I slept at my neighbor’s friday night


The explanation is too much for 10:30 pm to handle, but I will give the short version. Friday night we had an outreach event for 7-9 grades. The theme was video games (I have no idea why) and we were supposed to come dressed as characters. I (having no knowledge whatsoever and am still truly thankful) decided to dress as Mario and I recruited some 9th graders to join me in my shenanigans (below).The night was beautiful. Crazy fun times playing games, lots of laughter, almost 70 kids showed up (a surprise from the mere 20 that actually signed up). A valiant 9th grader gave the message about what it means to understand how great our Father’s love is for us… and how we should move on from merely speaking our salvation to experiencing the abundant life God is waiting to give us. Everything – even the bus ride down the mountain – was beautiful.

And then I walked the short distance from the street to my house and realized I didn’t have my house keys.

My roommate was gone and wouldn’t be back until very late.

Oh, yes, I’m still in my Mario outfit.

So, I leave my two bags at my neighbor’s house (with whom I’ve exchanged merely neighborly conversation) and set out to waste a bit of time at the grocery store. Until it closed at 9:00 pm.

I sat out on the stoop for awhile. Thinking, dozing, and wondering if I looked like a homeless person.

Then at 10:20 I finally realized it would make much more sense to wait inside than out, so I rang my neighbor’s bell. I knew they were awake because I’d been hearing the television the whole time I was on the stoop. They are a bit older and like to listen to their TV slightly above a ‘reasonable volume.’ So, in I went to watch Spanish dubbed movies and drink peach sweetened tea until 12 midnight when we kind of looked at each other and said, “well, what should we do?”

Long story short, I slept in their spare bedroom (which hadn’t been used in years). During the whole ordeal, I was thinking “how awkward is this!” But, you know what? I was also thinking, “Man, I live here. I really live here and I really awkwardly spent the night at my neighbor’s house.” I kinda dig it.

Oh, I must add a little note: Yesterday, I met up with three students to make sushi and then conspire over Christmas gifts (www.adventconspiracy.org). We started at 12:30. I got back this morning at 8:30 am. Whew!

Tonight I will sleep in my bed!

a night as ONE

After a solid day-long hibernation yesterday, today I was ready to re-enter the world of social outings and easy conversation. But, had you tried to rouse me or engage me in any sort of way yesterday, I couldn’t have made any promises of my attentiveness.

The weeks (and months in the idea-in-my-head kind of way) leading up to Friday, October 23rd were packed with questions, preparations, and lots of battles against worry. In the course of these weeks, I felt constantly compelled to apologize with the words, “I’m a visionary.”

Sometimes (okay, many times), I look ahead to the glorious, vague notion of “what could be” and then work haphazardly toward its realization. I used to think I was organized… you know, with color-coded plans B, C, and D in proper order. I used to think if I had enough discipline and spoke with enough authority, that inner, organized leader in me would prevail. Well, come to find out, the inner, organized leader I so hoped to uncover was quite hard to find.

Now, I don’t lie to myself. Instead, I say, “I am a visionary, like my dad.” I know it doesn’t get me off the hook, but I hope that it does bring in all those around me to keep me accountable and ask the right questions.

All of that to say, being a visionary turns out to be a lot about being humble. Holding your plans loosely, holding schedules that are slippery like jello, and trusting that however it turns out is the way it was supposed to go (even if it looks nothing like what was in my head). Friday night was just exactly that – not at all what I pictured and absolutely a work of God.

Micah Project and the Transition Home (ministry of Orphanage Emmanuel) joined us in the afternoon and we spent several sweaty hours playing soccer on the field. Then we moved into the gym to several stations – prayer room, letter-writing, and learning stations. The kids (in small groups) walked into the prayer room and prayed for the Micah boys and the girls from the Transition Home by name. They wrote letters to our Congress here, explaining the purpose of the event and asking that they might concern themselves too with the needs of those living on the street. Then, they had fun with the challenges at the learning stations: creating a sculpture out of bottles and cartons, creating an outfit out of scraps of fabric, creating a game out of found objects.

We took every opportunity to teach our theme verses, from Matthew 22:37-40

“Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as you love yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

We united together, as neighbors in Tegucigalpa and loved one another through playing games, making jokes, laughing, and sharing joy. Our dinner was simple: hot dog, chips, soda.

We listened to a band and then joined together in worship. The sound reverberating in the gym was pounding in my head with all my worries, but when I looked around, the unity I saw was beautiful. After the singing died down, with prayer we ushered in the presentations of the two organizations, who shared testimonies about their work with children who grew up on the streets or were saved from a childhood on the streets.

When Becca (from Micah Project) asked Wilmer and Marvincito what their dreams were for the future, their answers made a huge impact on all of us gathered. They said some version of this, “When I get older, I want to help the kids who were like me – poor and on the streets without hope.”

Wow.

We prayed for the organizations, laying hands on them and then they in turn prayed for us. This exchange remains imprinted on my heart – that we are called to both give AND take as part of the body of Christ. Just as we were ready to move out onto the soccer field for the campfire, the electricity died in the gym. At that moment, walking out onto the field illumined by the fire’s glow, we were one. We were really ONE: one family, one community, one love. We crowded around the warmth of the flames and we sang. We prayed. We gave thanks. We were one.

And then we dispersed to our flimsy little cardboard beds (which quickly became a community event as well – for warmth!) for the night.

Though not all the students that came were born-again believers, I think we all got to see a little glimpse of what God might have in store for the future – worshipping, playing, loving, and enjoying life… together.

The morning came early enough and I was glad (especially for reasons of liability) that everyone made it through the night. We packed up and cleaned up and with almost every step I wanted to find a corner to collapse into. But, God be praised, I made it, too!

I will be praying for many more nights like these (and God’s power to sustain us to do His work).

mmmmHMMM

this is what birthdays are made of:)

messages from friends
hugs
surprise breakfast on my desk in the morning
balloons
smiles
laughter
more hugs
cards
kind words
driving around with students
laughter
more messages from friends
picking up students for dinner
dinner with students and teachers
laughter
pictures
smiles

oh yes, and how could I forget? my birthday outift, courtesy mom and dad (or is it just dad?)
I received a package in the mail a couple weeks ago with these tops and I realized I also wore pants and shoes my dad found at thrift stores. 🙂 love my dad.

AND. I cut my hair last night (students finished off the back today after school! I think it looks alright:)

what a happy happy day!

do you know what love is?

Unfortunately, I will not take the time to expand on my many philosophical ideas about what love is. I just want to give you a picture of a couple of people that I think do it pretty well.

This is one of many pictures I took for Macayla and Melvin on Saturday… and I have to say there are few things like being invited to share in the celebration of love. I really admire and respect both Macayla and Melvin – because I know that together their desire is to serve the Lord more passionately than they ever could have apart.

here is the joy

Okay, fine I’ll just tell you. Her name is Alejandra; I know I’ve mentioned her before. In my previous post, “wish words were better” she was the source of my joy. After a whole year of looking way too desperate to be her friend (some would say that my dedication to high school girls is because I’m desperate for friendship), Alejandra blessed me with one of the best conversations so far this year.

And, even better, I am beginning to see more beauty unfolding every day! Alejandra has this mysterious joy about her and she is always ready to bring out smiles and laughter in others. I haven’t figured it out yet, but I also know that there’s a lot brewing on a deeper level. She is a thinker and a questioner and now a pursuer of Christ. I am so proud of her bravery and every bit of her unique spirit. I can see that her pursuit will delight the Lord in so many ways.

She reminds me (in such a beautiful way) that I need to keep fighting… that I need to be sharpened… that I need to be humbled… that I need to be honest… that most of all, I need to be so knee-deep in God’s Word that I’m content not to get out. She reminds me of these things because I want to serve and lead as a sister in Christ in the best way. And I know I can only do that through the power of the Lord.

making baleadas

If you ever find yourself in Central America, called to work at a Christian school… And if that school has only been in session 12 1/2 days due to swine flu and political crises… And if that length of time spent outside of your work (without seeing students’ faces) forces an inner struggle with purpose… And if that inner struggle turns into a more tangible questioning… And if all of this builds to an unaccountable climax, you may wonder what to do.

May I suggest making baleadas?

Emily and I ventured out today and walked the streets, which seemed strangely normal. Everything from traffic to hot dog stands to stocked produce shelves at the grocery store. It made yesterday seem like a day-long dream.

Taxi drivers still sat in the same spot by the hospital, shirts folded above their bellies and mothers still walked arm-in-arm with their grown daughters down the street to catch the bus. Furniture stores were still selling furniture and our favorite frozen yogurt place still sold frozen yogurt.

My brain quickly tired of trying to come up with explanations of why everything looked so… normal. We finally made it back home and I guess we both thought we’d like to turn our minds to the kitchen to tackle something important and patriotic… like baleadas.

Wikipedia says the name baleadas comes from either the bullet shape of the bean () or a legend that a woman making them was accidentally shot (bala means bullet). I’m not sure where the name comes from, but the taste is absolutely delicious. I’ve had baleadas at some of the most “local” places in the city – on the street in Guanacaste and at the stadium market – and I definitely appreciate the flavor. My neighbors from church also invited me over for baleadas one Friday night and I got to see the whole process unfold right there in the kitchen.

Well, I know we didn’t do everything right. And, to be honest, the result was probably not near as “Honduran” as I let myself believe (could that be due to the fact that we got all of our recipes online instead of from a wise, aging Honduran neighbor?).

Here, I’ll invite you to see our “normal therapy” today:
Emily started the beans YESTERDAY. That’s right, they took over 24 hours. I think we picked up the wrong beans at the store yesterday, but who could blame us? It was mayhem! I think she added garlic, chili powder, and cumin. After soaking and cooking them forever, she smashed and then blended them, adding a little oil.
I looked up directions for tortillas (something I was convinced everyone said was super easy, but I would find to be hard) and decided I would master it. Of course, I am doing whole wheat tortillas because I’ve got to try to make these things healthier because they taste so good. I found a recipe with five ingredients and simple directions (thanks sarah pachev). I added my tortilla-pounding skills from my church friend Maria, who used the brim of a plate (for uniformity, of course). After making about five, I realized why those women in the market sweat so much, with their hands constantly over a skillet!

Then, on to the eggs. Emily cut up onions, red peppers, and green peppers, and then I cooked them in a bit of oil and added tomato paste and water (we didn’t have tomatos). Then we added eggs and minutes later we were all through!
I know this doesn’t sound like a big accomplishment – refried beans, eggs, and tortillas. But, the big test is tasting the Honduras in everything. Because it’s not just beans, eggs, and tortillas… it’s way WAY better.
I think the baleadas was just the antidote our minds needed tonight. You know, I’m appreciating more and more this perseverance I see to do normal life, amongst very abnormal circumstances. Baleadas was the most normal thing we could think to do tonight after four days of uncertainty, no school, and mounting questions. Baleadas just felt right.

And tonight, after we heard we weren’t having school again tomorrow, we knocked on our neighbors’ door to ask the family of three if they would like to have dinner with us on Friday night. You know, because that is normal and this is life here, with or without demonstrations and school and my own understanding of purpose.

Honduras, land I love

Many of you are probably already aware of the situation here in Honduras. If not, please read as much as you can from as many news sources as you can (preferably some in Spanish) so you can understand the fullest story. I don’t want to re-hash what you can read in reliable news sources (see: http://www.online.wsj.com), but I would like to share some pictures I’ve gathered from the internet and the news sources I’m reading/consolidating to get my information.

Before all of the chaos of Mel’s return, graffiti and demonstrations were the extent of tensions here. After his arrival, the graffiti/demonstrations have climbed to extremes and so have the tensions.
This is an example of what some of the Mel supporters (La Resistencia) are doing on the streets. Mel’s return, he rallied his supporters outside the Brazilian Embassy with the words, “I am here for the restoration of democracy,” which I think should seem strange to many people, because it is exactly democracy that calls him to account for illegal acts. He also said, From now on, nobody gets us out of here again, so our position is homeland, restitution, or death.” Apparently, he is prepared to die in an effort to again become president of this country. I wonder what good that would do us – a very determined and a very convicted, dead president.

The police, admittedly a rough lot, have united with the military to try to contain the violent protestors. They are using tear gas and water cannons (at least that is all that is being reported) to keep vandalism and violence at bay. Though we would hope the military has only the best interest of the common citizen in mind, it is likely they too have their own agenda and methods to end the unrest. Some of the Resistencia seem to have little care for who their actions effect. USAToday reported that some protestors stormed an ambulance and attacked three Red Cross workers, accusing them of being part of the coup. Meanwhile, the UN delivered hot dogs to Zelaya and supporters inside the Brazilian Embassy (msnbc reports) because, of course, nothing else was available in a city under curfew.
On Monday, the city of Tegucigalpa began this curfew (which basically means we are confined to our houses under the threat of being detained by military if we leave) at 4 pm. Originally, the curfew was to be imposed until the next morning at 7 am. On Tuesday the curfew was extended to 6 pm that night and then until the next morning. We were reading as many reports as possible when we could get an internet signal, as we do not have cable, and in one report I read that Honduras is losing $50 million every day its citizens are not allowed to work.

Though Emily and I live in the city (and within 7-10 minutes walking from the Brazilian Embassy), our neighborhood has been very quiet. We learn about the riots from friends who call worried about us and our location. We were somewhat skeptical of their reports until on Wednesday we were allowed out for a window of time in order to get groceries and visit the pharmacies. As we drove around the city – with the rest of the curfew-abiding citizens – we were surprised at the patience (at times) combined with fear we saw in the people.

(One of my students took this picture in a local grocery store, where her family had gone to get the necessities for an undetermined amount of time. The store ran out of sugar, eggs, bread, and all the staples and the people were starting to get in a frenzy. When the cart came with bread, the shoppers became out of control and people were crazy to secure a loaf.)
We later learned that Mel supporters had not only stormed several grocery stores in the previous nights (where curfew was imposed), but left them vandalized with broken windows and nothing on the shelves. They even went to the extremes of digging up rocks on the cobblestone street to throw at cars parked on the streets and in parking lots. They moved on to gas stations and fast food restaurants as well, even taking the little money collection bottles at the counter intended for “Kids with Cancer.” (Cadena Nacional – a local news station reported this with footage I cannot find)
Originally, we believed the government released us from the curfew because it would be extended (and the nightly news then reported) indefinitely after we secured food and medicines. Now, however, we speculate that we were encouraged to get groceries because of the irrational nature of the Resistencia. We woke up this morning, Thursday, and the curfew was not extended. Though this was a surprise, the only reason we can see is that those of us acknowledging the curfew were not the people making trouble. The mob of protestors who ignored the imposed curfew was only growing and the problems were increasing the past couple nights. The government wanted us to have access to groceries before the mob stormed more grocery stores and made more chaos in the streets (that’s our guess).

Though I’m sure I do not understand the whole ordeal, I do know that Zelaya is being encouraged by what he calls the “international community,” basically Venezuela, United States, Brazil, and Nicaragua. However, without the support of the United States, many speculate the Zelaya’s return (commended as valiant by Hugo Chavez) would not have been possible. As the Wall Street Journal reports, the persistence of Obama, Clinton, and other international leaders to bring Zelaya back into power is absurd if not embarrassing. Though an official, current Honduran Constitution is hard to come by, we do know that Zelaya’s actions warranted a response. The response his Congress chose, though it may not have been best, may have been one of few options. And, now that we see the tension and unrest resulting from Zelaya’s presence here, we might more fully understand their desire to have him exiled.

Reports today from Bloomberg.com say Zelaya is now telling supporters that he knows of a plan (by the current government) to storm the Brazilian Embassy and kill him, claiming it was a suicide. Michelletti’s office, of course, denied these claims and pointed to these extreme statemtns as Zelaya’s methods to incite the mob.

I could go on and on, but I encourage you to do your own research and then join me in prayer. Though I am definitely not in favor of Zelaya, I know there is corruption on many if not all sides in this crisis. I have friends and students who believe (though not in favor of Mel or the violent protests) the Resistance campaign is only calling for due process and adherence to the Constitution laws in full, not only when it benefits the other party. Unfortunately, this is not a crisis where we ask, “whose side are you on?” but one with complicated details that begs the question of lesser evils.

PRAY
Please pray that Christians will unite as one in prayer. Also, as we are kept from school these past three days, pray for the teachers and staff whose purpose right now can only be to remain diligent in prayer and faithful in communicating with students. Pray for the students, that they would not fear, but know of the Love that casts out all fear that comes by way of the world. Pray for the people here, who are struggling after missing days working – it hurts on every level, from business owners to the cleaning maids.

I have added links to photos and videos below.

Slideshow at Wall Street Journal


Slideshow with captions at Washington Post


Video in Spanish with footage from ransacked grocery stores


News article from Wall Street Journal (the publication we are most following here)

oh what a night!

Yes, tonight I did go out to eat and then to the mall dressed RIDICULOUSly with some of my girlfriends to celebrate Macayla’s fleeting single status. I was a little bit ashamed, but at the same time a little bit thrilled to be back to doing the silly things I cherished in college. Here’s a picture to give you an idea of our little escapade. Notice the silver confetti in our festive plastic glasses and the absolute randomness of the whole ordeal. It reminds me of college sophomore year in Gilmore (during sorority rush) where we created our own “frarority” called Galpha Franarara. The whole point of it was to dress silly and go out in public. Completely clean fun and fantastic photo opportunities (just the way I like it!).
Here’s also some promo materials for an activity coming up for hands and feet, the high school service organization.

These are posters for the upcoming SLEEP-OUT event, where we will raise support (kind of relay-for-life style) for the kids to sleep outside on the soccer field on cardboard boxes. We will invite the Micah Project to come and be guests and we’ll have other activities as well… Please pray that this event happens and brings glory to God in the process!


the apron

When I put it on, I feel kind of like I’m shrugging into a more familiar version of myself. I imagine the same would happen if I slipped into some overalls or mismatched rubber boots. The funny thing is, an apron wasn’t ever really a familiar piece of my wardrobe growing up. But, now it symbolizes so much of what I love about my “growing up” place.

I made the apron with my gram and mom this summer. It was on my little list of ‘things to accomplish’ before coming back to Honduras. I love that my mom is so goal-oriented that she even took my little list under her wing and made sure I crossed everything off before I stepped on the southbound plane.

The vision unfolded as I made the journey home in June and it materialized (literally) in one short day at my gram’s. The fabric came from my mom’s little hamper (which used to hold a much grander collection, when we needed it for projects and dresses and mending) and I recognized the blue and mauve patterns from our previous living room colors.

The design? Well, that’s a funny thing, really. My gram just held up a newspaper to my chest and “eye-balled” it (the funny term we give for trusting our eyes instead of a measuring tape) and then we folded and cut out. Woala! (How in the world do you write that word?) Pattern created. We fumbled around with different ways to spice it up – the collar, a large button, a giant crafty pocket, and ties that came around to knot in the front.

I wore it for the first time at the ministry dinner at my church and have since donned it here to make pizza for students, to wash dishes, make waffles, and yes, even to just feel like I’m doing something productive in the kitchen.

I was even excited to get it dirty. I wanted to wipe my hands on it and use it as a dishtowel and get all kinds of spices and flour and soap on it. I wanted it to be instantly lived in and worn and handled and as familiar with me as I want to be with it.

Maybe I love it so much because I feel like I bring a part of my mom and gram right into my little kitchen with me to snap beans or make soup or cook up strange versions of my favorite meals. Maybe I love it because it makes me feel a little more grown up and established. Maybe I love it because it represents a little bit of who I want to be and I’m taking steps towards that place every time I wear it.

Or maybe it’s all of the above.

DIA de INDEPENDENCIA

What a beautiful day yesterday! I celebrated with Honduras their Independence Day and I tried to experience all that the capital city had to offer (which was much less this year because of all the political commotion).

I started out to meet a friend for coffee in Parque Central, by the Cathedral, but quickly found out this day refused to be like all the other September 15 holidays. Though everyone was surely celebrating, there were certainly two sides. In Parque Central everyone gathered in red to support the exiled President, Mel Zelaya, while others dressed in blue crowded the stadium a short 10-minute-walk away. I walked through and saw each processional (impressive in their own ways) and was thankful that a unspoken vow of peace surrounded each ceremony. Police and military were lined up outside on the streets and at main government buildings just in case things got out of hand, but they didn’t.




Unfortunately, I didn’t know I would be happening on such an event, otherwise I would have brought my camera. The pictures you see above are taken from one of the main publications, El Heraldo(www.elheraldo.hn), but you can insert my face in some of those crowds.

The most impressive (to me) was watching about 8 paratroopers dropped from helicopters somewhere above the stadium and then seeing their precision as they glided down to perfect landings in front of the huge crowd. I felt kind of proud of my little adopted country. I think I felt a lot proud yesterday, actually, that I could take part in celebrating the independence of a beautiful place with such wonderful people.