ways. I can’t get through Dekker’s fast enough – you know how novels go. But, that Clive Staples. I wish I could just sit next to him for a bit. I think wisdom would just seep out from his suit with the lingering smell of cigar and paper. I guess I’ll have to write about both of those later, because right now what’sw on my mind is 2 Samuel.
I’ve been working my way through the Old Testament and am unmistakably aware of God’s providence in giving us His Word completely – Old and New both.

I was talking to my mom about 2 Samuel 7 and she immediately volunteered me to share it with the fam at our own little church service last Sunday. I told her the day before that I could have a 3 or 5 part sermon on it, but she said 5 minutes, so I know I fell dreadfully short of doing the passage justice. God promised David that He will always be with him and his name will be great. God promised to always have a place for David’s people and rest from oppression. He also promised to establish a house for David, raising up his offspring and establishing his kingdom. He promised to never take away his love…. and there’s so much more! Read it in vs. 1-16.

The promises are amazing, almost absurd as David’s reply shows. God would make such promises to a man?

David says WHO AM I, LORD? and what is my family? He wonders out loud why God would choose him to speak to in such an unusual and intimate way.
The verses that follow show David’s gratefulness for these promises and his desire to turn it around So that the Lord would be glorified by blessing David’s house.

Isn’t that our task? To take these absolutely (absurd, really)amazing blessings and turn them back to God so that His name would be great and praised all over the earth. Bless the Lord! David gives God all the praise in verse 22. To GOD be the glory, for David knows that it is nothing he has done, but out of grace that God has chosen.

David gives us an example of how we are to know and believe God’s promises. How are we to live into the promises in the Word if we do not know them? A missionary once said – go ahead and challenge God to fulfill his promises! He wants to bless his children as he promised, but do we not need to know what they are and have bold faith, then that He IS faithful?

Inheritance – oh how great and undeserved David’s inheritance. Did he live to see the temple built? No, but his family and offspring lived on and Solomon brought the Lord’s promise to light and David basked in the Lord’s eternal glory in the most brilliant inheritance of all.

And praise God for his grace to include us, even today in such a bright, undeserved inheritance! We are part of that kingdom that lasts forever!

And who am I? I am a brilliant star glittering only in the reflection of a most brilliant Sun.

Praise the Lord. Bless His Name.

I feel as though my summer has only started, but one look at a calendar says it all – it’s over half way done!

I haven’t written in awhile, so I’ll first write of my mom’s visit. It was wonderful – from beginning to end. We read books and sat on the deck, drank summer drinks like lemonade and raspberry tea, went out to eat, my mom and sister-in-law SURPRISED me at Ruby’s and were wonderful customers!, we went to the beach for a sunset, went on many walks, and I went through a pile that much needed some mom-attention (it included things like loan consolidation papers, next semester plans, internships, newspapers from the National Arabic Festival…). Of course all these things accompanied an abundance of stories from yours truly – a trait I sometimes regret.

Something I have realized about my mom is that try as I might to be drastically different, we think in the same rhymes. The things that frustrate me about myself, well, I can see her getting frustrated over the same. I guess it’s good to know that someone can be so understanding – God surely planned that.

Well, on to our next visitors, merely days apart from each other, but just as welcome! My grandparents were here last weekend and over the 4th. I had anticipated their coming for so, so long! Despite my resentment at having to work on Saturday, God proved that He is good and I was blessed in 3 ways that night: 1. a beautiful family with two sons of the best manners I have ever seen – I made sure to compliment them and they just beamed. .. 2. a family who was wonderful and complimented me on my waitressing skills, and then we started talking and their boys actually went to a lacrosse camp at Northwestern in Evanston and my friend Chelsea was their coach! smile and 3. my grandparents came right to the restaurant from Iowa, fresh off the road and walked in to find their granddaughter positively beaming with love!

We had a most delightful time! Sunday morning we got to eat out at the Curragh, the local Irish pub (except for Sundays when Holland doesn’t allow them to sell liquor) that puts on a traditional Irish breakfast every Sunday, complete with live music. The music was wonderful and our conversation great. Gramps went right to work with Sam, deconstructing some ill carpentry job in the garage, while Gram and I tended to flowers, took walks and read books. On Monday we decided to go the beach, just here and I, but we happened upon a fireworks show…so the rest of the fam came and we all enjoyed the display, which is by far the closest I’ve ever been to fireworks. At times I thought they would fall into my lap.

I took Gram to Windmill Island, which came highly recommended by the mum. I felt like less of a tourist, it being my second time in weeks, and wondered if the people recognized me.:) Then on Tuesday afternoon we took a newly acquired canoe and headed to a lake for fishing and relaxing.

I had to work Tuesday night, so I had to fend off the bitter bug that was creeping toward the end of my shift. The day had been so wonderful, and then, 5 minutes before I was supposed to get cut, someone sat a family in my section, which meant another 30-40 minutes. I guess I realized the real point of anger. I tried to keep up my attitude, but inside I was just mad. But what is being mad if no one knows about it? Right, I mean think of a time when you were really mad about something. But if you don’t tell anyone then what’s the point of being mad – no one can give you a reaction and my silent anger was never going to reach the person who sat me, so I gave up.

I, of course, relayed this to my grandparents who laughed and said much wiser things.

Skipping to the present, last night I had my first wine and cheese. Well, I guess I’ve had wine before, but it’s never been pleasant, or tasty, or anything that I expected it to be when I thought I would someday be “one of those types who just has a glass of wine with dinner.” I never thought I wouldn’t actually like the taste. And, of course, to acquire the taste, you have to actually drink it often, which doesn’t fit into my budget or taste. So, back to last night. I was meeting up with a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile and she had wine and cheese set out .. and this was the cheese that comes in the waxy cover. Well, it was Merlot and I didn’t enjoy it again, but I pretended and finished the glass she poured me with a slice of cheese.
I’m going to have to work on something that seems just as elegant without tasting so bitter.

just a list of randoms:
-I’m going to start a book list, so I can try to keep track of all the books I’ve read and how good they’ve been…don’t know how soon this will happen.
-I love biking. love it. I biked about 10 miles a couple days ago and it was so great – especially by the water. but I don’t think you get respect as a biker unless you have tight clothes and a helmet. My friend says I need a road bike with special pedals, but I just say it’s the attire.
-Family reunion next weekend and I CAN’T HARDLY WAIT!! Of all the memories of my childhood, family reunions hit top and always bring smiles.
-The farmer’s market here in Holland rivals one of my favorite things about summer. I go every Saturday and took gram and gramps on Wednesday. All the people, vendors, freshness, and the street performers – I want to see and buy everything every time… especially because blueberries and raspberries are ripe!
-I’m trying to grasp that I am a senior in college. Everyone who’s been there says, “It only gets better… ” With a sigh that makes me think graduation can stall for awhile.
-POLAND…It’s getting closer and I’m starting to work on my English lessons. I will need so much prayer for this trip!

I guess that’s all for now.

that was just the song in my head… i think the Eagles sing it.

Anyway, so I’ve been thinking about my top ten waitress ‘things I never knew or expected’ and here’s the rundown:

1. Computers are smart – sometimes too smart… with the touch of my fingers someone’s order can be a grilled chicken dinner instead of a grilled chicken wrap. And, of course the description on the screen is GRD CHCK, which is delightfully ambiguous.
2. I learned quickly to never expect anything by way of tips. It’s always so much more exciting to be wonderfully surprised, regardless of percentages. It works out that I don’t do math very well in my head, so percentages aren’t all that important to me anyway.
3. The customer is always different. I don’t think I’ve had two tables that I’ve served alike. I found quickly that I have to gauge my conversation, when I check up on them, how often I ask for refills, etc. Because I’m always surprised by their expectations.
4. Some couples come in to the restaurant just to be around other bodies. They don’t necessarily enjoy the person sitting across from them, which is why their eyes wander to the silent TVs in the corners. So, for these tables, I try to provide extra social interaction, because they’re obviously struggling to create it on their own.
5. I LOVE serving grandparent age people… they are by far my favorite. I really try to wiggle my way into their conversation because they always have some advice, wisdom, or joke they’d love to share. I end up telling them that it’s great to talk, because my grandparents live miles away. Even though they are a bit stingy on tips, I just remember that my gram and gramps used to share a cheeseburger for 25 cents and think, “Golly that waitress was happy to get a nickel!”
6. NEVER let your co-workers know that you frighten easily. I suppose this is not a good idea in any job, but I’ve been in a crowd of wait staff in the kitchen, heard a pan clang and screamed, ducking for cover. Once they caught on I was a goner. I figure it’ll happen at least a couple times every time I work.
7. I have realized the challenge in showing Jesus through my actions at Ruby’s. I see people who are better servers than me, better smilers, better at being happy, quicker, smarter, well better everything. So – I tried to figure out just what it was that could make me different. After meeting a beautiful friend from Texas, I realized that it’s not me that makes me different, but Jesus in me. I started praying on my way to work and God is already giving me joy beyond happiness and open doors to share about Him. WOW!
8. The restaurant crowd is different, but I’ve learned that the crude conversation and behind the swinging door gestures give me no reason to judge. This is another lesson learned from my Texan kindred spirit – I can love them through changes in the conversation, questions about their life, high fives, and crazy dance moves.
9. I’ve gotten used to the deep rose color that creeps up into my cheeks when: I bring out food to the wrong table, bring out the wrong food to the right table, have to run back and ask, “Now, I’m sorry, how did you want your steak cooked?” and apologizing profusely for the long wait on their dinner.
10. I learned that people are people are people. Hmmm, another way to say that I’m encouraged, challenged, sharpened, sad, angry, depressed, and joyful when I spend a night just being around people. I think that’s beautiful.

okay, so I know this isn’t near as funny (if the other one was at all) as the paint crew 🙂

BUT I also have to say that my wonderful mother is here this weekend. We’ve had the most amazing time just hanging out, reading (Just finished Frank Peretti’s The Oath), walking, hiking, beaching, changing my oil (everything’s fine dad), and enjoying each other’s company.

Now if I could just get a hold of my brother William…
well, I’m off to Ruby’s for the lunch shift. grace and peace!

I do like to laugh – here’s some that might make you smile.

So… here’s ten things I never knew before being a painter:
1. It’s not nearly as romantic as it sounds (creamy beige and bone white get a little old after multiple dorms, rooms, and hallways).
2. 6 am, well it’s comes bright and early, which severely tested my resolve to wake up in time to work out before going to paint… okay, it obliterated it.
3. the better days are those that you feel like you’ve accomplished something. The hard ones are when your instructions are to prep, paint, scrutinize, and paint again…. and then look at the wall and think, “Shoot, that still doesn’t look that great.”
4. Painting proves for endless amounts of time to think, talk, and get to know whoever you’re working with. This is both good and bad, mostly good.
5. There are many, many ways one can mess up, like forgetting to paint a door, dropping wet brushes, painting before spackling dries, and asking too many questions. (And, yes, I’ve done all the above.)
6. An essential is definitely a good book. I’ve gone through almost 4 on my breaks. This could also be my demise, because I usually stay up late trying to finish.
7. The social life for the 7-330er who night waitresses is pretty slim. I’m fortunate enough to have a live-in social calendar (in the form of my bro and sister-in-law).. though we keep it pretty low key, we’ve had some great nights concocting drinks, watching movies, and my personal favorite, watching “So, you think you can dance?” which I experienced for the first time last week.
8. There are multiple, crazy amounts of opportunities for me to make a fool out of myself. Whether it is ripping my pants jumping off a ladder, accidentally pulling a fire alarm, or managing to completely paint myself every day, I’ve done it all. My favorite was when another girl on the crew said, “Haven’t you reached your stupid quota for the day?” … all in good fun, of course, but, I can’t escape the blonde title that constantly chases me (regardless of my endless efforts at being deep, about my wits, and completely in control)
9. I’ve learned to appreciate the sunshine and beautiful weather through windows and walking between buildings. It is very much just as radiant in short glimpses and I always remember to take deep breaths, so that…
10. Moments later when I am nearly choking from fumes I can remember and enjoy the outdoors.

Bonus: Spackle. I never really knew the wonder of it. It’s basically like a wall in putty form. You just put it on the hole and smear it over so that it bulges over the hole. It settles and dries and then you sand it, paint it, and it’s back to being a solid wall. How crazy!

Okay, so maybe they aren’t truly funny, but I tried 🙂 and it gives a little picture of the paint crew here at Hope.

I can think of so many more for waitressing, but those will have to come later. I just worked five days straight at Ruby Tuesday’s, and I pack tomorrow for a very special conference. I would love your prayers over me as we are going to be doing some friendship evangelism and just hanging out with some wonderful people.

Blessings to you all!