Author: Caroline

When I'm not riding in the backseat of my Grandpa's restored vintage car "Mable," I'm doing other things like... rising to most adventure occasions my husband proposes / chasing our toddler around Brooklyn / enjoying neighbors, strangers, and friends / making countless trips to the laundromat / writing for various publications and for personal reflection / loving and serving our local church / cleaning the bathroom / hosting small and big crowds in our home / meeting up with a friend for coffee / thinking Vocation is my strange frenemy. Though I have worked and existed in many stations/places, I am convinced that each day has good work to be done and that I am equipped and prepared to do that good work. This blog explores the tension and the intersection of a constant vocational call - to good work, neighbor love, and living in the kingdom come. My favorite things are coffee and creating and laughing (preferably with company). I love to listen to sermons and read biographies and make tea before going to bed.

Advice for Saturdays

I’ve been thinking a lot about Saturdays. Actually, I’ve been thinking about how I disappoint myself with how I choose to spend my time.

Have you ever said to yourself, “If I only had 3 spare hours to myself. Oh! That would just be glorious! I would do all these wonderful productive things like learn the mandolin and sew some stockings and paint and write a novel.” ?

Well, I have said such things many times, but then when the opportunity comes – in 3 hour or 1 week fragments – I inevitably choose the most unproductive things. Like watching crime shows on tv and checking updates on facebook.

My housemates have been gone for the past two weeks. The first week was rough because I let the ‘inevitable’ happen. The second week has been a great adventure because I have met the inevitable with determination and purpose. I think one of the easiest days to rationalize un-productivity is Saturday, so I just wanted to drop a few tips (especially for the singles out there:) so that you can hit the pillow smiling.

1. Meet up with people
The best way to waste a Saturday is to not be accountable to anyone. I love to have at least 3 people that I plan to see to split up the day.

2. Make a list
I always get more accomplished when I have a list in front of me. Even if you know you won’t get to everything, it’s good to have goals! I also love to write down things that I’ve already finished, or almost finished so then I feel accomplished.

3. Do something practical
Sometimes I get so consumed by a creative project that I forget to do things like laundry and cleaning. Then, when Monday rolls around I am more stressed out than before. If I make sure to get some of the more practical things done between the creative and community, then I feel much better.

4. Be creative
I love to paint, but I rarely do. I also get crazy craft ideas, but seldom try them. I’ve learned that I have to be intentional about my creativity. The other day I wanted to make a graduation card for a friend, but I didn’t have any glue. So, I used ribbon, magazine clippings and construction paper and then sewed it all together. It had a very interesting effect… and I enjoyed it. Being creative doesn’t take a lot of energy, just intentionality.

5. Make someone else smile
This might be the biggest one. If you want to really, really love the day from beginning to end, make it about someone else.

Well, those are my tips. Here are some Saturday suggestions from ‘experts’ .. if you live in Northern Colorado. 🙂

Posted on June 7, 2008 by Caroline 0

Adventures of the Life I Wish I Led: Part 1

These adventures are purely fictional and are meant to represent what my life would look like if wishes did come true. I make no attempt at ‘realistic,’ but I do hope you enjoy my dreaming!

I woke up this morning in a familiar bed, reminded of my previous day’s adventures by the soreness in my calves. What was it I did? Oh, yes! I met family in Michigan for a bit of dune-hiking and para-sailing.

I shook off the blurried haze of morning from my well-slept eyes and tried to focus on today. Sometimes it’s hard jumping time-zones and cultures overnight, but I’m used to it by now. After three years of nearly straight travel, I appreciate two things: my willing, adventurous travel partner Jeremy and my pilot’s license. I knew the moment I met Jeremy he’d be pretty handy, but the pilot’s license was more of a whim than anything else. And boy! has that made our travels easier!

After a brief nostalgic escape, I realize that it’s almost 6 am and the children will be rousing soon. I grab my granolas (the endearing, earthy ensembles I wear ‘in the field’) and rush out to meet the first rays of sun on the Honduran horizon. I almost danced with the light glinting off the windows of our house, but remembered my morning task to prepare the meeting house for teaching. I jumped back inside for a quick scrub down, whisked a toothbrush across the pearly whites, and set off in the direction of the meeting house.

On my way, I spotted the early risers tending the chickens and gathering fresh fruits for the mid-day meal. I saw Jeremy and lingered a few moments to silently praise his tender efforts with widows in our village. He woke long before the sun to fix the stubborn community water spout that had been unresponsive to our most insistent coaxing.

I finally reached the meeting house and my hands began the methodical scurry around the room: tidying, arranging, and re-stocking. I made a mental note to order more pencils and to request more current maps for the walls. Just yesterday we loaded the plane with another round of supplies, but the needs always seemed to exceed the supply.

After the meeting room was in order, I went a few doors down to ask Esmy for a fresh bouquet of flowers. She was expecting me, and had already arranged a gorgeous spread on her table. I replaced the bouquet in the meeting house and went to meet Jeremy.

We always had breakfast at 7:15 a.m. and thank goodness for simplicity – for we had little time to prepare. After our rice and beans, we prayed over the village, our teaching ministry, and all of Jeremy’s patients. The day had officially begun!

Here’s part II.

Posted on June 6, 2008October 6, 2010 by Caroline 0

Downside of Self-Disclosure

This guest post was written by my sister Christina. Enjoy!

There is a rumor going around that I’m a bad driver. Weird, right? Since I’ve had barely a ticket (going 5 over doesn’t count, does it?) since high school. That’s been 6 years. 6 YEARS. Plus, it’s notable that 1 of those years was in the NYC suburbs, which may have the craziest drivers in the country. So why this rumor? I fear that I’m to blame.

I have gained a reputation as a story-teller, and many of those stories are about my own goofy life. If I do something funny, or stupid, or absentminded, I don’t mind at all, because it will make for a great story at the next party or family function I attend. I’m not sure how this started, but I guess a few years ago, one particularly funny story at a family get-together was about driving, or cars, or something like that, because now the family always wants to hear a “car story.” I’m happy to oblige, so I dig back into my brain to find something that I can make into a fun story.

Hmm, well, I did just get rear-ended by a guy that wasn’t paying attention last month- could that be funny? Well, it was really scary to me, so probably not the funniest story…

How about the time in college when my roommate and I weren’t sure how to jump a car and we accidentally switched the wires, and it was smoking, and the Cy-ride driver got out of the bus to tell us that shouldn’t be happening, and a week later my dad and brother spent like an hour trying to pull-start it around the neighborhood with a yellow rope before we figured out I had simply blown a fuse? Ahhhh, that’s a good one 🙂

So anyway, I love telling these stories. I love turning unfortunate events into stories for opportunities to make people laugh! The bummer happens when people make assumptions based on these stories- like that I am a bad driver. I guess that’s the downside of self-disclosure. For people that don’t publish their silly escapades for all to know, they can happily go on knowing that no one will know that they accidentally drove off with the gas nozzle still in their car (you know who you are :).) But for me, I guess it’s worth it.

My driving record speaks for itself, but how fun is it to read something so boring?

Posted on June 5, 2008February 6, 2013 by Caroline 4

Libraries are like Toys

My all-time aesthetic dream is this:

I’m sitting in a worn leather chair, holding a well-read copy of Treasure Island, in a quiet, lively room. The lingering smells of old pages, coffee, and a hint of cigar smoke rest on the outdated chairs, sofas, and end tables. Books of all thickness are scattered about, some in piles and others attempt neat arrangements on shelves that cover most of the wall space. Where there are no books, I admire the paintings and illustrations of names I both recognize and can not pronounce. I read the room like a map and always find places yet undiscovered. Conversations drift in and out as my industrious friends flip pages and consult encyclopedias. There is a calm frenzy to consume the limitless literary delicacies.

Dreaming? Most certainly. And, enter my frustration with the way things are.

I recently found myself in the middle of a delightful conversation with a friend about her hopes to become a writer, when I realized something.

It was advice C.S. Lewis gave about writing. He said something like, ‘In order to be a good writer, you must be a good reader.’ You must read good writing, in order to recognize good writing. Of course this makes mountains of sense, but less than molehills are made of this philosophy.

See, I don’t think very many people would disagree with Lewis. I think we are really good at talking about the importance of brilliant literature and dreadful at follow-through. Case in point: libraries.

Right now, I’m a boarder in a city suburb, so I’ve toured many new homes. It seems that the trend is to have an office/library somewhere in the front of the house. This gives the house a sophisticated and important air (nevermind the television shrine above the fireplace in the living room) that communicates status, knowledge, and an arrival of sorts.

What I find so interesting (and I see the same tendency in myself) is that these spaces are so rarely used! We collect the titles like Moby Dick and Pride and Prejudice, arrange them artistically, and there the story ends. We move on to more exciting ways to develop our intellect through “Dancing with the Stars” and “Iron Man” and “Grand Theft: Auto.”

It’s as though we’ve finally collected every beanie baby and now it’s time to move to the next trend – webkins anyone? Everyone (sometimes ashamedly) has the color-coded bins full of toys with no functionality or value except as an antiquated status statement. So, why treat the brilliance of literature like outdated toys?

Because we are still children. We are still attracted to what glitters and distracted by what makes the loudest noise.

My sad confession is that I make decisions opposite my aesthetic dream every day. I consciously decide the mind-numbing activity over the engaging. I also realize my dream is a romantic notion, but I know there are others who respond to the brilliance of fiction and the Truth hidden in history.

I just hope libraries – in their genuine function – never go out of style, because what is found there is far more valuable than trendy toys.

Posted on June 3, 2008 by Caroline 0

40 days to Life

So, about a month and a half ago I did the unthinkable. Well, the unthinkable for a dairy farmer’s daughter who grew up on steak and potatoes and pie. I went organic. It came about kind of a weird way- through church. This verse kept coming up- Philippians 4:8. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Originally I thought about doing this for what I put into my brain- trying to really put these words into practice in my life, and see how things would change. The more I thought about this 40 day challenge, the more food came to mind. It might just have been the mid-service hunger that hits me when I realize that I was in too much of a rush to eat breakfast, but food kept coming to mind when I was thinking about really living this verse. Like, what if I only put pure FOODS into my body for 40 days?

They say that 30 days is long enough to make new habits, and I had already decided that I was doing a 40 day trial for a Philippians 4:8 life, so right there in the service, I decided to go for it.
I left church with a spring in my step, pumped to get started on my new project. I started working moving my (HUGE) TV to the attic, and taking my 1st trip to a specialty health food store (only to find out later that it’s definitely the most expensive in town…).

I quickly realized I didn’t really know much about healthy and organic eating, but I knew that refined sugar, fake sweeteners, and white breads were probably a bad idea, so I started with that. No more diet coke for me! The first few days I went through hard-core withdrawal, missing my refined foods like a crazy person.

After the second day, I called my bff Tina’s mom, who knows about all this business. She suggested that I read a book called “What the Bible says about Healthy Living” to get a better idea of what pure foods we should be putting into our bodies. Well, this was just the direction I needed, and I tracked down that book as fast as I could, and started digging in immediately. So much wisdom I’d never known! And it made so much sense! The way that God made foods, that’s the way that they are meant to be eaten by his people! So simple! So I kept making these changes, more and more. Feeling better and better every day.

After a few weeks, I started feeling like I wasn’t missing out… but that maybe everyone else was. I mean, what’s more delicious than fresh fruits and veggies, and almonds, and honey, and well… I could go on 🙂 so now the 40 days have come and gone.

And I can’t imagine going back.

Call me kooky, but I’m in this for the long haul. I’ve fallen in love with my health food stores, my farmers market stands, the treasure hunt all over Des Moines for unprocessed honey. I’m head over heels for cooking and eating without worrying about calories, but instead thinking about health and nutrition. And I’ve accepted the fact that I’m in over my head in this hippie lifestyle. My next steps are making my own laundry detergent, finding un-pasteurized milk via the organic black market, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I joined a co-op soon.

This whole thing started out on a whim, but after 40 days I can’t imagine living any other way for the next 40 years.

Here’s just a tidbit of organic wisdom for you (courtesy USDA):

The U.S. Department of Agriculture found that even after washing, some fruits and vegetables consistently carry much higher levels of pesticide residue than others. Based on an analysis of more than 100,000 U.S. government pesticide test results, researchers at the Environmental Working Group (EWG), a research and advocacy organization based in Washington, D.C., have developed the “dirty dozen” fruits and vegetables, above, that they say you should always buy organic, if possible, because their conventionally grown counterparts tend to be laden with pesticides. They cost about 50 percent more — but are well worth the money.

DIRTY DOZEN- things you should buy organic only
Apples
Cherries
Grapes, imported (Chili)
Nectarines
Peaches
Pears
Raspberries
Strawberries
Bell peppers
Celery
Potatoes
Spinach
Other organic foods worth considering:
Milk
Beef
Poultry

Posted on June 2, 2008 by Caroline 0

Weekly Line-up

As the sun sets golden on this blazing hot Sunday, I wanted to give you a preview for what is coming up this week. We took a bit of a break the past couple days to make some very exciting changes.

Every week on foreignheart we will feature an interview, a creative exploration, life insight (what we’re into), an interesting anecdote, philosophy or religion, and a link to something we find interesting.

Each Sunday, we’ll send out a weekly line-up so you can anticipate the blog posts for the coming week – and this week you’ll find everything from an interview with first-time home buyer’s to a cunning (fictional) tale of life, as we might wish to live it. Hope you enjoy!

MONDAY
“40 Days to Life” by Christina
Meet Christina and her 40 day journey to understanding life in the most organic sense. Find out how her focus became less about 40 days and more about life.

TUESDAY
“Libraries are Like Toys” by Caroline
Ever wonder why books collect dust? Read about how our leather-laced libraries are just a grown up version of tonka trucks and barbie dollhouses.

WEDNESDAY
“The down-side of self disclosure” by Christina
Have you ever shared something that came back to haunt you? Read about Christina’s experiences being a storyteller and what it’s like to hear your words repeated… in the wrong context.

THURSDAY
“Home Sweet Home: Sitting down with First-Time Homeowners” by Christina
Buying a home can be scary! Read Christina’s interview with newlyweds Erin and Danielle, and find out how they are making their first home sweet.

FRIDAY
“Adventures of the Life I Wish I Led” by Caroline
Everyone has been asked the question, ‘What would you do if you could do anything right now?’ and ‘Where would you be if you could be anywhere right now?’ Well, what if you could live your life that way? Read Caroline’s creative journey to see where her fictional path might lead.

SATURDAY
“High on Life: Advice for Saturdays” by Caroline
Our Saturdays are often filled with resolutions. If you are like most people, it’s a struggle to make it happen. Read about what Caroline has found to make Saturdays count.

Well, that will wrap up our first week’s musings. We are so excited to open this little window into our worlds. We hope that you will leave your thoughts as we go along as well.

Posted on June 2, 2008 by Caroline 1

New! Exciting development for foreign heart!

I can hardly contain my excitement in the recent thrilling turn of events! My sister Christina (the clever, creative cat of former blog fame) and I have decided to merge our talents. This blog will no longer be the musings of one foreign heart, but TWO.

I already know she’ll harass me for pushing the sentiment, so let’s get to the real exciting part. We have been wanting to launch a website for a long time. Not just any website (of course), but one that would combine our creative energies and be a one-stop shop for both sides of the brain!

Of course, we are convinced we are different than all the other pages and writings and musings out there. And, if you are skeptical, well… then just stick around to see!

We will be having a soft launch of the new format starting next week. In the meantime you might see her doing a bit of blogging by way of introduction. We will be on a six day schedule that will give readers a wide variety of insight into two very different creative worlds.

Lest you think this will all be written in detached abstract (as I tend to do), rest assured that we will open a window into our daily lives and hope that you laugh as much as we do.

In the spirit of this new voyage, come sail with us!

Posted on May 29, 2008 by Caroline 0

foreign heart

So, it may be about time that I share why I chose the title, “musings of a foreign heart.” Some people have asked, and at times I found myself struggling to articulate. Not that I’m ever completely surprised to stumble over my words, but on this specific point, I would hope my mind, heart, and words would be in sync.

Let’s see, this blog doesn’t have a very long history, but the background does give a bit of context to this rather haphazard journey. When I was in my senior year at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, my sister inspired me with her creative blogging about the adventures of being a new graduate and NYC nanny. I began to think about what adventures I might write about… for I adored writing and aspired to be a great intellectual. Right around this time, there was a conference at rival Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was never so much into the rivalry, but the title is what caught my eye, “Faith and International Development Conference.” Oh dear! How do I combine those two passions?

The conference was a fantastic success. I learned a great deal from the outbreak sessions, speakers, and students. My outlet for processing has always naturally led to writing in one way or another, and with my sister’s cue, I started to explore what that process would look like on a computer screen.

On February 11, 2006, “faith and international development” was the first post.

I fiddled with the gadgets in blogger that held a dream-like charm. My childhood hopes to be an accomplished and published writer were quickly coming into view, via the new world of internet technology! Actually, these blasted things have done well to make dreams of ‘being known’ seem more accessible than reality affords. Nonetheless, off I went to make a name for myself as a ‘foreign heart.’

Why foreign? I am living as a United States citizen, you say.

My first understanding of foreign comes from my primary identity. In the Bible, we read that this world is not our home.

But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. 2 Peter 3:13

Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. 1 Peter 2:11-12

We will always will (and should) feel a mite strange living as we do in this skin and walking on this earth. God has promised a glorious inheritance to His children – apart from this world. In this way, I am glad to be of another land.

These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:7-9

Praise God, for He has redeemed us for His glory!

The musing, then, comes quite naturally. I’m not sure I had words to call it in my growing up years, but when I enrolled in Philosophy 113 with professor James Allis, I immediately found an affinity to talk of deeper things. I love conversations, literary works, and discoveries that challenge the mind and heart. And I believe God created us this way; in His image we are created with minds to probe and question and ponder.

Over the course of two years, ‘musings of a foreign heart’ has quite evolved (and sometimes not for the better). I admit a lack of vision, frequent rambling, and far greater focus on self then there ought.

I’m not really sure (naturally) how I will remedy these last concerns, but I have some ideas. So, be on the lookout, for this foreign heart may find a rhythm.

I’d LOVE to hear your muses! So jot ’em down and let me know!

Posted on May 29, 2008 by Caroline 0

holy heartburn; an invitation

pre-script: I have been doing some writing for the Gathering blog and so posted this piece there in response to Jeff’s Sunday sermon. Sorry for the duplicate!

As I listened to Jeff speak on Matthew 25:31-46 this past Sunday, I realized I drastically misunderstood God’s call for us to serve the ‘least of these.’ The severity of the passage is evident in the language, but the heat rising in my chest seemed like more than realization of the weight in such a responsibility.We heard about the overwhelming amount of ‘least of theses,’ awareness without action, and the passion of service.

overwhelmed
It just takes a brief look at some of the alarming statistics to feel the overwhelming wave.

Half the world — nearly three billion people — live on less than two dollars a day.^{Source 1}
More than 80 percent of the world’s population lives in countries where income differentials are widening.^{Source 2}
The poorest 40 percent of the world’s population accounts for 5 percent of global income. The richest 20 percent accounts for three-quarters of world income.^{Source 3}
According to UNICEF, 26,500-30,000 children die each day due to poverty. And they “die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world. Being meek and weak in life makes these dying multitudes even more invisible in death.” ^{Source 4}

I’ve had the conversation so many times with myself, “Seriously, Caroline, what can you really do to fight AIDS?” “Yeah, but I should probably help somehow” “But even if you help a little, the problem is so huge, it’ll never get better.”

How depressing! That’s the trouble. Instead of looking at the problems of the world and saying, “How can I serve?” we look at the problems and say, “How can my service possibly make a difference?”

Our focus is all wrong. We are accustomed to getting a decent return on our investments. I don’t want to be a part of anything that isn’t successful, so every time I serve I should be able to see results. But, wait a minute, does God call us to serve for success or just to serve unto Him, for His glory?

awareness without action
Jeff called us out. We all know – we’ve all read the headlines and watched the nightly news. We can’t escape the knowledge that there are people in need around the world.

“It’s not an issue about awareness for most of us … people watch the news and then go on eating their dinner”

So, if I do decide to break my routine and serve as unto the Lord, what really is the right action? Instead of gravitating toward popular movements and giant foundations, what if the right thing to do is make it as personal as you possibly can.

“Many people know about poverty, but very few know the poor by name.” John B. Hayes

When Jesus says, “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me,’” he’s talking about getting real personal. And, here’s the thing, it will be much MUCH more rewarding (for the Kingdom and for yourself) if you break your routine for personal service.

passion; an invitation
This holy heartburn I feel rising in my chest is not condemnation for all the times I have “gone on eating my dinner.” No, this holy fire is in response to the greatest of invitations. Service has, quite unjustly, received a bum rap because it appears weak to the world. Yet, what Christ offers in salvation is a share in His suffering and a share in His future glory.

The way we describe and define passion today is very different from its original meaning, which is ’suffering’ and ‘agony’ and to have compassion is to ’suffer with.’

Even as I write now, I’m feeling again the heat rising in my chest. And, now I am sure that service is not penitence. It’s not our payment for all God’s mercy and grace. It’s not piety. Service is an invitation to know God; to share in the sufferings of the ‘least of these.’

The Kingdom is already and not yet. And in this tension, God has extended an invitation to us to take part in HIS ultimate redemption story.

as servants.

So… if you dig this serving thing, check out Compassion in previous post!

Posted on May 28, 2008October 6, 2010 by Caroline 0

MUSINGS IN THE MIDST

a study in good work, neighbor love, and kingdom come