Well, for starters let’s just say that this happened to be the theme of my Thursday. Not in a ‘clear the area here comes a breakdown’ kind of way, but more in a ‘I’m new here and still don’t know very much about work, city, and cigars’ kind of way.

Details aren’t important, but I just learned about the refining process of having many eyes and perspectives examine one’s work before it gets to the place its going.

For the enjoyment of whoever reads this, I will expand on my experience with cigars:).

So it’s only my second night on my own as hostess. I’m starting to feel more comfortable in the powerful pilot seat at Sullivan’s, where my strong influence spans about 10 feet on all sides. I love chatting with customers and playing the part of the refined, well-to-do. It’s really kind of like make-believe when I was a kid. I put on dress-up clothes, polish my manners, stand up straight, and flash a most genuine smile.

Well, last night I was on the closing shift, so my co-pilot left me flying solo at about 8:30. No problem, I’m a clever girl, right? Well, it just so happens that my little station became the social hub (mostly due to the fact that I hold the keys to the cigar cabinet) and all of a sudden many different people were making many different demands.

Cool and collected, I did my best, which I thought turned out pretty well – smoothing over awkward situations that revealed my ignorance by joking or humoring our guests. This worked – until I found out from the girls upstairs that I had sold cigars to some gentlemen who also asked me to cut them… and I cut the wrong end. Yes, that’s right. There are two ends to a cigar, and it’s pretty obvious which end one would smoke out of, but apparently with my focus on smoothing-over my lack of cigarspeak, I completely cut off the wrong end. So, when they went to smoke they were dreadfully confused.
The funny part was that within minutes everyone in the restaurant knew. I am not really one to hide my blunders, so I would start to share and then they’d say, “Oh, you’re the one?”

Hmm. Oh well, I’m back at it again tonight, but hopefully I will get off early. I have a much delayed date with my Bible, Acts, journal, and that beautiful thing called slumber.

Okay, so the past few days have been interesting, to be sure. It’s not that I’ve lost my faith in people, but you can be sure that my welcoming Chicago smile is accompanied by a wary eye. I have to preface this by saying I have never felt unsafe or in danger here – Chicago is a great, safe city. But there are things about cities that are just quite a bit different than the wide open spaces of my childhood.

One of my biggest passions (and don’t be confused – it does get me into trouble sometimes, but it is not a major downfall) is people. I love people – their stories, history, and dreams. I like to come alongside a person and understand how they would feel loved, whether that’s remembering a name or making a point to cross paths routinely. It’s not a big surprise that people like to be appreciated, recognized, and valued. I love to see the light in their eyes when they are.

Well, this passion has brought me into some unique encounters… I just wish they were with women and not older men. When I say older I mean the magazine man at the end of the street who is probably 75… and the man I met under an awning in the rain who was probably in his late sixties. He was a nice sort – business man who was living large on Lakeshore Drive.
I am always very upfront with who (and whose) I am. This guy was a native Chicagoan, so we chatted about the city and I talked about how grateful I was that I had found a faith community. It’s absurd to me that these gentlemen wouldn’t pick up these OBVIOUS clues I lay down. But, Lakeshore man was asking for my number and a pizza/beer get together by the end of 3 minute conversation. WHAT? I just don’t get it. I mean he was nice, but without exchanging numbers I told him we’re sure to run into each other, being from the same neighborhood. The funny thing is – for all of you who say “Of course they talk to you – you’re a sweet, Midwestern blonde with a happy face on!” Well, to you I say that on this particular meeting I was wearing a blue poncho that covered every bit except my face, with my backpack protruding like a hunchback behind me.

I love a delightful conversation… I truly do. I would rather eat soap than pass up someone who wants to tell me about their life. It’s one of those thing that give me energy – after listening and making connections, I feel like my day has purpose. The next time I see George, Chris, or the nameless Italian lady on the bus on the way to work we’ll smile. We recognize each other and I’m instantly encouraged in those little connections. I’ve said this before about Poland, but I sincerely am starting to see Christ’s creative work in the lives of these strangers. In church this past Sunday I learned about the long conversation that the Lord has with His creation. I have no idea what the Lord is doing, how He is pulling or prodding, and how He may be softening a heart. Yet, regardless of where they are, God calls me to the same service: love. Conversation is a way to show and spread love, because people understand the interest and investment it is to let a stranger in.

Now, the slightly scary addition to this story is what happened this morning. I was getting on the subway a little later than usual, because I was going to a program trip instead of work. Everything was normal going through the turnstile and down the stairs. I scanned the crowd gathered to wait for trains and scoped out a spot and waited only a few moments for the train. As I stepped on, I felt pressure behind me (not uncommon when crowding on to the el), but I thought I felt someone inside my purse. I turned around just in time to see the edge of my wallet going under this large man’s coat. Ah! I can’t tell you what went through my mind but all that came out was, “Uh, excuse me?” in a really weak whisper. I’m not even sure that he heard me, but just as the subway doors were about to close, he gave it back. Yeah! First of all, with all my faith in people, I never expected this movie-scene to play out on this Monday morning. Second, I was so disoriented that my reaction wasn’t in the slightest how one would act when your identity is about to be stolen. Third, he gave it back. This is the part that is so confusing to me… he could have easily left and I would’ve done nothing more than stand stunned as the subway pulled away from my little life in the white wallet.

God had already softened that man’s heart before he even took my wallet. That’s the only thing I can figure – God had control over the situation and his unlikely response. Well, I have to process a lot more from everything I’m learning about the Old Testament, relationships, and life. I’ll have to pick up on that later.

Some pics from lovely chicago times

Sorry they are so small – they upload a zillion times faster this way.

working at the opportunity intern desk

yep… this is where it all happens. Okay, so the intern desk isn’t the hub of action around the office, but it’s where I get things done. You can be sure there is always a piece of fruit and a cup o’ joe to decorate the desk, but other than that it’s pretty sparse. I think I’m afraid if I get too comfortable I’ll be very disoriented when I realize that it’s not really “my” desk, but actually the “intern” desk and it’ll see many more faces. Oh well, I love what I do.

Here are just a few of the images that remind me of a friendship that struck so deep and true in such a very short time. I miss her tremendously and wish that it wasn’t so hard to communicate across languages and things like oceans.

As you can see, we bonded… God’s love is so strong that it can break anything we know – He can transcend what I accept as real and bless beyond imagination.
The rings are especially important, because Ania gave me this ring and bought one for herself to match. The instructions were to never take it off and it has been such a joy to look down and remember her sweet, smiling face! She is in my prayers and always in my heart… her dreams are higher than the sky and being with her made me want to soar.

OK, I thought I should devote at least one entry to some of the funnier things that have happened since my move to the Windy City. To be sure, there are more than I can write, but just to show the not-so-glamorous or professional (and sadly typical) Caroline moments, I thought a few were appropriate.

necklace strangle
Well, anyone who moves to an urban area will tell you that you are slightly more aware of fashion. Sure, I was always interested, but it’s harder to branch out into what some may call “your own style” when you feel a bit stifled by trends. I was never a trend-setter or a trend-follower, but moving to the city I think I got excited about being a little more creative.
With that said, I’ve been utilizing accessories. For 1, they can be worn a lot and with many different outfits, which makes the cost-per-wear so wonderfully low! And for 2, it’s a good way to test out your creative boundaries without walking the fashion plank in the first weeks of arrival. One of said accessories is a necklace with all sorts of colors that I picked up at H&M last Spring Break. (this is the good part)
I wore it out with a stellar outfit one Sunday night to enjoy the sweet sounds of Jazz playing from Grant Park. At the request of my friends, I was made to show my one and only hardly qualifying “break dance move” (which is just a creative way to put my feet up in the air). I wrapped my necklace around one more time to keep it out of my face and all was well…. Until I got home and wanted to take it off. I could NOT untangle the necklace and after struggling for a good 20 minutes, relented and slept with the darn thing on. .. THEN, the next morning I still could not remove it and decided if it wasn’t coming off it wasn’t keeping me in, so I dressed for the day and came back late morning, when I pleaded with my roomie to help me. She couldn’t get it… and I thought I would be stuck forever. Completely unsatisfied with my claustrophobia-inducing fate, I was determined to get it off. Now is when the light bulbs start flashing… I simply undid one of the connecting chains. Yep, that’s all she took.

(Wow. that was way too dramatic, I’ll have to tone it down!)
clothing malfunction
Continuing with the clothes theme, this story is quite a bit more embarassing, but I can venture to say it was part of God’s plan. So, maybe some know of my duress in finding employment when I arrived here weeks ago. This was not due to my lack of persistence, though. One day after I realized that Starbucks just really didn’t want me, I ventured out to pick up applications at Chipotle, Barnes and Noble, and Corner Bakery. I had showered and I was ready to impress from the start… who knew, maybe they would offer me the job on the spot. Anything is possible and I was in good spirits. So, I went to the first two places and thought their faces seemed a little blank, but so goes the life of the working, right? Nothing too odd, so I kept my spirits up and ventured to the last place, where I decided the job search needed a coffee. I asked for an application and ordered a plain, old coffee. I went over to sit down and felt a sudden urge to look down. Sure enough, my fly was wide open. You’ve got it folks, my zipper had never been at the top of my pants that day – of all days. But, that’s not all – no that would be too simple and lacking the horror I felt when, as I left, my hand went to my right ear. I felt for my earring, which should have been there, but found nothing. Hmm… Darn earrings, I thought I’d lost one and looked like a fool at this place. No, actually I felt the other ear and found that I had put both earrings in the same hole!! The very same! Oh, this was quite a day. I laughed and hoped that those people laughed, too. Because that was sure funny. .. Oh and the God’s will part came when I realized I wasn’t SUPPOSED to have any of those jobs. I was supposed to meet a friend named Jenna who would encourage me to apply at Sullivan’s where I got a JOB and love!

Because for some reason I decided to make these cute little novellas, I’ll stick to just one more:)
coffee with women and bathroom blackout
So, in order to tell this one I’ve got to give some bonus background. First – to God be the glory for how He works, reveals, and blesses. What a mighty, mighty God!! So, last Sunday I decided that I wanted to start serving at church. I know it was only my 3rd time there, but I can’t waste any time -I’ve only got 3 months! So, I went at about 8:30 and the service started at 9. My rationale was – I’ll just look around and hope that someone will need some help. Well, when I got there I froze. Everyone was running around, but they all had purpose. I escaped to the bathroom to regroup and give a mini pep-talk. Fresh from my little girls’ room prayer, I set out to find a place for my hands and heart. I quickly spotted a woman and man unloading some boxes at the book table. Books are always attractive to me, and these people looked like they could use some help. So, I walked up to the woman and said, “Hi. I’m new here – can I help you? I’m looking to serve in some way…” Her face lit up like I was about to give her a Chrstmas present. She went on to say oh how much that would be wonderful and they would love for me to help… Her name is Jenny and she is marvelous – reminds me of my grandma Phyllis. She figured out my story and started introducing me to everyone that walked by. .. in minutes I had about 20 new friends. I ended up sitting with some of her lady friends (they were all older women) and had a blessed, blessed time. After the service I sold my first book … John Piper’s Pleasures of God. THAT was a good feeling! Then the ladies asked me to join them for coffee at the little cafe down the street. Why NOT? I thought. So, I walked there to meet them – JoAnn, Kathy, and Ann (transit Annie they call her because she knows the system so well). I felt like I was back at club with my gram. So… now to the funny part. It was getting towards the end of my second cup of joe and I surely had to go to the bathroom. I found out where it was and had to wait a while for the right time. Then I had to wait for the person inside… so I finally get in and I have to go really bad. It’s tight quarters, but at least I was in… and then there was total darkness. Absolutely pitch black – the lights had gone out! I could not see anything at all and I was stuck. There was no way I was opening the door into the crowded restaurant so I could see. I didn’t know what to do, because the ladies were probably waiting now to leave and I was captive of this dark, small space! I don’t know how, but I somehow managed to get out alive, but man that has NEVER happened to me before!

OKay, enough stories for now!

I have so many I don’t know where to start, so I’ll begin where part of my heart still is: Poland.

These pictures (left to right) are: the place where the camp was held, my friend Ula, my first castle, Piwnicna, and some of the team.

These next pictures are of my English students and then a lake at the base of a beautiful castle.

Apparently this is all my computer can handle right now…so I will add more as soon as I can

I can finally understand my sister’s distress and joy in having visitors to the city! This past weekend, two friends came to stay and hang out in Chi-town. It was wonderful to just spend time with people outside this experience and share some of the few things I’ve come to enjoy about this city.

It was quite interesting, however, to do “host” things without a host budget. We found ways to get around it, though, which made things pretty crazy! I slept on the floor, we scrounged for cheap breakfast foods, did a LOT of walking and window shopping, and went to the restaurant on top of the John Hancock building (instead of going all the way up for $25) and paid the $6 minimum tab in order to enjoy the view and some dessert.

All in all it was a great weekend. Shyle and Lydia were wonderful guests – the easy going kind you wish everyone was – and we made many memories!

I’m back at work right now and about to head out for a conference with my practicum supervisor. My boss is out of the office this week, but I’m working on two different projects that consume all my time and energy… My healthy stock of organizational skills ran dry when I saw the mounds of information I was supposed to compile into an Orientation Package CD. I worked through lunch, so I think this break and reflection is warranted:).

(entirely unrelated… but my thoughts on home)
Sometimes I surprise myself with my ability to adapt to new locations. It seems like nothing phases me – distance, relationships, routine. But, this past weekend I realized how much I missed my friends.
The friends I really miss are the ones that understand silence and smelling the rain. They talk until 3 in the morning because it’s more important than sleeping.
I miss being around someone who knows me and calls me out on my bluffs.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I call “home.” Of course, my beautiful farm in Iowa will always that place, in a way. But, getting closer to graduation, I am thinking about what home might look like after that. Honestly, my mind is completely open as to where God might send me. It seems like my idea of home is oddly fluid – not rooted by location. But one thing I really hope is that wherever my home ends up I will have those kinds of people who understand silence and rain and honesty.

I think God will honor that – He knows me and created me to desire those kinds of relationships. He is the master of orchestrating all those things that I sometimes doubt about life.

And I think that is amazing.

As I am reading, I thought others might be interested. Here is a link to a website completely about microfinancing.

www.microfinancegateway.com

It has mounds of information and has been super helpful. Also make sure to check out Opportunity’s website!

www.opportunity.org

I promise pictures are forthcoming – still of Poland, Chicago, and me at my desk!