Don’t treat me like things of this world
I’m not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve
Is a man that makes me and takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I’m not the one you own
If you don’t, you’ll be alone
And like a ghost I’ll be gone
from “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé
Is it too soon to take this song to task? I hope I don’t ruin it for every wedding and their bouquet tosses. It’s not my intention, I promise.
I want to talk about Buzz Lightyear.
Isn’t that who Beyonce is looking for – all that infinity and beyond business? No, but seriously, who is she talking about?
She prefers.. ahem, deserves a man who makes her and takes her to a destiny, to infinity and beyond.
I don’t know any men like that.
Well, I don’t know any women like that either, though I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard girls say to other girls, “He doesn’t deserve you, honey. You are so much better than that. You deserve someone really great. If anyone deserves someone really great, it’d be you.”
Yes, I’ve heard those exact words spoken from one girl to another in tender moments where one girl is seeking solace and another girl is spreading the salve as thick as she knows how.
Nothing against either girl, I just think it’s unfortunate.
Let’s say a girl is still looking into her late twenties. Let’s say said girl goes in and out of a few relationships that didn’t pan out. Let’s say this girl’s friends constantly tell her, “It’s definitely not you – you’re great…. too great for him. That’s for sure. You need a man who makes you and takes you to a destiny, to infinity and beyond.” Let’s say that said girl starts thinking, “Wait, if I am so great why is this taking so long? Why do so many men think I’m not great enough?”
It sounds silly because it is.
What makes Beyoncé deserve such a man and how did she attain such a status? Are we all “deserving” of these superheroes? If not, who decides who gets a Buzz Lightyear and who gets a Captain Underpants?
I just wonder if we need to take a step back (not so far back that we don’t appreciate her unbelievable talent or dance skills) and ask ourselves if we should be shopping the superhero aisles for the multi-colored spandex suit that best fits our fancy.
I’m gonna go with no.
“In Christianity, the moment we believe, God imputes Christ’s perfect performance to us as if it were our own, and adopts us into His family. In other words, God can say to us just as He once said to Christ, ‘You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
You see, the verdict is in. And now I perform on the basis of the verdict. Because He loves and accepts me, I do not have to do things just to build up my résumé. I do not have to do things to make me look good. I can do things for the joy of doing them.” — p. 40, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller
Good news for everyone!
Good news for all the men who aren’t Buzz Lightyear: the verdict is in. For those who believe in the work of Christ on the cross, God looks at you and says He is pleased.
Good news for all the ladies who aren’t Beyoncé (and think they “deserve” Buzz Lightyear”): the verdict is in. For those who believe in the work of Christ on the cross, God looks at you and says He is pleased.
Without Christ’s work on the cross, ladies are sucked into thinking we need to be the kind of lady who “deserves” a perfect man. Without Christ’s work on the cross, men are sucked into thinking they need to be the perfect man.
Hate to break it to you, Beyoncé, but you no more “deserve” Buzz Lightyear (if he did exist) than I do. And Buzz Lightyear can no more attain perfect performance than anyone outside a Marvel Comic who puts on a suit for Halloween.
I bet you want to see the dance I do when I realize I’m free. It’ll never be a music video that garners awards, but BOY! is it ever fun!