Category: anecdotes

one step at a time

When I was somewhere in the range of seven years old, I remember performing in a Psalty musical at my church. Don’t laugh … it was really cool back then. Well, I felt cool to be in it, anyway. Probably because I was so small (and a bit of a troublemaker) I was cast as the girl who got lost in the woods when we went in search for firewood. I’m not sure, but I think the rest of the cast sang this little number when we were lost and they were discouraged. Once you get past the bizarre, over-sized singing songbook, I’m sure you can appreciate how sweet this is!

Then me and my other lost buddy sang this song:

Oh! The memories! I don’t think it’s a coincidence that 16 years later I ended up lost in a cloud forest on top of a mountain in Honduras singing that same song!

La Tigra cloud forest... the sunshine is swell, but being lost at night is a different story!

That right there is proof positive that we store all those childhood lessons somewhere deep in our hearts where we will one day need to retrieve them.

Right now is a 1 Peter 5:7 kind of time and (no matter how silly that man looks dressed like a book) I’m humming this tune as I live believing God is big enough to handle every last one of my cares. Not only that, but He takes my burdens and turns them into blessings. I’m praying something very simple over my students tonight… that they would have this kind of song etched deep in their hearts, so when they go away and get lost they will be able to reach down and find the only place to put their cares.

What an absolutely beautiful thing!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 0

some things for Saturday

Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower) in Chicago...
This is beautiful Chicago, where the Gospel Coalition conference happened this past week.

Last night I either had a really bad, really realistic dream… or I had some serious digestive problems. I won’t go into details (because you can still hope it was a dream) but apparently I got it all figured out in my sleep because I felt better this morning.

Today was my long run day. I say that like I’m on some kind of “plan” or something and I’m not. But, I kind of make up my own “plan” based on what I read on Runner’s World and how much my joints complain. It’s not scientific or anything, but saying it’s a “plan” makes it seem more official. Something I am realizing about 5 miles is that anything before 1 mile never feels awesome. I spend the first mile convincing myself running 5 is a good idea. Luckily, today I had Alistair Begg‘s incredible accent to accompany my steady stride.

I’m listening to all the speakers from the recent Gospel Coalition conference in Chicago you can find all the audio for FREE here but if you wait, I’m sure there will be video as well. I am impatient and convinced I’ll need to hear/see them twice anyway. I LOVE learning because it simultaneously expands my knowledge while giving me the distinct awareness that I know nothing! I know I’m not the only one thrilled about it either… so that makes me feel pretty good.

So, I’ve been listening to Keller, Mohler, Begg, Carson, Piper, and the others who were gathered in Chicago to treasure the Gospel in the Old Testament together. I just wish I could process through some of it … but I know God will provide those conversations in good time.

I have some pretty ambitious goals for books this week – I am almost too scared to write them down for fear I won’t finish. But, I will anyway: Competent to Counsel by Jay E. Adams, A King’s Cross by Tim Keller, revisit Dug Down Deep by Josh Harris, revisit Calvin (A heart for devotion, doctrine, and doxology), and chip away a bit more at the excerpts from the writings of people who influenced C.S. Lewis.

In addition, I’m going to crank out a newsletter – hopefully one that will have a special edition for the mission trip, which is a long time coming.

In the meantime, here’s a few videos you might enjoy:

I found the Jesus Storybook Bible read aloud recently and HAVE to share it! Seriously, take a minute to check it out and if you have kids, I’m sure they will love it. It’s a great way to share the story of Jesus with them this season!

CLICK HERE!

Here is an amazing time-lapse video that I hope will add a bit of awe and wonder to your night/day.

and lastly, a strange tangent. Is the adage “less is more” really true? What if the whole world was edited to give a certain experience? Check out this article from a brand blog I’ve been reading lately.

alright, folks. don’t forget to

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Tomorrow is another day of celebration! As we prepare to remember His death, it is with the beautiful knowledge that He also conquered it!

Posted on by Caroline 0

give yourself away

Today was a day that made living “a la orden” (see also here and here) a beautiful, precious gift! I sang a few songs at an all-school assembly this morning and then picked up a trumpet for a third. The band teacher, Dave, is pretty good about affirming gifts in other people… and when he found out I could play trumpet a few years ago, he hasn’t let me forget it’s a gift I should be sharing. And I can say I’m glad he hasn’t!

Then I had several conversations in my office where I said several times, “I’m going to be honest, okay?” and I just got down to the nitty gritty and it was completely received on the other end. Lately, I’ve been asking for recommendation letters from colleagues and several of them mentioned my abilities to meet students where they are. With that kind of affirmation, I’ve got to make it available… and when I do, it’s like EVERYBODY wins! I’m using my gifts (God-given), students are getting blessed, and God is getting the glory!

So then, there’s this other ability people have pointed out called “you’re crazy!” ….. Don’t laugh! I really do think it’s a gift!! I get SO much energy when people revel in joy. It’s CONTAGIOUS. Anyway, people call it different things, “ability to relate,” “crazy,” “energetic,” “young” … and, well, I’ve got to use that gift to the glory of the Lord, right? Because it’s only him that’s allowed me to be so willing (at the cost of awkwardness and embarrassment) to go all out in search of joy! Tonight we did just that. Our plans changed a zillion times, but the mission trip kids (after riding down the mountain in the back of a truck) ended up in the mall doing a scavenger hunt of my devising. We arrived out of breath and sweaty at our final destination with hilarious stories and pictures to share.

I LOVE IT. I seriously LOVE being available and not because I feel so important, but because I know anything good in me is the Lord. Anything I have worth sharing is the Lord’s … I am not my own! And when I share the gifts He’s given, I receive SUCH JOY and blessing to see Him at work!

Today is a day for rejoicing! In terms of routine and calendar, we were a bit early to be blaring “Because He Lives” from our trumpets this morning at the all-school assembly. But in terms of the Truth of Christ’s power over the grave we were every bit right on time. I love to proclaim with my whole heart God’s victory over the grave because it is my victory as well. I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ … so I will be joyful in victory and joyfully available to share my gifts so that His victory over the grave might be boldly proclaimed! It’s truly more blessed to give yourself away.

Today marks the beginning of Semana Santa and I can’t wait to see what other joys the Lord has in store!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy!

Several of my students have a new “favorite” song and I am equally joyful at its truth as I am at their excitement about it! It’s a perfect preparation for this week:

Posted on by Caroline 0

the cost of “a la orden”

ouch!

My entire Saturday was saturated with a painful joy. I’m resigned to calling my emotion painful joy because, as much as I’ve reached and grabbed at the English language, I can’t find anything better. I guess it has a lot to do with processing a very emotional week of mission, but I think it’s also this new life philosophy I’m trying out.

I’m really attempting to put everything in my life in the “a la orden” perspective. And, as I do so, I’m noticing the painful joy pressing in on my heart more than I can express. As I share stories with people and listen to memories from students on the mission trip, I am overwhelmed. It’s like standing under Niagara Falls and trying to be thankful for every drop of water cascading from such a great height. It’s TOO MUCH to take in. I was trying to build up monuments (like the Israelites) with words so we can look back and see the Lord’s blessing, but I felt almost frantic to find enough stones and build fast enough.

Have you ever sat with someone who is sharing his/her heart and not known how to express the love blooming like springtime in your soul? I sit there and wish there was a way to dance, sing, laugh, and hug with the colorful power of a hundred springtimes. If I sound crazy, I am doing well with this explanation because it doesn’t make any sense to me either.

The more I make my gifts “available” to the Lord, the more I feel completely blown away by His brilliant use of them. I really consider any gift or ability I have not at all my own, but the Lord’s, so it shouldn’t surprise me that He knows best how to use these gifts for His glory. But, I think the surprise is wrapped up somehow in my joy as well. The mystery of seeing the Gospel alive and working in front of my eyes to transform people I love is marvelous.

THIS is what it means to taste and see that the Lord is good!

Where is the pain? you might ask. Well, yesterday my soul hurt. It ached like the worst charlie horse, but there was no massaging it away. This pain was in every way attached to my joy and I’m still figuring out why.

taste and see
I think (maybe) the more we taste and see that the Lord is good, we might also start to understand the limits of that taste. Let me try to explain. While we are still living on this earth in the “already, not yet” of Kingdom Come, we are limited to merely taste and see the Lord is good. To be honest, I think “taste” is all we can handle, but that reveals one very important, painful truth: this broken world can’t handle the whole feast. We are not yet in eternity where our days will be filled with the FULLNESS of the Lord’s goodness, not just a taste. When we taste something, if it’s a good something, we generally want more.

This could not be more true of the Lord. When we are overwhelmed with delight in His presence, we want more of Him… even ache for more of Him. Within this deep desire there is a struggle for the “eternity set in our hearts” where this ache will be relieved.

subject and mode
The subject of my true delight is the Lord always, but the mode seems to be this “a la orden” (make every gift and talent available through service). And, in serving, the pain comes with the joy as well. With every child comforted or hungry man fed, millions more wait. There is pain (possibly the “groaning in expectation” in Romans?) in serving others in this world when the need is so great. So, at the same time I am experiencing the joy of obedience and following God’s heart, I am experiencing pain through the realization that others may not feel the same joy.

selfish love
I love these students. It almost scares me how much I love them. To see them ENJOYING the presence of the Lord has been one of God’s greatest gifts to me in my time here. Because I’ve been so blessed to see God work in them, I realize that my part in their journey may soon end. It is, of course, the LORD who is moving and working and drawing them near the Throne of Grace. And I am realizing it is one of the biggest steps of faith to believe God will take care of them whether or not I am by their side. I am having to let go of the reasons my love for them encourages me … and hold on to the reasons my love for God will help me love them in the best way that encourages them.

So, there’s some Sunday reflection for you. I hope you are all enjoying a beautiful Sabbath day!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 6

repost: downpours, quinceañera, and sisterly lessons

A little more than a year ago, I wrote this post on a strange collection of events/lessons. This morning a re-read made me chuckle, so I’m hoping it also brings you some kind of Tuesday relief.

(from April 18, 2010 post)
Since I believe apologies are not acceptable, I’m moving very quickly past the place where I might make one for not writing in so long. With a few well-placed headlines, I’ll let you in on some of the goings-on here in Tegus while I eat some deeee-licious Honduran-style beef stew.

torrential downpour
Last Friday night was the overnighter event for the elementary kids. Though I’m not involved in the outreach with the little ones, they asked me to help with the game CLUE that our HS students had come up with a few months back for our own outreach event. … And play human CLUE we surely did! We ran to different “rooms” and played games in order to receive clues and try to solve the mystery.

After all that madness ended (God give me grace when I have crazy, screaming little ones!), I loaded up good ‘ole Louis and down the mountain we went. (I still don’t have a muffler, but I’m working on it and I’ve told myself that’s good enough right now.) Continue reading →
Posted on by Caroline 0

how NOT to gain 100 pounds while baking

I think I could almost say I am studying baking as a second language right now. I won’t say it’s easy, but I will say it is very rewarding (even if only in the “kitchen smells good all the time” sense). Anyway, I thought I might share with you some of the things I’m learning in BSL. I hope, if you ever choose to take on this delicious course, you’ll take note of this extremely important advice so it doesn’t become painfully obvious that you’ve enrolled in said course.

 

in the midst of mad baking!
  1. Do NOT brew a fresh pot of coffee while the cookies are in the oven
  2. Make sure you begin the cookie process just after you’ve filled your tummy with good things, not before
  3. While the dough is rising in the oven, throw some green beans on the stove – fresh, crispy green beans with salt, pepper, and a bit of butter. Then MUNCH on those instead of the “broken cookies”
  4. Hide the milk!!
  5. Entice your friends into the kitchen with the job of “taste-tester” and then TRUST them!
  6. Remind yourself with each batch or finished cake that these items are going to be sold – and that finger-licking isn’t necessarily professional.
  7. Intentionally plan a workout following your baking session so you can’t over-indulge… you know you will regret it later.
  8. (This is my favorite) Allow yourself to lick the cake pan, once the cake is safely on its serving plate. There’s no point in completely denying yourself the good stuff!

That’s all I got for now. Any other suggestions from fellow bakers-in-distress?

let that LOVE fly like cRaZy!!

Posted on by Caroline 6

pride won’t get us where we’re going

What a beautiful weekend… especially beautiful if I count from Thursday (sweet dinner) to tonight (Micah Project). Here are a few pictures from the sweet dinner. I pulled these off facebook… as you can see, the girls were happy as can be to have something to take home!

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This morning, I listened to a sermon by John Piper before going to church (and between my frequent checks on the pumpkin cake in the oven). I love the way we can turn a passage over and over and never examine it fully. I suppose that is part of the mystery and what makes the Gospel so marvelous. The sermon, though in two completely different perspectives, gave a good look at the sin of pride. It made me think of this song by Thad Cockrell. I have no connection to TV, but I think the grammy’s are on tonight (judging by all the facebook status updates). I’m sure there are some amazing performances, but this song sure deserves a listen.

Through the power of God alone we can overcome the temptation of pride, which leads to all sorts of unbelief. Oh, that we would believe!

Speaking of believing, today my home church presented the news of our student mission team along with prayer cards and 25 prayer cards were picked up! I am so very, VERY blessed to feel the encouragement and support of these beautiful people all the way down here. But, more importantly, to see that they are excited about my students taking steps to love and serve those around them. Praise God that we are BLESSED to be A BLESSING!

I wish I could write pages more, but you’ll have to fill in the blanks yourself because my battery is going to die. I’m going to pick up a book and call it a night!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy
tomorrow, but ALWAYS!

Posted on by Caroline 3

You lead me out of myself

INVITE FOR 2010 SWEET DINNER
INVITE info

I’m getting ready for the SO-FAMOUS Sweet Dinner (10, 09, 06), which is happening on Thursday!! I have been thinking so much about what it means to love – really, truly love people. Loving these senior girls for the past three years makes it hard to write about love without crying. They make fun of me for it, but I’m not ashamed. Maybe tears are part of the overflow, too?

All I know is, I’ve got a GIANT lasagna (ahem, I might have used a turkey pan) and I have big plans for the special heart tins my mom sent me in a package last year. I’m working on parodies and decorations.

And in all these things, every once in awhile I take as deep a sigh as I can manage to remember that all this is just a reflection… it’s all overflow and I’ve got to keep getting filled.

So, I thought these words would be good to start out the morning. One of my favorite sounds to rummage up inspiration in my soul is The Arrows from South Africa. Two ladies rocking out, weaving clever lyrics with layered melodies is what I call a good time. Well, maybe if you read these lyrics for pilgrimage you’ll get the picture. I wish I could find a youtube video to post (if you can, let me know!). Here is their myspace page.

On this pilgrimmage to the new Jerusalem
and it’s the highway of holiness that gets me there
start of the journey is the day when I let the seed
fall to the ground and the day that I die is the day
I start to climb

On this pilgrimmage to the new Jerusalem
and it’s the highway of holiness that gets me there
every time I choose Your way instead of going my own direction
those are the times when I fall right behind
that You come to lead me along
will You lead me on?

and if I ever lose my hope
You’re there to light the fire
You bring me everything I need
when You quiet me with the Love you give
and You sing those songs all over me
and You tenderly
You lead me out of myself
and You walk with me

On this pilgrimmage to the new Jerusalem
and it’s the small and the narrow gate that gets me there
I know that many are called but that only few are chosen
those are the few who abandon themselves to pursue Your kingdom come
Your kingdom come

and if I ever lose my hope
You’re there to light the fire
You bring me everything I need
when you quiet me with the Love you give
and you sing those songs all over me
and you tenderly
You lead me out of myself
and you walk with me
and you walk with me
and you walk with me
and you walk with me
—

Today, my chorus is, “Lord, lead me out of myself”

and let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 3

praise God for mercies anew!

It’s all about perspective, I suppose.

Today, looking back on yesterday, I can see God’s promises never changed. Things are brighter and more hopeful today, but not because circumstances have made them that way, but because I’m viewing them in light of who God is instead of who I am. My statement, “I need” is just as true today, but the difference is a focus on God’s provision.

As I’m thinking about all this, I realized a lesson that should still be fresh on my heart. Last Friday, a mission group from Missouri came to lead our staff in worship. Within the first few opening lines, I expected a fire-and-brimstone type of message (mainly due to the drawled accent and vocal inflection characteristic of preaching, pot-stirrers). But, I can say truly the power of that message was something deeper than delivery. Praise God He is gracious with us and promises His Word will never return void.

So, the message focused on Colossians 1:9-12, where Paul prays in earnest for these fellow believers. The pastor summed up how we can pray in the same way with these simple pleas:

verse 9
Lord, help us know what to do (Discernment)
verse 10
Lord, help us do what we know (Discipline)
verse 11
Lord, help us do it with the power You provide (Dependence)
verse 11
Lord, help us keep doing it (Determination)
verse 12
Lord, help us do it with joyful thanksgiving! (Delight)

I walked right up to him afterwards and asked if there was a way I could get a transcript of the sermon. Sure enough, the sermon showed up in my email today. I almost deleted it (because his name is a little strange), but when I opened it and saw the kind message and the sermon attached, I knew it was more than him keeping his promise. In my state of need yesterday, I prayed and vented and asked for support.

In God’s grace, today He gave provision by way of this sermon, smiling faces, and a light heart.

Today, my word is THANKFUL.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

this also happened on Friday …


Posted on by Caroline 2

Firsts

  1. First time away from my family over the Christmas holidays
  2. First time sunbathing in December
  3. First time I ever hosted a storybook character costume party
  4. First time I ever made bacon ice cream (don’t knock it – I got the recipe from some hoity-toity French chef and I’ll add that I got pretty much all rave reviews)
  5. First time attending Christmas Eve service in Spanish… and having a special prayer time at the end for two elderly ladies from the church who were kidnapped
  6. First time eating Christmas dinner at midnight on Christmas Eve
  7. First time celebrating many holiday moments via skype
  8. First time hosting a visitor in a foreign country for one of the most precious holidays
  9. First time (in Honduras) jamming out in the car to all sorts of songs with someone who DOESN’T think I’m crazy for doing so
  10. First time crafting almost every single gift I gave for Christmas (also the first time I worried like crazy that the recipients wouldn’t understand my artistic ideas and appreciate them enough to not throw away the hours it took to make them!)
  11. First time I witnessed in the craziest display of fireworking power in the hands of pubescent boys with gasoline and lighters and an awkwardly stuffed straw man who was blown to smithereens at the stroke of midnight… to celebrate the New Year
  12. First time the streets of Tegucigalpa were not bumper to bumper (for the entire holidays most of the roads were like a ghost town)
  13. First time I picked up a visitor in the afternoon from the airport and then didn’t let him sleep until 2 am … and then wake him up 2 hours later for our bus trip to the next country over.
  14. First time I achieved 7:47 on my first of four miles on the treadmill! I can thank my high school friend Joelle for this one. I have no idea why, but when I saw she ran a mile in 7:47 it became my goal to make that my first mile, but still run it at intervals. I know this doesn’t make any sense to anyone … but I was so excited!
  15. First time trying out my new treadmill moves (see Patrick Swayze post)
  16. First time returning to school from vacation feeling like I needed a vacation… and at least three days to re-adjust my body’s clock from 3 am to 10 pm bedtimes.
  17. First time (probably in the history of man) that two people started to completely randomly sing this same line at the same time, prompted by nothing in particular, “you get a line, I’ll get a pole, we’ll go fishing in the crawfish pole…” Two brains can actually be random and weird at the same time!
  18. First time realizing how beautiful it is to have someone from one world I love walk around in another world I love equally as much.
  19. First time truly appreciating the power of family tradition and the importance of presence.
  20. First time I had people packing “to go” boxes from the spread of baked goods at my party.
  21. First time in a long while that I started an finished a nice, lengthy book in a few days.
  22. First time taking Nertz to a whole new level: I played in almost every eating establishment open late over Christmas in Tegucigalpa, in at least three places in El Salvador, with students in my house and in public places, individual and groups, and even outside. Oh! and did I mention I have a Nertz Christmas ornament? I do!

Okay, I know if I go on it will get boring. If I get a list out of the way, I generally am more likely to start writing for real. And I know there is at least one person out there (ahem, Hilda) who will keep asking me every day until I get back into the habit.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy!

Posted on by Caroline 1