My sister says I’m cheesy. I like to say I’m sentimental. Whatever it is, it’s got me in tears right here in my office. I just put all my office personal belongings into a small copy paper box.

“Tengo miedo.” Those are the only words I could speak through the tears after the Spanish service on Sunday. Pastor Omar and a small group formed a circle and prayed over me. My friend Rosario, who has the sweetest of smiles, reassured me that they would be praying and God would watch over me. I don’t think I have fear (tengo miedo) because I doubt the Lord’s provision, I am quite planning on Him actually. I think my fear and confusion comes out of a kind of duality I feel leaving this place.

I tried to explain it last night when I had dinner with some students (and now friends:)… I am definitely looking forward to this next phase in my life – looking forward to the work God will do in and through me – looking forward to the lessons I will stumble through – looking forward to adventure and a bit of the unknown. But at the almost exact same moment, I am definitely attached to the kindred spirits I have found in Austin – the community of believers – the mission field at this University – the co-workers – the landscape – the friendships.

I know that probably makes no sense. My friend reminded me that when I delight in God, He gives the desires of my heart (Ps. 37:4), and then I had to say I guess I’m confused why my desires are so exclusive – to stay and to go.

Tonight’s a great argument for “stay.” Instead of a sappy going away party, we had a talent competition just my style!! I waged performance war at the first ever Southside’s Got Talent talent show. I performed in a gymnastics trio routine set to the music “I want you back,” by Jackson 5. And I also sang a duet, “Changed for Good” from WICKED with my friend Katelin. The song, if you haven’t heard it, comes as the two express their close friendship, but decide to go separate ways. I’ll played Glenda and Katelin sang for Elphaba. I’m so glad it was an upbeat night – I don’t think I could have taken any more emotion. There were tears, but I tried to keep them to a minimum.

I thought I would want to post pictures, but this little video beats everything else out. Watch and see how Katelin and Jimmy own this routine. They didn’t have the lifts of Team Reed, but they were tearing up that grass patch!

WHOLE WHEAT/ OAT BRAN PANCAKES

2 cups whole wheat/ oat bran flour blend
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs, well beaten
2 cups milk
1 teaspoon honey
2 tablespoons olive oil or applesauce
I add in about 1 teaspoon each of ground flax seeds and wheat germ too

Stir together dry ingredients. Add eggs, milk, and oil. Stir until dry ingredients are moistened (batter may be lumpy). Cook on preheated griddle until bubbles form and edges start to dry. Flip and cook until lightly browned.

I’ve been making whole wheat pancakes for about a year now, and frankly, no one really wants to eat them with me because they are very, well, whole-wheaty. I think I found the solution this a.m. when I used my new oat bran mix flour. It’s basically unbleached, unenriched whole wheat flour, and oat flour mixed up. I swear these pancakes were as light and fluffy as any white flour pancakes- so delish. Plus, look at the ingredient list. All healthful ingredients- love it 🙂

Also- my roommate moved out today. The house is too quite and empty, so I’m blasting praise music and making piles all over the house trying to utilize all the new space to get some organization back in my life.

If you are spending time today trolling the blogs- check out my new friend!

My Charming Kids

Okay, so I couldn’t think of another “p” word, so I just used peril. .. I thought it would give this post an illusive, mysterious tone (completely undeserved as you’ll soon find out).

I’ve been running around like a crazy fool lately, trying to get ready for my most Southern move yet. Per instructions from my future employer, all my things must fit in boxes equaling no more than 30 cubic feet, specifically labeled and every item inventoried (so that it can make it past the x-ray machine). This has led to an all-out inventory of all my belongings, which has been quite the ordeal. It didn’t take me more than a night and a half (which thrilled my inner-minimalist), but still, to look at everything on paper is kind of sick. I have so much stuff.

Here’s a picture of my packing thus far:

I packed the bedspread and pillows right off my bed!

In other preparation news, I have been spending some decent time in patchwork Spanish conversations with my housemate and her guests from Colombia. The 8-year-old Paula just laughs and shakes her head when my efforts frustrate her.

I’m also trying to study the psychology text I’ll be using. I have the unfortunate tendency to get way ahead of myself, planning activities before I fully read the content.

Well, this must be short. The only peril I face right now is fitting everything in! Today and tomorrow my office is getting painted and I can’t be in there for the fumes. Tomorrow I’m having a morning worship service at Mt. Bunnell with my friend Joy and then going to Fiesta Texas with Adela, Losmarina, and Paula in the afternoon. I’m gearing up for a long day.

If you’re interested in my adventure in Tegucigalpa and want to follow along in my journey, I do have a website: Adventures in Tegucigalpa. Don’t expect anything spectacular, or even ordinary. I just wanted to make information about background, updates, PDF newsletters, pictures, and other interesting tidbits available for those who were interested.

Okay, for those of you waiting for the political unraveling I hinted at earlier this week will have to wait a little longer. Christina and I want to make sure to do some more research before we take any philosophical position. But, in perfect patriotism, I joined several thousands of Austinites to watch fireworks over the lower Colorado River.

I sat with my friends Lydia, Scott, and my friend Shyle from San Diego in front of a most entertaining older couple. We heard the expected exclamations throughout the show, “Oh my! Look at the blue!” and “Wow, it’s still sparkling!” and “Oh, look at that one!” and “Ooo that one is pretty!” There was a certain, short-lived comraderie established walking amongst the masses to and from the Lamar Street bridge. It’s an amazing thing, really – living in the city among so very many people. People of all kinds and shapes and backgrounds and worldviews. There is a reason why revolution often times starts in cities – in part the sheer number of people and in part the ease and necessity of gatherings. Hmmm… a thought for further reflection.

With Shyle in town, we’ve been doing a lot of walking (which I LOVE) and falling into conversation along the way. On one wandering, we started talking about how lovely it is for friends to meet for discussion. The more we talked, we found ourselves saying, “Oh, I forget the name of that author…” and “What’s that movie?” And we wondered if in a few years our memory would be so dependent on technology that we couldn’t actually hold intelligent conversations without it. Scary, isn’t it?

Makes me want to turn things off and get out more. Speaking of getting out – today Shyle, Lydia and I went to the Farmer’s Market and then spent the afternoon floating down the Guadalupe River.. the adventure ended with about 20 minutes of downpour, but such is what memories are made of, right? Then we came back to Austin to see the infamous bats flee the Congress bridge by the millions.

We about to continue our adventure, but I didn’t want to go too long without an update. I guess this has little really to do with patriotism or any singular theme, but it is an update nonetheless.

Oh! And before I fail to mention it, we had a pretty close encounter with a ‘star’ last night. I took a picture of my friend Scott with her – Mischa Barton – I guess she’s on the TV show “The OC.” I don’t really know her, but apparently other people do. She looked very normal close up. You know what they say…

Tomorrow I will hopefully get a lineup out for you!

I’m feeling a bit depleted tonight. I’m not altogether sure why. There’s this strange cycle (and don’t try to tell me it’s menstrual) where every once in awhile I find myself in the same rut. Different surroundings, different circumstances, but the same old rut. The rut is kind of a mental thing. But tonight is one of those ruts, I guess.

Today I was reviewing the staff manual for Pinares and some things caught me a bit off guard. I’m not really sure how I’m going to get everything boxed, labeled, and sent to Miami by July 25… or how I’m going to arrange all my finances here in the States… or how I’m going to get all the teaching materials I need… or how I’m going to even know the teaching materials I’ll need… or where I’m going to stay for the first two days I am in Tegus.

Lots of unknowns, I suppose. But, I don’t really think the unknowns fuel the depleted feeling I get when my strange cycle lands me in a rut. Like I said, the circumstances are always different.

The depleted feeling comes when I let other things steal my joy. There is pure delight in the Lord, but I alone decide whether to enjoy this precious gift or offer it to idol thieves.

I actually ended up going back to Bethany Camp for the campfire last night, so I couldn’t post yesterday. I’m just going to do a quick re-cap of both days, although it’s dreadfully difficult!
I wrote this first part yesterday.
Reporting live from Bethany Camp in country-town, Iowa.

Today was a GREAT day! I know I only get to see the campers a little bit, but they are sure a joy. Today we talked about testimony, because missionaries give an account both of the redemption story and of their own personal redemption. I shared a bit about my experience in Poland teaching English at a family camp. I talked about the overall redemption story and the awesome wonder that God also wants to be personal – that we each have a personal story as well. I shared a bit of my story then asked a counselor to share his. Then the campers split up into pairs to answer some questions about their stories – who is Jesus to them? close, distant, friend, stranger?

I was so encouraged by the conversations – again very thankful for the amazing staff. I got to hear some of the campers share their testimonies later on at the campfire and praise God for His hand in their lives!

Day Four
Today I felt both delight and burden. This week has been more than I hoped, but also entirely draining. I meant to do so many other things during my time in Iowa, but I time escaped me. This morning during missionary time I nearly lost it. I was sharing that missionaries are broken people – no more put together than you or me. I never once met a perfect person in Poland, nor anywhere else on the mission field. Never once. I shared Psalm 32 as a bold reminder of the freedom and refuge offered us as believers. The world will deal some hard blows – but He is our hiding place.

It’s hard to sum up this day – especially since I feel so emotionally invested. I guess I was most moved when I asked if any believers wanted to be commissioned – sent into their areas as missionaries. About half the campers came forward and the counselors laid hands and prayed for them – that they would go out with boldness and proclaim Christ. Not a hundred speeches could be as effective as those kids being faithful to the call. Amen and praise God.

Here are some pictures I gathered from the week. Enjoy!

Well, another day of sweetness out on the hill northeast of Brayton. These junior highers are getting some amazing teaching – in the morning from Ken Jordan and in the night from Casey Groves. I have such respect for both, who are passionately communicating the heart of God to these precious youngsters.

Yesterday in missionary time, we talked about what a missionary might pack in their luggage. Today, we talked about what the missionary would say once they arrived. The campers broke up into teams and with only duct tape they were given the task to create a tool that would communicate the Gospel message – from beginning to end. Why do we ever doubt creativity? Given a little encouragement, we shouldn’t be surprised to see great ideas.

Well, each group was certainly unique. One of the groups brought in some wood structures that were taller than I was! I’ll post more pictures tomorrow.

All in all, another great day. I can’t say how impressed I am with the counselors – truly blown away by their commitment and energy.

Tonight we (my faithful mom and I) spent making packages for the final day. All the ideas in my head never seem that hard, but it sure has taken some time to put everything together!

Well, the first day of junior high week at Bethany Camp was fantastic. I love the energy at camp – the open air, familiar setting, and outstanding counselors probably have something to do with it. Each year I come back, I get hit a little harder with the homebug. There is so much irony wrapped up in my doing the missionary lessons at Bethany Camp. Bill and Treva Turpin started the camp years ago after returning from their missionary post in Indonesia. This faithful pair has paved the way for an amazing ministry and inspired many to pursue missions (myself being one of them).

I was so wrapped up in the day and missionary lessons that I forgot to take pictures, until swimming time. Today was a momentous swimming day at Bethany Camp as well. For the first time EVER the campers got to swim without leaving the property – the donated swimming pool is operational! Here are a few pictures of the event. Enjoy!

Director Extraordinaire (and my sweet bro!)

I’ll write more tomorrow!
Goodbye from Bethany Camp,
Caroline