Tag: John Piper

more Jesus, less caroline

Today blusters. The wind rushes the trees and picks up crunchy leaves from ground that should be covered in snow. Wednesday is my morning for study and I’m glad I’m sitting by a window. When the books press my brain and my journal scrawls make no sense, I just look out the window and breathe in the gray of this day.

I have rough days every once in awhile – days where it’s hard to smile and a labor to laugh.  Last week, I had one of those days. A friend sent a text to see if I wanted to hang out and my response was, “Rough day. Sad. Need more Jesus.” She was sweet, even if I wasn’t making perfect sense.

Today is looking way less rough and way more beautiful, but I still need more Jesus. It’s so funny how I work hard to cheat myself out of joy. I fill up my day and scrunch all sorts of non-sense into spare minutes so that there is nothing left. I read and think and write and dance and laugh and sing and sound my barbaric yawp in the quiet community parks. …And I work hard to make more space for me and little space for Jesus.

By 9 am, I’ve sealed my fate: life abundant is aiming a little too high. There is just too much caroline going on to be distracted by Jesus.

Oh, man.
Jesus had something else in mind for my days. Something magnificent and unexplainable and bigger than minutes and bigger than the wind outside this window.

Jesus said he came to bring life and life abundant (John 10:10). The only way abundance is going to fit in my day is if I become less. The silly madness of it all is that my searching, loving, and longing for Jesus will mean the best and most JOY – not less. Though I pack my days (good and bad) with other things, only more Jesus can make my life overflow with a joy that seeps into the corners of my sadness and twirls in the spontaneity of surprises. Only more Jesus will make sense of my brokenness and the world’s failures. Only more Jesus will lift my spirit above catty gossip and exchange it for words of blessing. Only more Jesus.

I’m praying this will be a Romans 15:13 kind of day.

Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy.”

A day FILLED with ALL joy and peace, trusting in the Lord, OVERFLOWING with hope by the power of the Holy.

God LOVES so completely, so PERFECTLY, so winsomely. The wind blows and shakes the trees and I think…
How could I not want more in response?

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 0

Kyrie Eleison

In Greek, the phrase means, “Lord, have mercy.”

What catches my breath in my throat is how beautiful the phrase sounds. I remember singing it in high school for Honor Choir or All State auditions, I’m not sure which. I am sure I was drawn in by the mystery of its beauty and its tragedy … but not understanding why.

Today, the mystery wound itself around my heart’s cry for my students. As I sat at the mechanic shop (praise the Lord my severely overheated car only needed a simple little tube that cost 2 dozen eggs and some change!) reading Think by John Piper, I thought about how we are called to be both like children (Matthew 18:3), but not children at all (1 Corinthians 14:20).

I can think of many times I’ve been accused of being excessively childish and an almost equally amount of times I’ve been accused of being too serious. And, um, the accusations are often true. The pros and cons of this see-saw are something only the Lord can measure out. But, I’m not going to give up that easy.

I love that the God of all the universe suggests we become like children… completely dependent for every need and completely abandoned to all kinds of joy; completely honest about doubts and completely transparent about fear. We need Him just as desperately for joy as we do for our bread and I think He delights equally to give them.

I love that when Zaccheus heard Jesus was coming to town, he lost all sense of shame or fear and scurried right on up that Sycamore tree. And oh how I love Jesus when he gives Zaccheus (see this sermon by George Whitefield) the invitation to come down … and to please host him (Jesus) at his house for a celebration! Zaccheus abandoned all pride and position just to glimpse the Man with the power to give him a place in eternity.

Can you believe it? God didn’t move Zaccheus to walk stoically up an aisle at an altar call and calmly confess by repeating a mechanical prayer. God moved in Zaccheus and the little guy couldn’t reach for the branches fast enough. He desperately wanted to see Jesus and nothing else mattered. Only a child would act like that. And I love that Jesus loved it.

On the other/same hand (I refuse to think these things are actually separate), Paul cautions the church in Corinth to not be children “in your thinking.” We are to be infants in regard to evil, but mature in our thinking. It is much easier to do the opposite – mature about evil and infants in our thinking. We are not called to be infants about everything… just evil. The act of thinking will bring us into maturity, just like a child who learns to walk or start mumbling phrases. Those lessons require thinking. Sometimes we get so concerned about being “relevant” that we start to be mature about the evil in the world. I can’t say I know what it means to be innocent of evil (Romans 16:19) and wise about what is good, but I think it has a lot to do with Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

As we actively think on these things, in the pursuit of Scripture and its application in our lives, the evil things of our dark world becomes less appealing, while the wisdom about living in the darkness makes our light shine like a million suns.

It’s getting late and I should wrap this up.

Basically, when my heart cries out Kyrie Eleison today, I am saying, “Lord, have mercy on me when I am mature about evil and innocent about good. And, Lord have mercy on my students as they choose what to think on, be wise about, and be innocent of. Oh, Lord please have mercy!”

What better place to learn about this desperate plea than through music… through the beautiful voice of a child. Here’s a young English boy singing Kyrie recorded live in Dublin with a full choir and orchestra. Also this article from the Gospel Coalition, “Ordinary Evil and the Factory that Made Corpses” has provoked some thoughts on what it is to be innocent of evil, or completely mixed up in it.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 0

Out of Your Heart… and little steps

Churchill College Chapel - TtV of the John Pip...
Image by dumbledad via Flickr

This past weekend we had a teachers’ retreat at a lake a few hours from the city. I split my time between staffing the snack shop, playing a few rousing card games, climbing trees, playing soccer, and taking one somewhat risky solitary run through a field and up a small mountain. Most of these activities involved much prayer, but I’m thankful for that, too.

I came back less refreshed, but very ready to tackle this week of pre-mission trip planning. Sunday night after a bit of baking, I tried to settle in to watch a sermon, but your bed is no place to take serious notes and stretch your mind. So, Monday morning I finally finished this sermon by John Piper. I’ve heard and said, “Come to Jesus” many times without grasping exactly what it means.

This sermon works through John 7:25-39 and examines that very question – what does it mean when Jesus gives this invitation: “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’”

I love this breakdown. It is so beautiful to try to understand why we thirst and why the person of Christ is exactly and only what will satisfy. Beyond satisfaction, RIVERS wil flow from us… rivers of living water! It’s Tuesday night and I still can’t get over it.

Well, yesterday afternoon I felt a bit of the living water flooding my living room, as the mission trip gathered to pound out some last minute details. I am continually blessed by the hearts and minds of these students. “Little steps,” they tell me, “Miss, you can’t expect us to change all sudden, but little steps.” It takes everything in me to keep from wrapping them in a crazy hug and singing one of the uber-embarrassing songs my mom would throw my way whenever she was proud. Because, friends, if you could see these little steps they are taking your heart would SWELL.

Today, the students spoke in chapel in front of their peers and I am still praising God for their courage. These “little steps,” they may not realize are HUGE leaps for the faith they have hidden deep in their hearts! These “little steps” are how they wear resolve so beautifully when classmates give them trouble for being involved in something so obviously, “Christian.” After our devotional on Monday (more on that in tomorrow morning’s post), I can now ask them, “Is it worth it? Is what you are doing worth those little comments?”

I wish you could look in their faces to see their response, “There’s no question, Miss.”

I believe God is working and He is gracious enough to give me reminders of His sovereignty and His mighty hand. I am humbled, humbled, humbled to be a part of this process!

Tonight, with a cake stashed in the fridge and cookies all packaged, I am literally on my floor in my bedroom typing this out and I can’t tell you why. I just know that daily God is calling me to

let LOVE fly like cRaZy!

Posted on by Caroline 0

pride is a big, fat thief

Sunday, I posted the song by Thad Cockrell called, “Pride won’t get us where we’re going” and I love this line,

When I lose my vision, will you lend me your eyes… to see exactly where I need to be.

It must be something… this pride. I want to make cute jokes about it, but the reality is it’s ugly. I’ve been thinking a lot about all the ways pride is like a thief. Without regard to the damage, pride steals our friendships, our families, our minds, and our affections… and then destroys everything completely.

This is an idea that’s been making a tortured trek around the hamster wheel in my brain recently. Maybe it was learning Sunday night that the brother of one of the Micah boys (and only sibling) was stabbed and killed, or maybe it was the re-introduction to one of my favorite soul-destroying films “Dancer in the Dark” or maybe it was a handful of conversations about the downward spiral of affluent youth worldwide… I’m sure of this:

the tragedies don’t stop.

I’m always trying to make some sense of things and so could I just process what has seemed to settle in my gut? I’ll take that as a yes. Bear with me… these ideas are not completely formulated.

On whatever end (or middle) of the socio-economic spectrum we find ourselves, I am starting to think what makes a person most desperate is certainly the same. We all know the feelings of humility, shame, and fear.

Unfortunately, the most ready weapon is itself destructive: pride. As John Piper‘s sermon was still marinading today in my mind, I thought about the two different groups who found themselves stuck in unbelief in John 7:1-24.

  • Jesus’ own brothers asked Him to go up to a party and present Himself in all His glory, with pomp and circumstance. They wanted a parade – someone they could walk behind and maybe stand a bit in the shadow of His glory. What they didn’t believe was that He was bigger than an entrance at a party or the praise of men.
  • The Jews didn’t believe in Him because His presence indicted them. Their lives were brought to account in His presence. Every righteous act felt less right in the presence of One who could do no wrong.

Both, Piper said, were blinded by pride (and, as a result, unbelief). I guess I’m just wondering how many sins we can really trace back to the root of pride.

  • I think of a recent conversation with students about 12-year-old pop singers with near-adult material with eyes ‘innocently’ set on a crash course toward success.
  • I think of the young girls here who are married at 12 years old to 20 or 30somethings who have very little understanding of love.
  • I think of the constant worry involved in “future plans,” lest a student or adult choose a less comfortable path.
  • I think of the person who is completely unaware of the layers of life surrounding him because he is so deeply involved in what he will do next.

Well, folks, we’ve plumb lost our vision. And I seriously think we’re seeing the results of our unbelief. We are proud – so proud – that we want Jesus around for His fame and VIP pass, but we don’t believe His presence can save us. We are proud – too proud – to admit that His deferring way of pointing to the glory of God is to us a lifeline, not a noose.

Instead, we’ve chained ourselves to the world’s ugliest attractions in hopes that we will find both significance and righteousness. God help us!

Pride is a dirty, devious thing. I suppose that’s better reason than any to

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 2

joyful readiness

Here is a combination of things (or is it more of a process of things) that will bring joy to my soul, without fail.

students learning/loving God’s Word –> responding to spiritual/physical needs around them –> bridging cultural gaps by one great need of a Savior –> God is glorified and we are satisfied

I’m not sure if this process/combination makes sense to you, but my heart understands completely! Coming up on March 6-13, eight of my students will embark on a mission trip to a nearby community. We have been preparing through Bible study, prayer, testimonies, and many organizational details. I keep hearing this beautiful phrase, “Miss, I want to be different and make a difference.” Every time a student says some version of this declaration I get a little more excited about what God is doing in their lives. He is moving in marvelous and mysterious ways to bring glory to His name and true, deep satisfaction to His servants.

Please join with me in prayer for these students as we prepare for this mission trip. Below they have written their prayer requests and I would love if you prayed for them by name. We are also relying on God for financial provision in this endeavor, so please pray we will believe in His faithfulness.

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I love this quote from John Piper, “To be humble is to be a servant. They are not the same. But humility leads to joyful readiness to do lowly service.” I hope and pray that we will enter into service with this kind of joyful readiness!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 0

back from hiatus

That’s right. I took a hiatus – an “interruption in the intensity or amount of something” – from the blog. I know this means I did everything wrong in the eyes of the up-and-coming blogger. Consistency is key! Well, feeling real life on my fingers was key for the past four days and maybe you’ll just take my word for it.

In the case that you’d rather read a few words, I’ll indulge you with some snippets. In short, I get overwhelmed sometimes. I looked up the definition for overwhelmed, because I love words, and 1, 2b, 3, and 4 seem appropriate.

o·ver·whelm  (vr-hwlm, -wlm)tr.v. o·ver·whelmed, o·ver·whelm·ing, o·ver·whelms
1. To surge over and submerge; engulf
2.a. To defeat completely and decisively
b. To affect deeply in mind or emotion
3. To present with an excessive amount
4. To turn over; upset

Before my mom starts to worry about an impending nervous breakdown, I don’t think “submerged, affected deeply, presented with an excessive amount of something, and turned over” are altogether negative things.

It’s just too much.

Well, here are the snippets, anyway. Some are good and joyful and some are sad and painful. Maybe you can take all the overwhelming pieces and make sense of them.

  • My light bulb in my room is burnt out and I don’t seem to have the right multi-tool (which I was convinced could fix anything) to unscrew my complicated ceiling light), so I have been crafting for the last few days on my floor with the light of my computer and a desk lamp. I’m a little worried about the following: the color combos I am coming up with, my failing eyesight, the way I insist on spreading everything out around me and then bending over it for hours.
  • Watercolor. It’s amazing! Where has it been all my life?
  • The Christmas decorations have now been up in Tegucigalpa for a good, long month. Christmas songs are streaming out every speaker and you won’t find me a bit disturbed. Whoever made the rule that Christmas can’t start until after thanksgiving obviously never considered that, “Come, let us adore Him” is a year-round invitation!
  • I want to write. Sometimes I want to write ideas and notions so badly that I can’t touch a keyboard for fear I won’t do the idea justice. Words are so weighty. They are heavy and cumbersome and I love them. I wish I could find the space to fit the bulky words that have taken up residence in my soul. I’d love to park them somewhere nice.
  • We are in the final stretch for our Operation Christmas Box. We’re doing our own version of Christmas in a shoebox for the beautiful children of Amor y Fe y Esperanza. I’m so PUMPED!
  • I’ve got chocolate glazed pumpkin cookies cooling in the kitchen and 31 amazing seniors to deliver to tomorrow. Yep – THIRTY ONE seniors brought their Bibles to chapel today. My prayer is that the Word would be ALIVE to them. I watched and then chewed through this message by John Piper on Sunday, “Holding Fast the Word of Life” and I want more than anything that we would hold fast to the words spoken by the Creator of the Universe! “He is the Vesuvius of joy” and we turn our heads and say it is boring. Ouch.
    Here is an excerpt:
  • I hate sin. I mean I really hate it. I know this isn’t a surprise, but this week it was closer, raw, and ugly. I hate sin that causes families to break up and the sin that causes sons and daughters to hurt and the sin that leads girls to believe lies and the sin that prevents me from being at all useful. I hate it.
  • I’m still mulling over ideas about art and beauty. This is certainly one of the topics in which I’d gladly submerge myself, but I can never quite put the pieces together to write about it.
    I love this quote from contemporary artist Makoto Fujimura about art and culture,”We have a language that celebrates waywardness – but we do not have a language to bring people back home.” That’s kind of “it” in a nutshell, I guess.
  • Another thing I don’t mind being submerged in is God’s promises. Whenever I’m faced with hardship or a tough conference or the gnarly sin sneaking in to steal joy all over the place, I remember. I remember God is sovereign. He is good. His plans are never thwarted. Yep, I’d like to be daily “presented with an excessive amount” of His complete sovereignty.
  • Guess, what? THANKSGIVING is this week! I’m super-duper pumped to throw my thanks everywhere. I’m planning a Thanksgiving dinner this Friday for my senior ladies, which will involve a monstrous amount of baking. I’m also super pumped to set up our own version of a drive-in movie in someone’s backyard.
  • Last, but not least… tomorrow is the first-ever pep rally led by the first-ever pep squad coached by first-ever coach (you guessed it) me. I’m pretty sure this is the first time in history that someone is trying to calm high school nerves about a high school event at the ripe old age of 26! I almost couldn’t sleep last night, because I’m just sure the girls are going to get out there (they have absolutely no idea what they are doing) and then run off and I’ll be left to animate the crowd with my antics (which are usually reserved for small dinner parties!). Lord, help us!

Well, there it is. A comeback from a hiatus heaped up high with the verb “overwhelm.”

If nothing else, I pray this night finds you

letting LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 4

toda lengua confesará

Churchill College Chapel - TtV of the John Pip...
Image by dumbledad via Flickr

Today, as I walked home from church, a bold, yellow tree blossom painted itself against a cloudy blue sky. The sun was hiding, so I reveled in the splash of color contrasting the browns and grays of the city street.

More reveling is in order today, because one of those “only because God is sovereign and He ordained it so” moments happened. Early this morning, I watched John Piper’s sermon on The Pride of Babel and the Praise of Christ from the (Spectacular Sins and their Global Purpose in the Glory of Christ series).

Then, I went to church and worshipped to the (arguably overused) song “Come, now is the time to worship” and claimed such joy in the lines, “toda lengua confesará que el es Dios, las rodillas se doblarán, y un tesoro eterno tendrás en el, si escoges su amor.” (every tongue will confess that He is God and every knee will bow… the greatest eternal treasure is in Him, if you choose His love)

After hearing a sermon about the great wickedness of the people at Babylon – they wanted the praise of men and the security of a city – God used their great sins of pride and self-preservation to fill the earth with a diversity that would come back to bring glory to Christ. What the people did was evil, but the way God uses it points to His sovereignty and His design for all peoples across all nations and languages and tribes to know and bow at the name of the Lord. There’s more, of course, but you’ll have to listen to the sermon yourself.

Then, my friend Eduardo preached on Jeremiah 29:1-14 and I saw again the broken record of our sin – revealed in Israel’s treatment of Jeremiah’s 23 years of prophecy and warning. They still didn’t obey! But, in Jeremiah 29, God reassures His people that He has not abandoned or forgotten them. He is faithful and His promises are true. Though the people may not live to see it, His promises indeed will be fulfilled. In the meantime, they are to work, live, and add to the culture and community of this city where they are foreigners.

I started to think about our condition on this earth. If we live worrying about God keeping His promises, we will not have the heart or mind to serve as He has called us. If we live only looking for rescue out of a situation, we may miss opportunities to see His power and presence exactly where we are (even if we’re in exile).

So, as I was walking home and spotted that bold yellow bloom on the tree, I thought how brave it is for a bud to bloom – with such a short life ahead. It has only a couple weeks of beauty and then it falls to get trampled on the unforgiving sidewalk. Even creation sings that, though the days may be evil, there is reason to burst into bloom and rejoice – for restoration WILL come!

Our faith should lead to bursting blooms today! Well, I’m off to read the Heidelberg Catechism (which I consider quite fitting on Reformation Day!) and craft awhile. I hope you are going to

let LoVe fly like CRAZY

Posted on by Caroline 0

Monday Madness

WEEKEND fun

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Monday LINKAGE

Enjoy this list of wonderful things (arts, crafts, music, and generally things that have inspired in the past couple days).

  1. Sleeping at Last new music
  2. Slothpop new music
  3. beautiful mess blog
  4. inkismyfavorite blog
  5. Oh Joy blog
  6. Friends of the Challies blog
  7. this sermon by John Piper
  8. paper lanterns
  9. recycled fabrics
  10. Dr. Seahorse new cd you can download for FREE

Yes, folks. My post today is mostly pointing to inspiration instead of giving any, but there are more important matters… like planning for this weekend’s SLEEPOUT event to raise money for the Micah Project and cleaning up after a crazy weekend…. and enjoying many uninterrupted cups of coffee, accompanied by Miike Snow, Joy Williams, and Brooke Fraser.

I guess my stories about changing a car battery, learning to jerk in my living room, and making sushi at 4 am will have to wait for another day very soon!

Posted on by Caroline 2

THINK

When I worked in Austin, Texas, I saw this bumper sticker in the parking lot of the university I worked for:

“Don’t pray in my school and I won’t think in your church”

I realize bumper stickers are often cowardly ways to make big, bold statements, but this one rubbed me the wrong way. I wrote this blog post in reflection.

Now, three years later, I want to add a postscript to that blog post. John Piper has a new book out called, “Think” and it examines the questions so many raise and so few answer. Why do we have a mind? What is the purpose of thinking?

The Desiring God National Conference was actually going on this weekend and focused on just that – using our minds to glorify God, enjoy Him and share Him. I get goosebumps thinking about how our minds are made to glorify our Creator!

I’m off to worship this morning in spirit and in truth… glad for God’s design to engage my thoughts with His thoughts.

I wish I could post this video on the back of my car in bumper sticker form. Better yet, I wish I could live life proving this video true. How about that for a rebuttal?

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!

let LOVE FLY like cRaZY.

Posted on by Caroline 3

What is The Point of “Think” by John Piper?

John Stephen Piper
Image via Wikipedia

My morning perusal of all my favorite twitter friends led me to an article about Piper’s new book “Think.”

After the initial shock of the realization that I needed to add yet ANOTHER Piper book to my list of “to-read,” I am thoroughly excited about the questions confronted in this book and the honest replies that point to Scripture alone.

Madison, WI pastor Zach Nielson posted an excerpt from pages 26-27 that has me wanting to read pages 1-25.

Read it here: What is The Point of “Think” by John Piper?.

Posted on by Caroline 0