When I'm not riding in the backseat of my Grandpa's restored vintage car "Mable," I'm doing other things like...
rising to most adventure occasions my husband proposes /
chasing our toddler around Brooklyn /
enjoying neighbors, strangers, and friends /
making countless trips to the laundromat /
writing for various publications and for personal reflection /
loving and serving our local church /
cleaning the bathroom /
hosting small and big crowds in our home /
meeting up with a friend for coffee /
thinking
Vocation is my strange frenemy. Though I have worked and existed in many stations/places, I am convinced that each day has good work to be done and that I am equipped and prepared to do that good work.
This blog explores the tension and the intersection of a constant vocational call - to good work, neighbor love, and living in the kingdom come.
My favorite things are coffee and creating and laughing (preferably with company). I love to listen to sermons and read biographies and make tea before going to bed.
You think I’m kidding, but today sealed the deal. Here are some of the things today that overflowed my cup:
I drove to school instead of rode the bus, which perfectly placed about 8.5 extra minutes to spend with David in 1 Samuel
I ran out of coffee filters at my house, but savored a Vanilla Chai tea… delicious start!
I met the day with uncharacteristic (before coffee), silly joy and greeted students with grand gestures and lopsided smiles.
During our mid-morning break, I was heading back from an errand in the administration building, secretly hoping two certain, special students would be waiting in my office… and THEY WERE. I think I scared them with my loopy-ness and laughter, but I don’t care. I love it when I find students in my office… especially when the special ones appear!
CHAPEL happens Monday and today was such a blessing! I am sure many of the seniors won’t admit it, but they want to know about hearing God’s voice. That was exactly the message!
Then, I got to counsel one of my favorite students using a SWEET analogy about records playing in our heads. Sometimes we’ve let the record of lies steal the show and we listen to it over and over and start to believe all the foolishness it plays. We’ve got to put that sweet record called Truth on stat and then you better believe we’re gonna speak and act out of that life-giving overflow! I’ll admit, my favorite part was connecting it to a Corinne Bailey Rae song, “Put Your Records On” because every time I saw her I broke out into singing.
I love that THIS was shown to remember our time at the SLEEPout!
then…(drumroll) it’s MONDAY so that means culinary collision with two of my favorite ladies! I seriously can’t explain how beautiful and brilliant these girls are… so I won’t try. Just read this blogpost and you’ll get a little taste of the night (not a real taste, but a cyber-ish one:).
I love praying in my car on the way back from Monday baking dates. Shoot, and I just have to say again how much I love these amazing high school girls. They may/may not be changing my life (mostly may).
I may/may not have consumed too much caffeine today (mostly may), which means I might be up writing for awhile!
Today, as I walked home from church, a bold, yellow tree blossom painted itself against a cloudy blue sky. The sun was hiding, so I reveled in the splash of color contrasting the browns and grays of the city street.
Then, I went to church and worshipped to the (arguably overused) song “Come, now is the time to worship” and claimed such joy in the lines, “toda lengua confesará que el es Dios, las rodillas se doblarán, y un tesoro eterno tendrás en el, si escoges su amor.” (every tongue will confess that He is God and every knee will bow… the greatest eternal treasure is in Him, if you choose His love)
After hearing a sermon about the great wickedness of the people at Babylon – they wanted the praise of men and the security of a city – God used their great sins of pride and self-preservation to fill the earth with a diversity that would come back to bring glory to Christ. What the people did was evil, but the way God uses it points to His sovereignty and His design for all peoples across all nations and languages and tribes to know and bow at the name of the Lord. There’s more, of course, but you’ll have to listen to the sermon yourself.
Then, my friend Eduardo preached on Jeremiah 29:1-14 and I saw again the broken record of our sin – revealed in Israel’s treatment of Jeremiah’s 23 years of prophecy and warning. They still didn’t obey! But, in Jeremiah 29, God reassures His people that He has not abandoned or forgotten them. He is faithful and His promises are true. Though the people may not live to see it, His promises indeed will be fulfilled. In the meantime, they are to work, live, and add to the culture and community of this city where they are foreigners.
I started to think about our condition on this earth. If we live worrying about God keeping His promises, we will not have the heart or mind to serve as He has called us. If we live only looking for rescue out of a situation, we may miss opportunities to see His power and presence exactly where we are (even if we’re in exile).
So, as I was walking home and spotted that bold yellow bloom on the tree, I thought how brave it is for a bud to bloom – with such a short life ahead. It has only a couple weeks of beauty and then it falls to get trampled on the unforgiving sidewalk. Even creation sings that, though the days may be evil, there is reason to burst into bloom and rejoice – for restoration WILL come!
Our faith should lead to bursting blooms today! Well, I’m off to read the Heidelberg Catechism (which I consider quite fitting on Reformation Day!) and craft awhile. I hope you are going to
I’m not sure why, but this song was playing in my head as I sat down to write today. I just lunched on my version of a Honduran staple – baleadas (substitute wheat tortilla, take out salty cheese, add salsa) – and now I sit helplessly waiting to hear back from students who are probably sleeping and completely unaware that my afternoon plans somewhat hinge on their replies.
In the meanwhile, I want to bring you up-to-date on some of the happenings here. In my typical, completely disconnected fashion, I’m giving it to you straight today about baking, meanings of words, and a strange desire to start a movement.
LovE CakE!
I’m still marinating on this idea of baking and sweetness and life and tasting … yesterday was the last day of chapel and I spent the morning hours (prior to 6:30 departure) baking up some serious pumpkin gobs with butter/cream cheese frosting. A week of creative treats for the seniors who bring their Bibles to chapel almost wore me right out, but there is a beautiful, redeeming quality to what some women painfully label a chore.
This redeeming quality to laboring in the kitchen is not the look on people’s faces when they eat your hard-won creation (though I’ve found I often make them eat it in front of me so I can see a reaction) nor is it the exclamations of delight and the serious battle for second helpings. The redeeming quality is an empty tupperware at the end of the day.
I (quite haphazardly) stumble onto the school bus in the morning in professional garb, toting a backpack and the familiar tupperware container with secret treats. By the time I get to school, I usually have frosting or chocolate or some unknown ingredient stuck to some inconvenient place. But, back to redeeming qualities…
The tupperware goes out from the house full and comes back empty. Every single one of the little, labored-over creations has found its place and that knowledge only finds me right back in the kitchen to make it happen again. What joy! Check out this video that my friend Kasey Miller (who, by the way, is one of my favorite inspirations in the kitchen!!) shared… this will make you want to LOVE CAKE too!
gracia and gracias
So, my word study on “pan” and “paneh” might have failed, but I’m very interested in the connection between the Spanish words, “Gracias” (thank you) and “gracia” (grace) and I think this will lead to something more conclusive. Both words are derived from the Latin root “gratus,” which means “beloved,” “agreeable,” “favorable,” and “pleasing.”
I was originally interested because at the Micah Project sometimes we just spend time in prayer thanking God for His character. Many times, this will come up, “Señor, gracias por tu gracia!” Maybe no one else takes notice or thinks it odd, but whenever I hear that, I wonder about the strange and beautiful connection between gratitude and grace. When we say thank you, we are responding to an action or a gift or something we have received. Gratitude is what happens (or should happen) after receiving something good. We feel strange accepting a gift or complement without giving something back, so we express our gratitude by saying, “Thank you.”
Here is where I get really interested… why do we use almost the exact same word to describe unmerited favor? The Miriam-Webster dictionary (and many Christians) gives the first definition for grace to mean what is received from God and that which allows one to have faith in what Christ did on the cross.
So – back to that Latin. If the Latin says, “pleasing, beloved, agreeable,” and “favorable,” why am I stuck on these two words? Well, if we say “thank you” because we have received something, that person or persons have become (in some way) beloved or agreeable to us. What is AMAZING is that we have done absolutely nothing to please or become favorable in God’s sight. Even our righteous acts are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6), but God called us “beloved” and showed us “favor,” though we came with nothing to deserve this response.
WOW!
starting a movement
Everybody is making movements these days, so I thought I would throw in my two cents about what deserves “movement” status. Maybe it’s because I’m sitting here waiting for a student to tell me if she does/doesn’t want to meet for coffee (though she told me for sure yesterday) or maybe it’s because I’ve been around young people long enough to know commitments are … fluid at best and often motivated by bad information.
So, I’d like to start a movement. The movement will be called, “we care and follow through with things that matter.” I know – it’s not very catchy right now, but I think I could hire some serious PR and those flaky kids would really start jumping on board. Well… they would jump on board if the message was so diluted no one knew exactly what kind of movement they were joining. But, they would join for sure, eventually. And, by that time the whole purpose of said movement would be moot (case in point).
That’s my point.
It is very easy to get kids fired up about things (there are many, many broken things to bemoan in this world) and very hard to get kids fired up about searching serious answers followed up by serious action. I’m not talking extreme, here, folks. I actually think things get extreme when we get distracted by flashy PR campaigns and people telling us what is important and what to do about it.
I guess it would be refreshing to see a youth movement with, as my high school history teacher used to say, “fire in its belly.” Everything from coffee dates to mission trips to environmental debates would be informed by something solid – something true and absolute and transformational. Let me know if you know of one and I’ll scrap the whole idea.
For these bars, I added to the bottom crust, because many bakers suggested a smaller pan. I needed the quantity, so I just increased some of the proportions. Also, I used whole wheat flour and added peanut butter to the second layer. I skipped the chocolate on top because they were already very sweet. It was a HIT!
For these cookies, I didn’t really follow a recipe. I had chocolate chips, peanut butter, milk, oatmeal, vanilla, and spices on hand, so I made my own combination and we’ll see how they go over tomorrow morning.
Just in case you are wondering, I’m planning a big hoorah for Friday that will involve my favorite ingredient for this time of year – PUMPKIN!
I’ve got dream bars in the oven (with a variation that has me puzzled about cooking time), I’m munching on tortillas with sun-dried tomato hummus (the strangest before-bedtime snack I’ve ever been a part of), and I’m looking at what I picked up at the grocery store: fake milk in a box, chocolate chips, powdered sugar, pumpkin, and oatmeal (wondering why these are my first purchases after paycheck), and I’m thinking it’s a strange day.
Oh, well. I’m sure you have those days too. Nothing especially wrong or out of place, but you feel like you are moving around in someone else’s skin and it’s just uncomfortable. At this point, all of you who haven’t felt this way have at least one eyebrow raised. Which, I guess, is kind of my point.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with everything I want to do or read or hear or say or know and I go into overload mode. Hm. I imagine this is what a baby bird might feel when it first discovers its wings. There are so many endless possibilities – so many adventures and birdies to adventure with and trees and clouds and…
then there’s that typical picture of the not-yet-ready-for-flight
birdie falling clumsily from the nest.
There’s no better way to explain than to give a few examples, so here they are in NO particular order:
I really want to know if there is a connection in the Hebrew word “paneh,” which means presence and the Spanish word “pan,” which means bread. We’re studying the story of David right now and when he ran from Saul he stopped and asked for bread from a priest who only had holy bread on hand. This bread was called “paneh” because it was the bread of the Presence. I thought, how neat would it be if there was a connection because Christ (the Word) became physically present and is the bread of life. I have searched and can’t make sense of etymologies in several languages… The farthest I got led me to some Polish explanation of Mr. and Mrs. (which is pan/pani).
At what point are liberties counterproductive in recipes? I mean, a little more butter, flour, and sugar would naturally just increase quantity, no? And peanut butter always adds value, right? Tomorrow we will find out! I’m sincerely hoping that my scheme to encourage “Taste and see the Lord is good” (Ps. 38:4) leads them to understand GOD is what the need to taste! (More joy and satisfaction, less tummy-ache!)
Why does pride always wiggle its way into the category of “self-preservation”? That is a lie through and through.
I hope with every hope in my heart baking becomes drastically cheaper.
I have been reading an absolutely amazing book called, “Competent to Counsel” by Jay E. Adams and I love how he challenges the excuses we make for personality by saying, “It’s just who I am.” We are in a sanctification process, here, folks – there’s no settling for “just who I am.” So, I started to wonder (out loud) about how I should change my personality… what needs refining? I was wondering this and talking to my friend Sarah, when all of a sudden I wondered if I could still do the splits. I paused, slinkered down as far as I could and then popped back up above the countertop and said, “not quite.” She burst out laughing and then she said, “More of that. You should definitely change your personality to include more splits.” I don’t know…
There’s this student. She is amazing, beautiful, inspiring and God is transforming her right in front of my eyes. I’ve never had a front row seat to something so spectacular! I mean, here I am, sitting next to her just listening to her talk with such seriousness about faith and plans. But, it’s not just fluffy, future talk. This girl is making it happen in her life the way some kids can only make it happen at summer camp or youth conferences. I’m just thinking, “What’s up with this?” God is SO amazing to be working and restoring and growing such a beautiful heart! And I get to watch? WOW!
I want like crazy to sew an owl costume right up for Halloween, but I’m not sure where I would go with it… which makes me want to have a costume party at my house, which reminds me of the mammoth weekend of 4 am sushi-making chaos that is barely a week behind.
There’s a crazy urgency in me to take each of these seniors by their ALP uniform shirt and shake them a little bit (friendly, of course) to make sure they know how much I love ’em and how important it is for them to know how much more MASSIVE God’s love is for them. I just want them to get it, as my Dad used to say.
I talked to my mom on Sunday and she added the greatest news – Dad finally sold the calf that was the Lord’s! I know it sounds strange… in fact, every single person I told today asked for a repeat. Buying and selling calves makes absolutely no sense to people outside the farming/cattle industry and that’s okay. What you should probably understand is the way God is using my Dad’s hobby operation to bless people around the globe. This time, he gave the calf to the Lord and said the money would go to Honduras. What joy I had as I wrote in a large sum under the current total of money raised by the sleepout. Praise the Lord!!
Oh, boy. Now do you understand a teensy bit more? My brain is like a crazy factory! It makes crazy all day, non-stop! I think I should tone down on the coffee.
It’s now 10:17 pm and I hope this day found you less strangely inclined.
let LOVE fly like cRaZy
this is an example of some serious STRANGE happening!
Please enjoy these pictures from the sleepout last Friday. I know these can’t possibly tell the whole story, but I hope you get the idea: a LOT of joy happened.
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And, as icing on the cake, 6 Micah boys got baptized this past Sunday!! Praise the Lord
I’ve been listening to Piper’s series on spectacular sins that he preached back in 2007 and they’ve kind of been blowing me away. The idea that God’s sovereignty means that absolutely everything… even evil falls under His control. Yesterday, the sermon was called Fatal Disobedience of Adam and the Triumphant Obedience of Christ. God was not surprised when Adam sinned… in fact Adam was a type (foreshadowing) of Christ. Just as sin was brought into the world by one man, so salvation came through one man – Christ!
Jeremy Larson is, to be honest, lucky to have a fiance like Elsie. She’s got an amazing thing going on at Red Velvet Art and A Beautiful Mess … really inspiring what she can do with crafts and art and good ideas. Larson, himself, is a strange secret as a musician. Strange because he shouldn’t be, but the fact that he still is somewhat of a secret makes it all the more exciting to discover his complex melodies.
Little Birdie Plush tutorial – Now this is a great project that I fully intend to start soon! I would love to make a whole legion of these little birdies for Christmas gifts!
Our newly formed and not yet officially begun Book and Philosophy Club is setting off to a curious start with the book, “God’s Middle Finger,” written by a British journalist traveling through the Sierra Madre in Mexico. Interesting… can’t wait to see what’s up.
Brooke Fraser pleasantly surprises us with her new album, Flags. It came out the day before my birthday and I splurged. I’m certainly glad I did – especially for the songs, “Flags” and “Crows & Locusts.”
You want to be relevant?? you want to contextualize the Gospel? Check out this URBAN audio Bible! I’m just going to say it: I love rap. I know this might be a surprise, but I’m not talking about the big names necessarily. I am just saying that I love the way you can string words together and weave them with rhymes and rhythms and… well, anyway I love rap. And, I love the Word. So many times we convince ourselves that we need to make the Word more inviting or exciting. The Truth is – you cannot add or take away from its power. I love how rapping the Bible could help you commit it to memory.
I have a friend who lives in Philadelphia… and she knows Josh Schurr. When she mentioned him in her status on facebook, I thought it was about time I checked him out. He’s got an EP on bandcamp and itunes.
“Every contact you make with everyone you meet will help them or hinder them on their journey to heaven.” C.S. Lewis
If C.S. Lewis is as trustworthy as I believe him to be (and of course he is), then this statement is worth the many times I have re-read it. It’s got the “spit out, if lukewarm” severity hidden in between the words that describe our relationships in two ways. There is no in-between. Only two options: helping or hurting someone on their journey to heaven.
That’s a pretty strong statement, Clive Staples.
Every single contact? Like, the gas station attendant and the beggar and the person who just passed by my window selling avocados, potatoes, and yuca? Every contact with everyone I meet has some kind of eternal echo?
This past Friday, about 40 ALP students/staff stayed after school for the SLEEPOUT event. After the last buses pulled out of the campus and headed out on their regular routes to drop off students, Micah Project met us at the soccer field to begin our night of fun, fellowship, worship, and service.
Here are just a few pictures. This is a taste of a longer reflection, but I did want to say that Lewis’s words confirm my thoughts that on Friday we definitely helped each other (across lines of economic status, reputation, background, age) on our journeys to heaven. May God be praised for the way His children came together as one body!
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If CS Lewis can make strong statements then I can, too.
Today is resistant to productivity and accomplishment (I resent that, Tuesday the 19th… just so you know).
In direct rebellion, I’m believing I can do something worthwhile with “my own two hands” … you know, like Ben Harper and Jack Johnson sing about.
If you are a doubting Thomas… let me give you two examples. (Please, just bear with me – this is a very necessary internal Tuesday therapy session).
Example #1 CAR BATTERY
Last Thursday after Bible study stretched from 4 to 5 to 6 pm (to my delight, I might add), one of the girls threw out the idea of sushi. Because we had a track meet the next day, they weren’t going to school and I am always in favor of time spent in fellowship and community (and sushi), I jumped at the chance. Elena, Vivian, and I took off in Louis (my affectionately named 1997 Honda Civic) toward a delicious dinner and we were not disappointed. Disappointment did find us a bit later, though, when I realized I left the lights on and Louis was completely muerto. So, after calling Elena’s dad for jumper cable assistance, and after several failed attempts (where I watched grown men attach the cables backwards), we finally revived Louis.
All the while, I have to tell you, I squeezed every bit of humor out of the situation. It was so comical… the fact that I parked in the worst way for a jump, the fact that the parking lot faced all the restaurant/bars just starting to pick up the night traffic, the fact that these things (without fail) nearly always happen to me, and the fact that merely three days before someone had told me to purchase jumper cables before doing anything else. Well, humor aside, it was another adventure to store away… especially because the next morning, when Louis should have been charged and ready to go, he was muerto once again.
I did what any capable, single lady would do… marched right to the nearest (trustworthy) battery vendor, looked up my make and model in their handy book, and bought a battery. Then, I took out the old and installed the new – with my own two hands.
I had car dirt up to my elbows, but when I finished there was very clear evidence that something was accomplished – bad battery on the ground and good battery in the car. Louis started right up! (And, just in case you are wondering, I picked up jumper cables and emergency kit in the same trip).
Example #2 26 going on 15
You’ve heard of the movie 13 going on 30, right? Well, this past weekend I decided to put my own spin on it, after turning a dreadful 26 years old. I decided I would be 26 going on 15. In a many ways, my body feels 15 and I certainly act like some of my students at times. This weekend, I somehow proved I am neither clearly 26 nor am I still clinging to 15. Starting early Saturday morning, I began prepping for the big night – senior girls coming over to my house for my belated birthday party and sleepover. Cleaning, rearranging, grocery shopping, cooking sticky rice for sushi, baking apples, clearing the living room for the karaoke action, and whipping up some ice cream cone cupcakes…. this completely filled my day until Elena arrived at 5:30 pm.
With my own two hands, it felt good to transform our patio into an oriental escape and watch my normal house turn into a sleepover dream! As the girls came (one by one, Honduran style), we flitted from food to games to karaoke to youtube tutuorials to games to sushi-making to laughter and then everything all over again. I was confident in my 15-year-old body when 3 am came and went and didn’t phase me one bit! And then at 4 am, we were making more sushi rolls in my kitchen!
Then 4:15 hit and my body revolted. I slept fitfully on the tile floor and roused myself for the first one to leave at 7:30 am (yes, it’s true). When I walked the last one home around noon I returned and collapsed on the couch. I thought I would listen to a sermon, which I quickly realized was a really bad idea. Three hours later, I woke up and realized I am definitely every bit of 26 years old. I cleaned, cleaned, and cleaned… with my own two hands I put back together the humpty-dumpty state of my house, overrun by a large group of flailing high school girls.
So, I don’t know if I got to the part about “peace on earth” and “a brighter place” and all those other nice things they talk about in the song, but I did a few things with my hands this weekend and that is giving me consolation for feeling like a bumbling misfit today.
Yes, folks. My post today is mostly pointing to inspiration instead of giving any, but there are more important matters… like planning for this weekend’s SLEEPOUT event to raise money for the Micah Project and cleaning up after a crazy weekend…. and enjoying many uninterrupted cups of coffee, accompanied by Miike Snow, Joy Williams, and Brooke Fraser.
I guess my stories about changing a car battery, learning to jerk in my living room, and making sushi at 4 am will have to wait for another day very soon!
MUSINGS IN THE MIDST 