Tag: God

give yourself away

Today was a day that made living “a la orden” (see also here and here) a beautiful, precious gift! I sang a few songs at an all-school assembly this morning and then picked up a trumpet for a third. The band teacher, Dave, is pretty good about affirming gifts in other people… and when he found out I could play trumpet a few years ago, he hasn’t let me forget it’s a gift I should be sharing. And I can say I’m glad he hasn’t!

Then I had several conversations in my office where I said several times, “I’m going to be honest, okay?” and I just got down to the nitty gritty and it was completely received on the other end. Lately, I’ve been asking for recommendation letters from colleagues and several of them mentioned my abilities to meet students where they are. With that kind of affirmation, I’ve got to make it available… and when I do, it’s like EVERYBODY wins! I’m using my gifts (God-given), students are getting blessed, and God is getting the glory!

So then, there’s this other ability people have pointed out called “you’re crazy!” ….. Don’t laugh! I really do think it’s a gift!! I get SO much energy when people revel in joy. It’s CONTAGIOUS. Anyway, people call it different things, “ability to relate,” “crazy,” “energetic,” “young” … and, well, I’ve got to use that gift to the glory of the Lord, right? Because it’s only him that’s allowed me to be so willing (at the cost of awkwardness and embarrassment) to go all out in search of joy! Tonight we did just that. Our plans changed a zillion times, but the mission trip kids (after riding down the mountain in the back of a truck) ended up in the mall doing a scavenger hunt of my devising. We arrived out of breath and sweaty at our final destination with hilarious stories and pictures to share.

I LOVE IT. I seriously LOVE being available and not because I feel so important, but because I know anything good in me is the Lord. Anything I have worth sharing is the Lord’s … I am not my own! And when I share the gifts He’s given, I receive SUCH JOY and blessing to see Him at work!

Today is a day for rejoicing! In terms of routine and calendar, we were a bit early to be blaring “Because He Lives” from our trumpets this morning at the all-school assembly. But in terms of the Truth of Christ’s power over the grave we were every bit right on time. I love to proclaim with my whole heart God’s victory over the grave because it is my victory as well. I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ … so I will be joyful in victory and joyfully available to share my gifts so that His victory over the grave might be boldly proclaimed! It’s truly more blessed to give yourself away.

Today marks the beginning of Semana Santa and I can’t wait to see what other joys the Lord has in store!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy!

Several of my students have a new “favorite” song and I am equally joyful at its truth as I am at their excitement about it! It’s a perfect preparation for this week:

Posted on by Caroline 0

more stories of God’s faithfulness

I’m just going to continue the comparison to a monument from earlier today. The ways God works and reveals Himself in our lives are like stones we pile up into mounds. Then, we can look back in the hard times and remind ourselves who the Lord is and His crazy faithfulness throughout history.

 

our TEAM from ALP

 

 

Read from Hiroshi about his experience:

First of all, I want to thank God for the mission trip. I want to thank all of you as well for praying for us while we were in this mission trip and for helping us financially so that we could be part of this trip. The mission trip was one experience I will never forget in my whole life. I am so happy I had the chance to be part of the group in this mission trip and be able to serve others and share the Word of God. So many amazing things happened in this trip that I don’t even know were to start.

The most important thing in this trip was how we were used by God to plant the seed in many people´s lives. As we were evangelizing, people opened their hearts with us and they were really nice and allowed us to spend time with them. As we were sharing, we learned how each person had some sort of problem and how they needed someone to help them. We were able to share how God is always with them and how they don’t have to do this alone. The most important thing was how we were able to tell them that accepting Jesus Christ in our hearts is the only way to receive salvation and how good works doesn’t get you to heaven. Even though they didn’t take the decision to accept Jesus and follow Him, we can be happy that we planted the seed and it’s their decision to receive that seed or not receive it.

Evangelizing not only helped other people to know about God, but it also allowed each one of us to learn a lot of things and grow in our relationship with Him as well. As we were sharing with all the people from the town, we learned how this people have all these struggles and we have all the resources to live, but we forget how blessed we are. It allowed us to remember how God is always taking care of us and how we should always give thanks to Him for everything we have. We should let our pride aside and realize we are nothing if we don’t have God. Evangelizing was one of my favorite experiences in this mission trip because I had the chance to talk to many people and learn things of them.

While we were in Valle, we had the time to spend some time with many kids in the orphanage. This was a really special experience. To see how this kids show love to each other and how they are always happy even when they don’t have all the resources is something that makes you want to cry. As we had a special night with all the kids, we were able to play some games and do some skits for them and share some testimonies. Once again, God used us to plant some seeds in many kids. I know that many of them took a decision to want to follow Jesus and change their lives.

Having the opportunity to serve by doing work projects, evangelizing and be with kids is something I wouldn’t change for anything. God blessed us the week on the mission trip and he used us being imperfect people to accomplish his perfect plan. Having the time to spend some time with the PCA people and have fellowship with them was something I wouldn’t change for anything as well. I had the opportunity to learn many things through them and knowing them helped me make new friends that love Jesus Christ as I do.

I am really thankful with every one of you. This mission trip has been one the best experiences I have had in all my life. While this week finished, I am more motivated to grow in Christ more and more and serve him every day of my life. I know that if every one of us being Christians serves in different places, many would know there is a God that loves them and wants them to be saved. I want you to now that I am really really thankful for helping me be part of this trip. God made amazing things during this week and He will continue to do His work throughout your lives and all of us here who are willing to serve the lord every day of our lives. God bless you all and I hope He keeps using all of you in many ways.

Wow. If this doesn’t motivate you to

let LOVE fly like CRAZY

I don’t know what will!

Posted on by Caroline 1

making a mound o’ blessings

Remember in the Old Testament where the Israelites were constantly messing up and then God showed Himself merciful? It seems like quite often after a lesson was learned, the people built a monument – to remember how far they had fallen and how beautiful God’s great hand swooped down in rescue. I love that idea of monuments we would construct to remember the work God has accomplished in our lives.

For me, these stories are our monuments… a bunch of little stones piled up in mounds to make our monuments of blessings. Hopefully, we can look back at these stories and praise God for who He is and how He works through us when we make ourselves available to Him.

Check out what Daniel has to say:

So I am home now that the mission trip is over, and I am getting to understand just how great of an experience this mission trip was. It was great to get to know the PCA group from Dallas – they were each very special people. They helped make the whole journey special and worth the effort. I look back and I learned so much in so little time, and with the smallest things.

One thing that made me realize just how fortunate we are and how easy it is to help and give love was seeing the delight in the kids’ faces when we played games and gave them prizes. They were filled with joy and energy and each of them appreciated what we were doing, which feels great. Another moment engraved in my mind happened during the Tuesday night event. We had tons of pizza to give out for free, and some was left over. I remember when one of the guys gave a lady a full pizza, and the lady was SO thankful for that! She probably needed it to give food to her family. Moments like that are what make the trip worth it.

Another thing that I just thought of that I really liked is how both groups of students, PCA and ALP, bonded together as a family, and everyone looked out for each other and worried about each other. One specific example that I give is when we were swimming at the beach in Tela. We were all in the ocean and there were pretty big waves in it, and we were swimming over them and under them for fun. One of our girls was not the best swimmer around, so we always kept an eye on her to see how she was doing. Then a wave came and threw her around, and then when she got up another one hit her straight away. When we saw this all of us swam toward her and picked her up, and one of the guys carried her to the shore.

I guess that this is a reflection of your spiritual walk in life. You are in a vast ocean, and waves (trouble) often come and take you down, and they will keep you down if you are not careful enough. However, if you have friends that are near you and look out for each other, they will help you stand up and face those waves, not alone, but together. This is just a little idea that came to my mind as I wrote this, and it reminds me of Proverbs 27:17, which says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” So now remember, you are not alone. Help is always found, especially when you are a Christian and trust in God to aid you. Be that helping hand to others who are struggling, and they will be there for you when you need them.

Beautiful words this morning! Here is a short photo montage of the trip that we will show in chapel. It is by NO means a full summary, but it’s a taste.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 1

On Loving God

Honestly, my knees wish I was writing, “On loving icy hot…” but I resist (so if you have any pointers for fooling your body into feeling younger LET ME KNOW! Apparently 20 minutes w/0 heels and a large glass of orange juice is not the cure).

Instead, I’ve got this quote on my brain,

“Why should not the creature love his Creator, who gave him the power to love? Why should he not love Him with all his being, since it is by His gift alone that He can do anything that is good? It was God’s creative grace that out of nothingness raised us to the dignity of manhood; and from this appears our duty to love Him, and the justice of His claim to that love.”
– St. Bernard of Clairvaux

Must we always ask and rebel and shake our fists when we are struck by humanity’s brokenness? I love the words, “Why should not…”

I love that these words invite me to think of all the reasons I shouldn’t … and that I come up with nothing. We must start here, at God’s creative grace that raised us to the dignity of manhood, if we are ever going to end up talking about justice and injustice – if we are going to talk about our delight and duty to love Him. We must begin with the question, “Why should not the creature love his Creator, who gave Him the power to love?”

Well, I may just have to leave it there to rest, before I start making applications about the cookies that just came out of the oven and how they should love me because I created them.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 0

pride is a big, fat thief

Sunday, I posted the song by Thad Cockrell called, “Pride won’t get us where we’re going” and I love this line,

When I lose my vision, will you lend me your eyes… to see exactly where I need to be.

It must be something… this pride. I want to make cute jokes about it, but the reality is it’s ugly. I’ve been thinking a lot about all the ways pride is like a thief. Without regard to the damage, pride steals our friendships, our families, our minds, and our affections… and then destroys everything completely.

This is an idea that’s been making a tortured trek around the hamster wheel in my brain recently. Maybe it was learning Sunday night that the brother of one of the Micah boys (and only sibling) was stabbed and killed, or maybe it was the re-introduction to one of my favorite soul-destroying films “Dancer in the Dark” or maybe it was a handful of conversations about the downward spiral of affluent youth worldwide… I’m sure of this:

the tragedies don’t stop.

I’m always trying to make some sense of things and so could I just process what has seemed to settle in my gut? I’ll take that as a yes. Bear with me… these ideas are not completely formulated.

On whatever end (or middle) of the socio-economic spectrum we find ourselves, I am starting to think what makes a person most desperate is certainly the same. We all know the feelings of humility, shame, and fear.

Unfortunately, the most ready weapon is itself destructive: pride. As John Piper‘s sermon was still marinading today in my mind, I thought about the two different groups who found themselves stuck in unbelief in John 7:1-24.

  • Jesus’ own brothers asked Him to go up to a party and present Himself in all His glory, with pomp and circumstance. They wanted a parade – someone they could walk behind and maybe stand a bit in the shadow of His glory. What they didn’t believe was that He was bigger than an entrance at a party or the praise of men.
  • The Jews didn’t believe in Him because His presence indicted them. Their lives were brought to account in His presence. Every righteous act felt less right in the presence of One who could do no wrong.

Both, Piper said, were blinded by pride (and, as a result, unbelief). I guess I’m just wondering how many sins we can really trace back to the root of pride.

  • I think of a recent conversation with students about 12-year-old pop singers with near-adult material with eyes ‘innocently’ set on a crash course toward success.
  • I think of the young girls here who are married at 12 years old to 20 or 30somethings who have very little understanding of love.
  • I think of the constant worry involved in “future plans,” lest a student or adult choose a less comfortable path.
  • I think of the person who is completely unaware of the layers of life surrounding him because he is so deeply involved in what he will do next.

Well, folks, we’ve plumb lost our vision. And I seriously think we’re seeing the results of our unbelief. We are proud – so proud – that we want Jesus around for His fame and VIP pass, but we don’t believe His presence can save us. We are proud – too proud – to admit that His deferring way of pointing to the glory of God is to us a lifeline, not a noose.

Instead, we’ve chained ourselves to the world’s ugliest attractions in hopes that we will find both significance and righteousness. God help us!

Pride is a dirty, devious thing. I suppose that’s better reason than any to

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 2

an overflowing kind of full

Today I had such a beautiful conference with a student. After a lot of round-a-bout talk about ways people disappoint us, we broke it down into my two favorite categories:

1. what I can control
2. what I canNOT control

It was easier to start with number 2, so we made a nice lengthy list and felt confident we weren’t leaving much out. Then, we agreed all our worry and anxiety over what we canNOT control is only creating more worry and anxiety because (of course) we can’t change it.

THEN my favorite part: we talked about all the wonderful things we can control and how powerful those things can be. We can control what we think of people, how we respond to people, what we say to people, how we look at people, and also what we think, say, feel about ourselves… we went on for awhile discovering what is in the realm of our control before I asked her how in the world she could have the power to choose these things if she knew she wouldn’t receive the same in return.

She fumbled a bit. (And I did, too, honestly. It was one of those I’m-counseling-you-but-I’m-getting-alot-out-of-this-too moments.)

I asked, “Who fills you up so you can do all those things you just said? It’s true you can control what comes out, but how?”

In the oh-so-typical response, she said, “God.”

Something clicked in that moment and I got really excited. Yes! God does promise us life abundant (John 10:10) – an overflowing life – when we come to drink from the well of Living Water (Isaiah 55:1).

When we come to Him and ask to be filled He doesn’t mess around. He doesn’t measure things out and make sure we’re filled just up to the brim. He doesn’t even bother with showing off His sweet design of hydrogen bonding (you know, when water bulges on the top of your glass but doesn’t spill over).

what happens when hydrogen bonds in water

When God fills us it is ALWAYS an overflowing kind of full.

always an overflowing kind of full

God offers everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). His is the only Love great enough to give without hope of receiving. When we choose to seek Him and be filled, our lives will always, always spill over with a Love greater than our selfish desire to be loved in return. The overflow will bless everyone within our reach and our joy in seeing His Love touch others will only motivate us to go back and be (over)filled again!

I can truly say my heart was encouraged as much as hers when we parted. This student is a gem, to be sure.

And you? are you going to the ONLY place offering true, overflowing life? You do know that is the only way you can

let LOVE fly like cRaZy
right?

Posted on by Caroline 2

where suffering meets joy

Here’s a little piece I wrote for the guidance newsletter this month:

My friend went to Kenya in 2008 and found himself surrounded by refugees displaced by civil war.

We all marveled at the pictures and listened to his tales when he returned, but after a while, we found ourselves again caught up in our lives layered with routines and more “important” matters. His experience was forced to fit into phrases like, “Oh, yeah, when you were in Africa…” because we didn’t have time for deeper questions requiring deeper answers.

As we step into this Christmas season, much of our discomfort results from crowded checkout lines and shopping cart traffic jams. Our culture presses in to define this celebration with catchy tag lines and guilt-ridden advertisements enticing us to add another gift to the cumbersome pile.

The joy in the angels’ announcement that filled the sky at Christ’s birth is somehow reduced to greeting cards and cavalier “Happy Holidays” thrown around like plastic swiped in those nifty little machines.

Scan of a Christmas greeting card.
Image via Wikipedia

Is the subject of your holiday adoration worthy of all the discomfort?

As I examine my own motives for crafting homemade gifts, my mind wanders back to my friend who went to Kenya. Maybe we moved on so quickly from his experience because being near to someone’s pain brings a certain suffering to our lives as well.

Thinking about Kenya beyond the powerpoints and post-trip Q & A is… uncomfortable, and we have a tidy way of stuffing uncomfortable stories in the attic while we stuff stockings over the fireplace.

Though we often set them against each other, suffering is not opposite joy. Christ, who for the joy set before Him, endured the great suffering of the cross. When we open our lives and hearts to let the Spirit move in us, we will experience some of the greatest suffering and most abundant joy.

Christmas is both a time to celebrate the joy of a Savior and a time to long for Christ’s appearing as the only response to the suffering around us.

The closer we walk with those who are suffering, the more we will wonder at God’s joy in this season. Who will you choose to walk beside this season, sharing their pain? Great joy awaits, dear sojourner… GREAT JOY!

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 1

Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me

sophia means wisdom

I wrote this for the past newsletter and thought now was an appropriate time to post as a blog entry. This past week has been hard. Hard and good. It feels like this piece is just as appropriate today as it was a month ago. Not surprising, I suppose.

 

Maybe it’s the early darkness in the evening or the brisk whip of the breeze… Maybe it’s my imagination of ocean in the air or maybe it is because at this time of year we are all looking for a safe harbor. For whatever reason, my soul’s compass is scanning the shoreline. Whether I’m careening across placid waters in the early morning or waging war against waves in the middle night, my heart is heavy with need.

At times, it feels like I’m bailing out water in the middle of a downpour with a colander. Other times, I rush the bow to flail my arms wide, trying to take in all the beauty at once. What fails to change with emotions or season or temperament, is need.

If I’ve learned anything in my (just recently celebrated) twenty-six years and in my two and a half years here in Honduras, I have certainly learned life is unpredictable. In so many ways, the unpredictability thrills me, like what a ship’s captain must have felt at the start of a journey. This uncertainty also leads me, sometimes gasping for air, straight to the One who holds all things together, singing my favorite song of this season, “Jesus, Savior, Pilot me.”

Reading through 1 Samuel has trained my eyes once again to see God’s faithfulness illuminated against whatever treachery the high seas might heave my way. What I find so beautiful about both the song and the story of King David is very simple: history.

Every single day David crept about in the wilderness, hiding in caves and seeking refuge in foreign cities, God hemmed him in with history. From the intimate times in the mountains as a shepherd to the lop-sided duel with a giant, God’s character remained perfect and unchanged. As David feared for his life and spears flew just shy of his ears, he was keenly aware of his need to depend on God and trust He would be faithful.

My favorite lines in the hymn are several verses down,

“Though the sea be smooth and bright,
Sparkling with the stars of night,
And my ship’s path be ablaze
With the light of halcyon days,
Still I know my need of Thee;
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.”

What David learned in his desperate days he brought with him into the calmer, halcyon hours. In the same way that our need of a Savior never changes, God’s place as Savior is forever.

God is ever behind and before us, not contained by time or our understanding or physical place. God is altogether outside of the evil crashing up against the sides of our vessel, yet intentionally and intimately involved in our safe passage and final destination.

It is history that reminds us of God’s gift of our beginning breaths, of our failure and God’s faithfulness, of our rebellion and God’s invitation to repentance. It is history that boasts the best and only hope in view of our ever-pressing need… a Savior.

I love these stories we carry around like mental felt boards, ready at any moment to reassure us of both our heritage and our inheritance. When we are caught unaware amid boisterous waves or settled back on our haunches, it is history that assures us that no captain ever possessed more power to truly say, “Fear not, I will pilot thee.”

please, let’s

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 0

back from hiatus

That’s right. I took a hiatus – an “interruption in the intensity or amount of something” – from the blog. I know this means I did everything wrong in the eyes of the up-and-coming blogger. Consistency is key! Well, feeling real life on my fingers was key for the past four days and maybe you’ll just take my word for it.

In the case that you’d rather read a few words, I’ll indulge you with some snippets. In short, I get overwhelmed sometimes. I looked up the definition for overwhelmed, because I love words, and 1, 2b, 3, and 4 seem appropriate.

o·ver·whelm  (vr-hwlm, -wlm)tr.v. o·ver·whelmed, o·ver·whelm·ing, o·ver·whelms
1. To surge over and submerge; engulf
2.a. To defeat completely and decisively
b. To affect deeply in mind or emotion
3. To present with an excessive amount
4. To turn over; upset

Before my mom starts to worry about an impending nervous breakdown, I don’t think “submerged, affected deeply, presented with an excessive amount of something, and turned over” are altogether negative things.

It’s just too much.

Well, here are the snippets, anyway. Some are good and joyful and some are sad and painful. Maybe you can take all the overwhelming pieces and make sense of them.

  • My light bulb in my room is burnt out and I don’t seem to have the right multi-tool (which I was convinced could fix anything) to unscrew my complicated ceiling light), so I have been crafting for the last few days on my floor with the light of my computer and a desk lamp. I’m a little worried about the following: the color combos I am coming up with, my failing eyesight, the way I insist on spreading everything out around me and then bending over it for hours.
  • Watercolor. It’s amazing! Where has it been all my life?
  • The Christmas decorations have now been up in Tegucigalpa for a good, long month. Christmas songs are streaming out every speaker and you won’t find me a bit disturbed. Whoever made the rule that Christmas can’t start until after thanksgiving obviously never considered that, “Come, let us adore Him” is a year-round invitation!
  • I want to write. Sometimes I want to write ideas and notions so badly that I can’t touch a keyboard for fear I won’t do the idea justice. Words are so weighty. They are heavy and cumbersome and I love them. I wish I could find the space to fit the bulky words that have taken up residence in my soul. I’d love to park them somewhere nice.
  • We are in the final stretch for our Operation Christmas Box. We’re doing our own version of Christmas in a shoebox for the beautiful children of Amor y Fe y Esperanza. I’m so PUMPED!
  • I’ve got chocolate glazed pumpkin cookies cooling in the kitchen and 31 amazing seniors to deliver to tomorrow. Yep – THIRTY ONE seniors brought their Bibles to chapel today. My prayer is that the Word would be ALIVE to them. I watched and then chewed through this message by John Piper on Sunday, “Holding Fast the Word of Life” and I want more than anything that we would hold fast to the words spoken by the Creator of the Universe! “He is the Vesuvius of joy” and we turn our heads and say it is boring. Ouch.
    Here is an excerpt:
  • I hate sin. I mean I really hate it. I know this isn’t a surprise, but this week it was closer, raw, and ugly. I hate sin that causes families to break up and the sin that causes sons and daughters to hurt and the sin that leads girls to believe lies and the sin that prevents me from being at all useful. I hate it.
  • I’m still mulling over ideas about art and beauty. This is certainly one of the topics in which I’d gladly submerge myself, but I can never quite put the pieces together to write about it.
    I love this quote from contemporary artist Makoto Fujimura about art and culture,”We have a language that celebrates waywardness – but we do not have a language to bring people back home.” That’s kind of “it” in a nutshell, I guess.
  • Another thing I don’t mind being submerged in is God’s promises. Whenever I’m faced with hardship or a tough conference or the gnarly sin sneaking in to steal joy all over the place, I remember. I remember God is sovereign. He is good. His plans are never thwarted. Yep, I’d like to be daily “presented with an excessive amount” of His complete sovereignty.
  • Guess, what? THANKSGIVING is this week! I’m super-duper pumped to throw my thanks everywhere. I’m planning a Thanksgiving dinner this Friday for my senior ladies, which will involve a monstrous amount of baking. I’m also super pumped to set up our own version of a drive-in movie in someone’s backyard.
  • Last, but not least… tomorrow is the first-ever pep rally led by the first-ever pep squad coached by first-ever coach (you guessed it) me. I’m pretty sure this is the first time in history that someone is trying to calm high school nerves about a high school event at the ripe old age of 26! I almost couldn’t sleep last night, because I’m just sure the girls are going to get out there (they have absolutely no idea what they are doing) and then run off and I’ll be left to animate the crowd with my antics (which are usually reserved for small dinner parties!). Lord, help us!

Well, there it is. A comeback from a hiatus heaped up high with the verb “overwhelm.”

If nothing else, I pray this night finds you

letting LOVE fly like cRaZy

Posted on by Caroline 4