Category: Philosophy and Religion

Where does creativity come from?

Today, I stood in front of my class with 12 minutes left in the period and said, “I’m done. You’re not interested in this lesson and I’m not going to force you to learn. Here’s your homework. It’s due tomorrow.”

Just as I am feeling the most connected with the students, the most convicted about my call to love them, and the most convinced that the classroom is not a mistake in God’s plan for me here…. chaos happens on a Tuesday. So, I’m desperately trying to figure out how to tie this in with one of my posts for this week. Since creative is exactly what I don’t feel right now, I thought I would start there.

After my disappointing class and a few other programming glitches, I saw my friend Jose. Jose works on the maintenance crew and is basically an unstoppable bright spot in every day. We always have fun (mostly him teaching me Spanish). But, today as I passed a second time, he stopped me and asked, “Como esta, en serio?” How are you, really? I said a bit sad actually and he said he could tell by the look in my eyes when I said, “Muy bien, y Ud?”

Really, he could tell that I was disappointed with my day? This I’ll have to examine! We went on to talk about how God deserves our praise whether rain or sun, good day or bad day. I left that conversation thinking about all the blessings out at the sea I was missing by passing time in my current mud puddle (CS Lewis, anyone?).

So, what does this have to do with creativity? Well, I don’t fancy myself an artist, although I try. I paint and dance and sing a little here and there. I believe God gave each of us the desire and passion to create. And, because we are created in the image of God, I also believe that we have an intuitive knack for finding quality creations. I want so badly for things I create to be deemed, “good.” Things like lesson plans, poems, dreams of saving the world, adventures, light fixtures, paintings… I want to look at them (and others’ to look at them) and say, “Wow. That is good.”

Today I realized that if I want to develop my creativity, then I have to focus less on what I consider “good” and more on something entirely different.

Tonight, I asked our Bible study girls this question (in light of our book study on Crazy Love by Francis Chan), “What is the absolute craziest thing you could do to show God you love Him?”

I wonder… if I’m obsessed with showing love to my Creator, would the kind of creativity would develop where I (and others) would look at it and say,

“Wow. God is good.”

It’s worth a try.

Posted on by Caroline 0

rumpled blankets, essays, and castles in clouds

I’m swimming in essays, scattered on the rumpled blankets of my bed. We’re in the middle of a cloud tonight (when this happens I nearly always think of the Les Miserables song, “Castle on a Cloud”) and I’m warming to orange, manzanilla, and green teas as I read through an endless amount of essays. Tomorrow is report card day and I can’t begin to express the empathy I now feel for my high school English teacher. The sheer amount of words is enough to scare me off, but throw in another language and I’m wishing the words “This essay is due next week” never left my lips… and I’m a psychology teacher. Imagine doing this every day! Ah!

On the other hand (there always seems to be another hand), the reason the process is taking so long is because I feel as if the students are finally personal. Assign an essay on problem solving and you’re sure to read some clever, creative, surprising, and endearing stories that open windows into their lives. I am quite enjoying it!

In the rush of the end of the quarter last week, I have not been able to post, so tonight I want to encourage you with the lyrics of two of Brooke Fraser‘s songs. I have just recently been listening to her new CD, Albertine, inspired by her trips to Rwanda. The first, Hymn, resonates with my heart’s desire to dwell, really dwell in Thee; the Truth and the only Life. The second, C.S. Lewis song (how could I not be drawn to such a title!), reminds me of the temporary nature of this life and how we purpose to live in light of a collective groaning for redemption.

HYMN
If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather ’til I only dwell in Thee?
If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
‘Til I only dwell in Thee

If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision ’til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
‘Til I only dwell in Thee

C.S. Lewis song
If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I’ll feel nude when to where I’m destined I’m compared


Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
as I wait for hope to come for me


Am I lost or just found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become


For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He’s coming


 I hope you are blessed tonight (or morning) as you think on what exactly in your life today has eternal significance. I pray you are seeking the Lord, dwelling in Him, and experiencing the abundant life. My hearts overflows in light of His grace upon grace (John 1).

Here’s a taste of this week (I HOPE!):
 What can YOU do?
 I’ve had SO many people ask me how they can support the ministries here in Honduras and I’m finally going to do my best to tell you. So, listen close!

Adventures of the Life I Wish I Led
 Who knows if I’ll write this. Pray that I do for accountability’s sake. I really do enjoy writing creatively!

Where does creativity come from?
 I guess sometimes I just wonder this myself. The short answer is our Creator. What’s the long answer… how do we develop our creativity? What forms might it take? This is what I wonder sometimes.
Exciting updates from HONDURAS
 I’m hoping this post includes a new newsletter, but we’ll see about that. I know, I know, I’m way behind. But, I also know that you are gracious to let me finish well instead of finish quickly! 🙂

Vaya Pues!

Posted on by Caroline 0

Resolution Schmesolution

I don’t have anything against a resolution.

Actually, I remember making all sorts of lists around the New Year (why do we capitalize this, or do we?) as I was growing up. Many of them were ambiguous and general, but every once in a while I would challenge myself with something concrete like, “Read 1 book/month” or “work out every day.” One year, I even remember making a chart for myself with three columns – Spiritual, Mental, Physical. I made a list under each column of my version of “healthy,” laminated the paper, and quickly became obsessed with my weekly track record.

I guess what I am fighting this new year is the temptation to jump on the merry-go-round once more… to dive into bold declarations of “never agains and alwayses.”

It is so very easy for me to make a list. I mean, I grew up in 4-H, folks, where we wrote goals with a specific timeline and object in mind (shout out to 4-H!). But, as I’m considering the next year that lay ahead, I realized that I don’t want it to be a list of things I’ve attempted and failed. I don’t want to look back next January and, in a new journal, outline how I can “live my best life now” or something horribly cliche.

I think it comes back to what so much of our conversation has been about around here – the question of eternal significance. If I can just resolve to wake up in the morning, breathe in the cool air, and say, “Lord, whatever you would have me do today, let it echo in eternity.” If I can resolve to commune throughout the day with my Savior – to check in with petitions, frustrations, rejoices, and laments. If I can resolve to wear down the edges of my hardcover Bible. If I can be ever so resolute in claiming each moment… then maybe I would be less obsessed with timeframe and completion and more in awe of a divine relationship.

What are your thoughts – resolutions or no?

Posted on by Caroline 1

getting some perspective

“When asking God for guidance in some individual matters, it is a good thing to have as a background some inkling of the larger picture so that we see our own position in that perspective.” Elisabeth Elliot

This quote out of “Slow and Certain Light” is so typical for Elliot and it is some of what makes me love her writing so much. One of my friends here said she actually heard Elisabeth Elliot speak once at her college, but she was surprised that Elliot wasn’t the most approachable person. I remember reading in one of her books that her husband had to remind her to be friendly when they would have speaking engagements.

After reading several of her books, I’m not that surprised. She definitely lived no-nonsense… and there’s an urgency that rises to the surface when someone is unwilling to fiddle with pleasantries and mindless chatter about the weather. I can just see her thinking, “get to the point – who knows how much time we’ve got?” Maybe that’s a harsh exaggeration, I’m not sure, but I can appreciate and understand her advice to force our temporary, earthly eyes to see a matter in light of the greater, eternal landscape.

“Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God.” R.C. Sproul

Going back to my literary adventure with one of my favorite novels, The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky, and how it got me thinking about significance. I am such a small, small piece of what God has made. If I always mentally pictured myself in contrast with the majesty of God, I can’t imagine how effective I might be as a servant.

Posted on by Caroline 0

In the News

Last time I wrote about someone in the news, it was my brother Samuel. This time, I’m so excited to say it’s my school…and we made the 24-7 prayer website news based in the UK.

Read this article and rejoice with me in the blessings of His glorious grace!

Posted on by Caroline 0

ruined

Here I am, feeling a mix of Walden Pond, hippie, gypsy, dusty road, crisp lempira bills, the tantalizing smell of fresh bread baking, disgust with things material, these keys under my fingers, the sunset view from this thatched-covered rooftop.

It’s not supposed to make sense.

Have you ever felt inextricably bound? Have you ever felt you simply couldn’t do without ______ (you fill in the blank) in your life? After a couple days in Copan Ruinas, home of the ancient Mayan civilization, my sleeping philosophy is quite alive. So, here I am on this thatched-covered rooftop, typing away my thoughts on life while the little town buzzes many, each with their own story.

Right now, I’m reading two more Elisabeth Elliot books. The first, “Slow and Certain Light” has been both challenging and punctual. It seems to leaves question marks in my life where I was satisfied with periods. The second, “The Shadow of the Almighty” has left me feeling a bit depressed about the progress of my pilgrim journey. The things Jim Elliot thought about and wrote about make my faith seem very small.

But, the sun is setting now on this little town of Copan and tomorrow I’m going to leave my ‘ruins’ here (get it – Mayan Ruins) and start new.

Posted on by Caroline 0

Secret Life of Bees

Last week, amidst almost constant power outages, I was searching for a good novel to drink in with my endless cups of tea and decaf coffee. My roommate lent me, “The Secret Life of Bees” by Sue Monk Kidd and within pages I was hooked.

I fell abruptly into the room of an awkward adolescent who was dealing with trauma too great for her tender spirit and just kept turning pages. I met the brokenness with a dull ache for all things wrong in the world. The loud, bold anthem of “justice rolls down like a mighty water” fought against the things little Lily faced in her family, culture, and within herself.

But, as much as I resonated with the brokenness seeping off the pages, I couldn’t help but hurt most for the proposed solution, a confused picture of religion.

Now, I finished the book in three short electricity-absent days, so you must understand that I do appreciate the cleverness with which it was written. Every time I turned the page, I seemed to rub shoulders with one of the characters and resonate with their search for meaning and most importantly, hope.

Lily, the main character, is forced to look beyond her circumstances, prejudice, tradition, and her own fears to find something that’s worth living for. She ends up in a delightful, loving, bright pink home outside small-town Tiburon, South Carolina. From the remnants of her little, broken life, we see a splendid new girl emerge.

I struggle, though, because in the end I see Lily just as lost as in the beginning. She has found a place where she feels loved, wanted, and treasured. But, I can’t say that she has truly found hope… a hope that does not disappoint. She ends up putting her trust and faith in this idea of virgin Mary – seeing her in everything and believing she protects and guides. But, I know that no one – not one person – is found to be without sin, even Mary. And to put our hope in a human will certainly lead to disappointment.

This post is shorter than my true thoughts on the subject, but I have a funny feeling that the more I write the less sense I will make. So, I invite your thoughts – for those who have/have not read this book. What do you think of the message woven throughout the pages?

Posted on by Caroline 1

nobody wants to be lonely

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it means to be included. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m immersed in junior high drama, counseling around the ins and outs of friendship circles, or if it’s because I’m still getting used to the idea of being a resident and not a foreigner in this land.

Either way, today I’m reminded of the song, “Nobody Wants to Be Lonely” that was popular when I was in junior high/high school, sung by Ricky Martin and Christina Aguilera. (Come on – I can’t help the ridiculous songs that get stuck in my head!)The song is thick with illustrations of exclusion, interwoven, of course, among heartsick expressions of “love and longing.”

I’m trying to find a way to fit all these things together… to make some sense of my thoughts on the stronghold of self-pity in relation to my experiences of the necessity of human interaction.

And what I’ve come up with is this: the world likes it when we feel lonely, excluded, outcast, disregarded, cut down, ashamed, and worthless. I say the world, but what I really mean is the king of this world, our enemy satan. The tricky thing is the world is both the source of all these feelings and the seeming solution. Somehow, satan positions himself in a way that, though he deceives us first into feeling this way, he also manages to deceives us into thinking only he can get us out.

Am I making sense?

It’s kind of like that old, old story of the two people who were deceived into thinking they could become like God. Nothing good came of their being deceived, but their first line of defense was to cover up with some flimsy leaves, thinking they could hide the feelings of shame.

It’s frustrating. The world promises all sorts of things, like: thinness, self-confidence, wealth, fame, friendship, love, and satisfaction, but when it (inevitably) fails to deliver, there are endless worldly antidotes, like: therapy, diet pills, luxury vacations, divorce lawyers, ice cream, and get-rich-quick schemes.

Frustrating.

I suppose I’m no closer to understanding junior high drama, nor have I captured completely my transition. But, I do know that the schemes of our enemy satan constantly seek to frustrate my Creator’s plans of redemption.

I can be frustrated – the righteous indignation kind – but I must know and believe that, though the world will fail us, God will not. And His plans will not be thwarted.

Posted on by Caroline 0

ordinary vs. extraordinary

saints, humanitarians, martyrs, healers, preachers, prophets, me, kings, prodigies, celebrities

One of these things is not like the other things.
One of these things just doesn’t belong.
Can you guess which thing is not like the other thing
before I finish my song?

http://www.youtube.com/v/tZIvgQ9ik48&hl=en&fs=1

(Just thought I’d flash back to the old “Sesame Street” days)
Well, you probably guessed it by now… it’s me!

Awhile ago, I dove headfirst into a novel by the renowned Russian writer, Fyodor Dostoevsky. The dive was delicious. And, as I followed the main character Prince Myshkin across the Russian countryside, Dostoevsky often contrasted the lives of the ordinary with those of the extraordinary.

He made the point that we simply will not all be extraordinary. We cannot without altering the very definition of the word “extraordinary“. I know – roll it around in your mind a bit.

As Americans, we are really put off by the notion that we will not be extraordinary. It’s some kind of right we fellow Americans think we will always enjoy. Hm.

Well, as I think back on Dostoevsky’s assertions, it doesn’t take long to decide where I fit in. I wake up each morning and so far nothing in my life has set me apart in a way that will show up in history books. Believe it or not, no one is knocking down my door to ask to publish the words on this blog or hidden in my journals. Each day, I wake up and go about the life of breakfast and teeth-brushing and penciling lesson plans and struggling through parent conferences in Spanish.

All these things and nothing to distinguish me against millions and millions of others doing similar, seemingly insignificant tasks.

Could we make the argument that we are extraordinary as Christians? Sure. I’m sure someone will.

But, I really believe that after Adam and Eve sinned, their daily toil would really not make a catchy headline. Day-to-day life normally isn’t.

I am also encouraged by the people between the lines of history. Those people that didn’t make it into the pages of the Bible, save for a few lines where they were found in a crowd or village. Those people – they are ordinary.

I’m an ordinary soldier – an ordinary sojourner – who is learning to be satisfied with the gift of ordinary days. Our service to the Holy King makes Him no more or less great… for He is the extraordinary One and dependent on nothing.

I’m just purposing to do ‘ordinary’ excellently.

Posted on by Caroline 1