the cost of “a la orden”


My entire Saturday was saturated with a painful joy. I’m resigned to calling my emotion painful joy because, as much as I’ve reached and grabbed at the English language, I can’t find anything better. I guess it has a lot to do with processing a very emotional week of mission, but I think it’s also this new life philosophy I’m trying out.

I’m really attempting to put everything in my life in the “a la orden” perspective. And, as I do so, I’m noticing the painful joy pressing in on my heart more than I can express. As I share stories with people and listen to memories from students on the mission trip, I am overwhelmed. It’s like standing under Niagara Falls and trying to be thankful for every drop of water cascading from such a great height. It’s TOO MUCH to take in. I was trying to build up monuments (like the Israelites) with words so we can look back and see the Lord’s blessing, but I felt almost frantic to find enough stones and build fast enough.

Have you ever sat with someone who is sharing his/her heart and not known how to express the love blooming like springtime in your soul? I sit there and wish there was a way to dance, sing, laugh, and hug with the colorful power of a hundred springtimes. If I sound crazy, I am doing well with this explanation because it doesn’t make any sense to me either.

The more I make my gifts “available” to the Lord, the more I feel completely blown away by His brilliant use of them. I really consider any gift or ability I have not at all my own, but the Lord’s, so it shouldn’t surprise me that He knows best how to use these gifts for His glory. But, I think the surprise is wrapped up somehow in my joy as well. The mystery of seeing the Gospel alive and working in front of my eyes to transform people I love is marvelous.

THIS is what it means to taste and see that the Lord is good!

Where is the pain? you might ask. Well, yesterday my soul hurt. It ached like the worst charlie horse, but there was no massaging it away. This pain was in every way attached to my joy and I’m still figuring out why.

taste and see
I think (maybe) the more we taste and see that the Lord is good, we might also start to understand the limits of that taste. Let me try to explain. While we are still living on this earth in the “already, not yet” of Kingdom Come, we are limited to merely taste and see the Lord is good. To be honest, I think “taste” is all we can handle, but that reveals one very important, painful truth: this broken world can’t handle the whole feast. We are not yet in eternity where our days will be filled with the FULLNESS of the Lord’s goodness, not just a taste. When we taste something, if it’s a good something, we generally want more.

This could not be more true of the Lord. When we are overwhelmed with delight in His presence, we want more of Him… even ache for more of Him. Within this deep desire there is a struggle for the “eternity set in our hearts” where this ache will be relieved.

subject and mode
The subject of my true delight is the Lord always, but the mode seems to be this “a la orden” (make every gift and talent available through service). And, in serving, the pain comes with the joy as well. With every child comforted or hungry man fed, millions more wait. There is pain (possibly the “groaning in expectation” in Romans?) in serving others in this world when the need is so great. So, at the same time I am experiencing the joy of obedience and following God’s heart, I am experiencing pain through the realization that others may not feel the same joy.

selfish love
I love these students. It almost scares me how much I love them. To see them ENJOYING the presence of the Lord has been one of God’s greatest gifts to me in my time here. Because I’ve been so blessed to see God work in them, I realize that my part in their journey may soon end. It is, of course, the LORD who is moving and working and drawing them near the Throne of Grace. And I am realizing it is one of the biggest steps of faith to believe God will take care of them whether or not I am by their side. I am having to let go of the reasons my love for them encourages me … and hold on to the reasons my love for God will help me love them in the best way that encourages them.

So, there’s some Sunday reflection for you. I hope you are all enjoying a beautiful Sabbath day!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

for God’s glory means for our joy

I am still trying to process and understand the many lessons from the past week. Really, it’s not just the week busting at the seam with lessons… it’s the week of the mission trip pointing to everything God has been moving in my heart over several years. This week, one of the students from the mission trip literally gave the shoes off her feet to a woman whose sandals were broken in half. She walked out with plastic bags tied around her ankles. Later, she told me, “I mean, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal.”

I’m just sitting here, amazed by it all. God is transforming lives right in front of my face. I can’t shake off the joy! I just can’t! One thing I kept telling the students during the week was, “I promise that if you are serving the Lord with your whole heart, you will find yourself with an abundance of joy. I’m not promising this because I can give it to you… I’m promising because the Lord is faithful.”

I know I can’t tell them they will always be happy when they serve others, but I can say that a life of serving others will bring you close the Father’s heart… and there joy runs deeper than anything else. So, I’m trying to encourage this reflection of the trip because I don’t want the students to think it is only about the people or the memories (because given a different purpose, like vacation, they would have had a completely different experience with the people). I hope they will look back and remember how beautiful it is to come together in community with the goal of loving God and loving others… with an attitude of “a la orden” in the ways God has gifted us.


crazy group of fired up kids 🙂



With that, here is David’s reflection. It’s very long, but very worth it!

Very frequently, as imperfect human beings, we tend to believe that the world is a bubble formed by our own problems, fears, difficulties, and achievements. However, when one takes the time to let go of worries and decides to focus on others, one finds that there is much more in life. As a Christian, I had many times wondered, “What is my purpose here? What is God going to do with my life?” It was this 2011 mission trip that served as an eye-opening experience and answered these questions I kept in my mind. This mission trip has been used by God to revolutionize my world and give me a new perspective on life.

“Why did we decide to do this? Why did we decide to give up the daily comforts we have? Why did we decide to make sacrifices that people out there might consider out of place?” If I were to answer these questions with one word, that would be LOVE. It is because of love that today we can declare that we are saved. What a greater example of love than He who came down to the world and took the nature of a servant, making himself nothing to give the world a chance? As Christians, we need to resemble Christ in every way possible; it is our duty, then, to go out to the world to share His love and His wonderful message of salvation.

Christian life is a narrow road that few are able to find. Once you find it, walking in it demands everything you are to the point that you are willing to give up all you are for it. Even though at the moment it might not seem so, at the end you will have what is actually important- the salvation of your soul. Personally, before going on the mission trip, I decided to let God guide me and was willing to listen to his soft whispers. Like always, He was faithful and gave us the most spectacular and spiritually-rewarding week that we could have asked for.

God called us during this past week to do several demonstrations of His love. Personally, what impacted my life the most was the evangelism we did at Villa de San Francisco. I was amazed after seeing how little people know about God and how desperate they are to establish communication with their Daddy, the one who gave them life and created them in His image. When I stepped out of the van with my group, I thought to myself, “I don´t know how, but God will do amazing things through us today.” I made no mistake. Just starting, we met a group of about five teenagers who were clearly not very pleased with us coming to talk to them; after giving us the opportunity to talk to them, a couple of them seemed to be interested in learning more and started to debate with us about whether God was real or not. Even though the conversation wasn´t as fruitful as we would have hoped, we were sure that some of the guys were questioning themselves about how unlikely it would have been that Jesus was made-up by history, taking into account the fact that He is the only one that has turned the world upside down in such a manner.

After our first encounter, we felt even more motivated to find people to talk to about God. We found several more people and talked to them about God and about His purpose for their lives. It was really hard to conceive that most, if not all, of the individuals we approached that day had misconceptions about the requirements for getting to Heaven. Several were amazed to be told that all that was required was to truly believe and accept Jesus Christ as the Messiah and Savior; many said they were not ready to make this choice, because they did not want to change their way of life. A guy we talked to that day told me, “I might be rejecting the best invitation that has
ever been made to me in my life; however, I assure you that one day you will come back and I will then call you ‘brother.´” This phrase made me smile, even though I tried to make him realize that the next day could be too late for him. Like him, many others shared how much need they had of a God who helped them get through life but how unwilling they were to give up everything for that God.

The seed has been planted, and we are sure that God is going to do what He needs to. We were just humble instruments used powerfully by the Holy Spirit throughout the week to bring a smile to a number of orphans, do a couple of work projects, and spread the Gospel. The world is in need of people who are brave enough to stand up for what they believe and for what God expects from them. Are we willing to be part of that group of people? Are we going to answer? We need to be ready to listen to God and be quick to answer, “Here I am LORD. Send me!” There is much more work to be done, and what God has done this past week in our lives is just a great motivation to let go of ourselves and give out all we are in name of Jesus Christ, our wonderful and mighty Savior.

There are so many stones for this monument of blessing! I’m learning so much from these students as we build up a place of remembrance for our Lord!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy!

more stories of God’s faithfulness

I’m just going to continue the comparison to a monument from earlier today. The ways God works and reveals Himself in our lives are like stones we pile up into mounds. Then, we can look back in the hard times and remind ourselves who the Lord is and His crazy faithfulness throughout history.


our TEAM from ALP



Read from Hiroshi about his experience:

First of all, I want to thank God for the mission trip. I want to thank all of you as well for praying for us while we were in this mission trip and for helping us financially so that we could be part of this trip. The mission trip was one experience I will never forget in my whole life. I am so happy I had the chance to be part of the group in this mission trip and be able to serve others and share the Word of God. So many amazing things happened in this trip that I don’t even know were to start.

The most important thing in this trip was how we were used by God to plant the seed in many people´s lives. As we were evangelizing, people opened their hearts with us and they were really nice and allowed us to spend time with them. As we were sharing, we learned how each person had some sort of problem and how they needed someone to help them. We were able to share how God is always with them and how they don’t have to do this alone. The most important thing was how we were able to tell them that accepting Jesus Christ in our hearts is the only way to receive salvation and how good works doesn’t get you to heaven. Even though they didn’t take the decision to accept Jesus and follow Him, we can be happy that we planted the seed and it’s their decision to receive that seed or not receive it.

Evangelizing not only helped other people to know about God, but it also allowed each one of us to learn a lot of things and grow in our relationship with Him as well. As we were sharing with all the people from the town, we learned how this people have all these struggles and we have all the resources to live, but we forget how blessed we are. It allowed us to remember how God is always taking care of us and how we should always give thanks to Him for everything we have. We should let our pride aside and realize we are nothing if we don’t have God. Evangelizing was one of my favorite experiences in this mission trip because I had the chance to talk to many people and learn things of them.

While we were in Valle, we had the time to spend some time with many kids in the orphanage. This was a really special experience. To see how this kids show love to each other and how they are always happy even when they don’t have all the resources is something that makes you want to cry. As we had a special night with all the kids, we were able to play some games and do some skits for them and share some testimonies. Once again, God used us to plant some seeds in many kids. I know that many of them took a decision to want to follow Jesus and change their lives.

Having the opportunity to serve by doing work projects, evangelizing and be with kids is something I wouldn’t change for anything. God blessed us the week on the mission trip and he used us being imperfect people to accomplish his perfect plan. Having the time to spend some time with the PCA people and have fellowship with them was something I wouldn’t change for anything as well. I had the opportunity to learn many things through them and knowing them helped me make new friends that love Jesus Christ as I do.

I am really thankful with every one of you. This mission trip has been one the best experiences I have had in all my life. While this week finished, I am more motivated to grow in Christ more and more and serve him every day of my life. I know that if every one of us being Christians serves in different places, many would know there is a God that loves them and wants them to be saved. I want you to now that I am really really thankful for helping me be part of this trip. God made amazing things during this week and He will continue to do His work throughout your lives and all of us here who are willing to serve the lord every day of our lives. God bless you all and I hope He keeps using all of you in many ways.

Wow. If this doesn’t motivate you to

let LOVE fly like CRAZY

I don’t know what will!

making a mound o’ blessings

Remember in the Old Testament where the Israelites were constantly messing up and then God showed Himself merciful? It seems like quite often after a lesson was learned, the people built a monument – to remember how far they had fallen and how beautiful God’s great hand swooped down in rescue. I love that idea of monuments we would construct to remember the work God has accomplished in our lives.

For me, these stories are our monuments… a bunch of little stones piled up in mounds to make our monuments of blessings. Hopefully, we can look back at these stories and praise God for who He is and how He works through us when we make ourselves available to Him.

Check out what Daniel has to say:

So I am home now that the mission trip is over, and I am getting to understand just how great of an experience this mission trip was. It was great to get to know the PCA group from Dallas – they were each very special people. They helped make the whole journey special and worth the effort. I look back and I learned so much in so little time, and with the smallest things.

One thing that made me realize just how fortunate we are and how easy it is to help and give love was seeing the delight in the kids’ faces when we played games and gave them prizes. They were filled with joy and energy and each of them appreciated what we were doing, which feels great. Another moment engraved in my mind happened during the Tuesday night event. We had tons of pizza to give out for free, and some was left over. I remember when one of the guys gave a lady a full pizza, and the lady was SO thankful for that! She probably needed it to give food to her family. Moments like that are what make the trip worth it.

Another thing that I just thought of that I really liked is how both groups of students, PCA and ALP, bonded together as a family, and everyone looked out for each other and worried about each other. One specific example that I give is when we were swimming at the beach in Tela. We were all in the ocean and there were pretty big waves in it, and we were swimming over them and under them for fun. One of our girls was not the best swimmer around, so we always kept an eye on her to see how she was doing. Then a wave came and threw her around, and then when she got up another one hit her straight away. When we saw this all of us swam toward her and picked her up, and one of the guys carried her to the shore.

I guess that this is a reflection of your spiritual walk in life. You are in a vast ocean, and waves (trouble) often come and take you down, and they will keep you down if you are not careful enough. However, if you have friends that are near you and look out for each other, they will help you stand up and face those waves, not alone, but together. This is just a little idea that came to my mind as I wrote this, and it reminds me of Proverbs 27:17, which says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” So now remember, you are not alone. Help is always found, especially when you are a Christian and trust in God to aid you. Be that helping hand to others who are struggling, and they will be there for you when you need them.

Beautiful words this morning! Here is a short photo montage of the trip that we will show in chapel. It is by NO means a full summary, but it’s a taste.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

tired but OH-so-SATISFIED

We got back last night to Tegucigalpa after a 6 hour bus trip and a flat tire. The students were sprawled out on all the seats to try to reclaim some of the sleep that escaped them this week. I was sitting up at the front with my sunglasses on, crying my eyes out because I was remembering the ways God revealed Himself to us. I was looking out at the beautiful, Honduran landscape and loving this land… the watermelon stands and the mountains and the construction zones and the fresh honey. I was looking out at all this land and realizing how it’s carved now into my heart. Maybe that is another reason why this week was so powerful – we spent the whole week loving people in this land I’ve grown to love so much. We walked the streets of pueblos and a beach village, sharing the news of the Gospel. We performed dramas and hosted carnivals and bumped along dusty roads to reach public schools in the middle of nowhere, tucked in the mountains.

One of the biggest blessings for me was to watch God strike a match in the souls of my students. I wish you could see their eyes when they tell about the conversation in the pulperia or the man they met on the street. I wish you could hear the excitement when they ask, “Miss, what if we did this EVERY day??”

I was weeping on that bus because I knew God spoke to their hearts when they made themselves available to do His will. Yesterday, before we left I was crazy, crazy with excitement. The official “mission trip” had ended, but I know the work through these students’ lives has only begun! Tired may very well describe us today, as we walk around school like zombies, but SATISFIED is more appropriate. One of the students told me yesterday, “Miss, I’ve never felt so productive in my entire life.” Yes, we’re tired… but we are so confident that our weariness is for a beautiful purpose that it doesn’t matter. In fact, it feels good to give so much energy to something we believe in so strongly!

Here is a story from one of the beautiful students, Marianna,

A cliché quote that sums up what we lived on the mission trip is; expect the unexpected.

Going into this trip, I was very skeptical. I did not believe that doors and hearts woud be opened starting with the PCA kids, even less when referring to the people from Honduras. But I was so wrong! We met and saw and interacted with some of the most beautiful people in the world, from the most fortunate kids (the team from Dallas) to the village people who essentially have nothing. One of the most amazing things was the  breaking of what seemed like the “Berlin Wall” that stood between cultural and social groups.

My first evangelizing experience was to a drunk man called Reinaldo who, at first glance, was the kind of person you would avoid by crossing to the other side of the street. But in that moment we thought: Wait, THIS is who we are here for. We were helping the broken and empty but it wasn’t really us – it was God through us and for us. We came in with open minds and left with open, love-filled hearts. All to the glory of the Lord!

I know that there will never be a replica of this trip but I encourage the world to drop everything and go live it up for God. The joy you will experience will be more than you can ever imagine!!

pushed to the limit and BLESSED beyond

Wow. These days are cRaZy! Yesterday we spent time at the orphanage and the public school in Valle and then we got ready for the outreach event at night. My heart jumped like crazy seeing kids streaming into the camp from the dusty, dirt road to see what all the hype was about. We played soccer (of course), relays, and then we had a presentation.

I will expand more when I am not sitting on concrete steps and struggling to get a signal. But, I just want you to know a bit of the beauty I felt watching the students push themselves to the limit. All morning we were at the orphanage … it was piggy back ride after volleyball game after more piggy back after laugh attacks. Constant motion and then the night was constant emotion. The students performed two skits like professionals and several shared their testimony with a crowd of 250-300. The most beautiful thing of all (more beautiful than my horrible miscalculations – don’t ever ask me to order you pizza unless you want more than you need!), was truly praying through the belief that God is at the center. We offer up our humble attempts, but it is God who makes any attempt successful. I saw these students give their hearts on that stage (even though several were sick) … because they knew giving their all is the only way God would want them to perform.

Before the final assembly, I overhead a student say, “Oh my gosh! I have to translate for you and now we’re singing and I have to get the props and … how am I going to do this!?!?!” then a breath, “No, it’s okay. I trust God will work through me if He thinks I can handle this.”

THESE are the moments!

OKay – before I get carried away about last night … I have to move on to today to other GREAT, BIG moments. We spent some time de-briefing before we scattered for the night and I got to hear some of the aMAZING testimonies of our team who went out in a little village called San Francisco. None of my students had been there before and only one knew it existed, tucked away in the mountains. The students went door to door and shared the gospel and the effect is still gripping my heart. One group, after presenting the gospel, was told, “I’m rejecting the best gospel presentation I’ve ever heard in my life.” Which was a strange, sure encouragement to them that they were on the right track. They assured the stranger that he didn’t have to reject it, of course, but he could choose to believe.

Well, enough of my stories… here is a word from Lesly (who blesses me at least 10 times a day with her warmth, her smile, and her attitude).

This morning, we did three carnivals at elementary schools in El Sauce and Cerro Grande. The kids came from all over and were super excited to see us. Later, we visited the town of Villa San Fransisco to do a carnival and evangelize through the streets. I had Marielle and Stanley in my group – and they are probably the coolest people to be with.

We met an old woman who shared how sick she was. Stanley got up right there as she was telling us and prayed for her, and I was trembling because I was so moved by what God was doing. His prayer was so beautiful and I started to realize how amazing it is to just reach out and love in this way.

While walking around Villa San Fransisco, all of the people were extremely welcoming and hospitable. I feel so blessed that I was able to meet all of them. We also got the opportunity to share with people our age, Lester and Misiael. They were very open to Marielle’s and Stanely’s testimonies and really wanted to listen to what we had to say.

At the very end, there was this man called Carlos who completely made fun of us while we were praying for him.  Even though we were a little embarrassed for ourselves we have the confidence that we planted the seed in him.  God really blessed us with the opportunity to meet up with people who needed our presence and His presence.


Wow. The stories keep coming! Please keep praying that we

let God’s love fly like cRaZy!!

the crazy ride begins

Wow. Yesterday I thought it almost impossible to gather the team before leaving (4 were coming from San Pedro and one was en route to the hospital after a soccer injury), but somehow we were ended up around a campfire to talk about our hopes and fears for the week. We were all in agreement that God has some pretty amazing plans set out for this time.

I won’t blabber much, because Carlos wrote up a little reflection to share… but I do want to mention that I was the brave one to hunt out a mouse this morning in our dorm, which sprinted up my leg. We still haven’t found it, so I might have a sleeping buddy. Today, we gave a cultural seminar and the PCA staff/students spoke in chapel. Then we went to admire the city from a lookout point on the way down the mountain before we headed to the orphanage for the afternoon. Okay – enough details. Here’s Carlos and his reflection:

God calls his servants to aid others in any way we can. There are numerous ways we can do this. For example, we can donate to good causes, give money to our church, go to orphanages, give food to the poor, go on mission trips, and many more. This week our school, Academia Los Pinares, has joined Prestonwood Christian Academy, for a second year in a row, to do a mission trip. A mission trip is defined as a trip with specific plans to benefit specific people or groups, outiside your culture.

So, we, the ALP students, are on an outreach project or service project in our country, Honduras, while the students and staff from PCA are on a mission trip; they are serving outside American territory.  Anyway, whether you participate in a mission trip or outreach project, the goal is to spread God’s Holy Word, the gospel, to others through acts of service. Also, another goal is to help the individuals, spreading the gospel, to draw closer to God by sacrificing their commodity, work, money, etc. and just focusing on what God has planned for them. For example, sacrificing luxuries (hot water, good food, cozy bed, etc.) allows you to see that earthly things are not essential to your spiritual life. Sometimes, it is easier to see God’s work in your life and how He is working in it. Also, it lets you realize that all the things you have aren’t your,s but are from the Lord. The things you have, are lent to you by the Lord, who can take them away whenever He wants.

During the week of the mission trip, both ALP and PCA students and staff have decided to give up many things, such as luxury, to be able to come to Valle de Angeles and Tela to preach about God’s free and eternal gift of salvation.  Finally, by sacrificing ourselves to serve others, we show love. In John 15:13, it says “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

So, that’s the first of many students to share. I hope you are encouraged tonight! Tomorrow is a big day, so keep us in your prayers.

May the Lord strengthen us in His WORD and guide us in His light!!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy!

December stands for ANTICIPATION

I love December. Even though it’s not snowy cold here, the flip of the calendar and the ushering in of advent has a sparkle all its own. I love that December means (if we weren’t before) we’ve all got our gaze fixed ahead in anticipation for something great… something beautiful and lovely and joyous is going to happen.

I just love it.  And maybe that’s why my bedroom floor can’t seem to stay clean. It might be a stretch, but I’m going to say it’s because I am looking ahead to times of joyful gatherings and love-drenched celebrations.

this is just a landscape shot of my floor - covered in crafts!

As long as I’m talking about making things and giving them away, I know you’ve all been anticipating the Honduran Horizon newsletter! So, I have good news – HERE IT IS. You can either view it right here or go to the Honduran Horizon tab at the top of this page to view all the newsletters.

Here are a few other recommendations:

  • Get some free Christmas music from Amazon right here.
  • Check out this little piece from Tim Keller on politics and faith, which I always seem to be tangled up in confusion over.
  • I continue to chew on questions of art/beauty/church/gospel and how they are intertwined – this article about a church in Chicago set off a crazy comment fire (for which I received endless inboxes) and resulted in this follow up article. Both are worthy of a read and if you are really ambitious, look at the comments!
  • In regards to the above discussion on art and faith, Makoto Fujimura is becoming someone I would really love to meet.
  • Just to throw in a twist and show I’m totally young and hip and youtube-savvy, check out this crazy video of a girl after she gets her wisdom teeth pulled… pretty funny – especially the RAP (my favorite part!).

Well, I just ate some unbelievable green beans and now I’m on to my main course: popcorn. It’s a whole grain, you know. It’s popcorn, crafts, and filling gift boxes for AFE. Wait… is that my beeping car I hear? Humph. We’ll find out in the morning!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

News and Updates

Well, friends, I think I successfully imported my old blog posts from Musings of a Foreign Heart to this wordpress blog. It was … surprisingly easy. I just had to find the button! I’m a little sad to see that electronic “leaf” officially turned, because it was my beginning as a blogger. I’m sure I’ll recover.

I finally finished my September Newsletter (in October) and so I wanted to use this post to kind of explain all the functions and buttons and drop-down menus of this new blog. I’m excited to offer more information about some of the ministries I have the privilege to work with and also provide a more accessible way to link to newsletters.

At the top of the page, you’ll see the the categories. You can click on each one to find out more. Several of the buttons have drop down menus, so don’t be afraid to check those out as well.

I’ll use this post as an example – there is now a NEW newsletter posted under Honduran Horizon newsletters. It’s the September edition. If the pull-down menus confuse you, here is the link.

So, you should check that out… and then hop on over to some of the other pages – especially the Honduras ministries!

Please leave questions and comments about what is confusing or annoying or delightful 🙂

I’m just trying to

let LOVE fly like CRAZY