Until the Dawn Appears

Well the man of sorrows walked the shores of Galilee
And his eyes were cast with joy towards the crystal sea
Well the shadows will be gone and all these bitter tears
And my heart will hang on that until the dawn appears

Matthew Perryman Jones is one of those folk singers. He croons with a heart outside “mainstream” and his new album makes me emotional. Every time I hear, “Until the Dawn Appears,” my heart hangs on the last verse because without it the song would be only sad. Jones has a way of singing sorrow. It kind of seeps out slowly and settles in deep. The last verse (above) transfers all the sorrows of this world onto the shoulders of one man. One man who will bring the dawn that banishes the shadows.

One man who will never let me go.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

the sky yelled in bright yellow

The rain pounding my windshield drowned out all other sound.

Like an obstinate child throwing pebbles on a playground, the drops fell angry and unforgiving. The sky yelled in bright yellow and the thunder grumbled in the dark night.

And this accompaniment seems to fit the mess of things in my heart tonight.

I just left the first day of training to be a Court Appointed Special Advocate and I have not located the warm, fuzzy feelings normally associated with volunteering… and I don’t know if I ever will in this position. I arrived weary – stumbling into the little meeting room across from the hotel lobby, but my heart started running from the moment the training began.

Before we even got into any material, we went around the room to share our personal history and family background. Out of the 19 present, I was one of four who shared about a stable, loving, 2-parent childhood. Before we’d even opened the “real” material, I was looking around the room at stories of alcohol/drug abuse, divorce, custody battles, and various other tragedies.

Heavy.

With every powerpoint slide, I seemed to sink deeper into that uncomfortable hotel chair. I fidgeted and squirmed and re-positioned my tired, little legs, but I wasn’t rushing to get out of there. I just didn’t know where to fit all the information I was taking in. Really? The court decides when a home is “fit” to live in and when parents are the ideal “custodians?”
Yes, “custodians” does refer to people caring for children and yes, I was alarmed that we use the same language for trash removal.

There are just too many things… too many problems that yell bright yellow in the night sky as we drive home in our safe, metal boxes every night to our safe, cozy homes. The problems pound like pebbles thrown at my windshield and right now I’m inclined to face them and feel the sting.

Maybe, if I close my eyes, I’ll know how I can stand without being washed away.
Maybe, if I lean in, I’ll hear how I might step into the brokenness.

Maybe, if I sigh deep, I’ll believe that there is a message of Hope louder than the thunder’s rumble and stronger than the rain’s force.

let LOVE fly like cRaZy

Think on These Things

Too many times we imitate what we see in the world around us. We settle for mediocre instead of magnificent; for better instead of best.

As C.S. Lewis lamented, we are content to play in mud puddles instead of enjoying a holiday at the sea. This infographic from challies.com is helpful in understanding how God has designed us for BEST.

If you would like the graphic in high-resolution, you can download it in JPG or PDF.

Occupy Life: Ale

I’m doing this series called Occupy Life where I focus on sometimes small and sometimes giant moments that make up the days of our lives. We are all occupying physical time and space (whether you are passionate about it or not) every single day the sun rises and every night when it sets. So, what if we started thinking about our every moment as a statement – as our purpose with a proverbial picket line? Here’s number three.

I’m not sleeping.

No, really. I woke up this morning and I said, “I think little animals could hide in the bags under my eyes.”

Ale (pronounced AH-LEH, by the way) told me on our way out the door today, “I do think the no sleep is catching up with me… but I don’t care – we just have too much to talk about is the problem!”

I agree. Not a moment wasted.

Yesterday (and early into the morning), Alejandra and I occupied life with questions like, “What drives you?” and “Is it possible to love Chemistry and ministry at the same time?” and then processing conversations about the ways Christians can close doors in conversations instead of open them. We occupied life like a waterfall occupies a cliff – with words tripping over words and questions following answers.

Even with ten days full of almost non-stop, catching up conversation, we both talk like this minute is the last one we could analyze things together. When a good idea or a solution to a question or a realization or a dream happens, our eyes get real big and we purse our lips like what we just said is almost too good to bring down to the level of words. It’s like finding a treasure and then being physically unable to do anything but gesture wildly and squeal silently in excitement.

This morning, as we were getting ready, she said, “I have an idea – we can do a devotion after my class,” because on the first night (as we talked nearly in to our sleep), she told me, “This is very weird… usually I do two devotions every night – I promise! It’s just that I don’t know where to find the time because of our talks!”

The problem is legitimate, but as she said it this morning, I started to form a philosophy about how our time is woven together with the Lord. Yesterday, we hit up the life of Job, Paul’s letter to the church at Thessalonica, and our calling as children of God – all in between and around our adventures and mixed in with a lot of laughter and serious pondering. So, I was forming this idea of “doing devotions” as we occupy the steps of life – carrying around the Word like it’s written right on our hearts and hidden in a treasure chest in our minds. I was forming this idea and Ale says,

“Miss, I have an idea. I think we don’t make a time for devotions because we are the devotions… like we do a devotion all day long.”

Not only was I excited that we both arrived at the same conclusion, but my heart lept with joy that we both believe a relationship with the Lord is alive and active and occupies our souls 24/7. The words from Scripture jump into our conversations and mix in with our laughter and inform our philosophies about how the world turns.

The process is always as beautiful as the conclusion – like the thrill of preparing a delicious cupcake and then serving it to someone to enjoy. Both the preparation and the presentation are equally satisfying (as the chef).

This is an example of an occupied life where every moment is oh-so-delicious!

stuffing peppers and bellies

I grew up in the country. When October 31 came around, we would get dressed up and take a tour of the countryside, stopping at neighbors’ and relatives houses who were all ready for the “Nichols kids.” I never knew that other kids went to houses where they didn’t personally know the people inside. Sometimes, we even sang a song or sat on the sofa for a while Because we were getting candy and popcorn balls, but we were also giving … a little time for them to treasure.

Well, I didn’t go out to trick, treat, or sing at houses last night… but I did stuff something other than a candy bag – PEPPERS! I used this recipe, but made some serious changes. I didn’t measure anything, for starters. I used fresh tomatoes and brown rice. I threw in some extra spices and (probably the biggest change) I used some peppers we got from my neighbor and I couldn’t tell you exactly which kind they were.
Something funny happened in the middle of making these little guys… I realized it was 3 pm and I hadn’t eaten lunch! Good thing I had a BUNCH of rice mixture left over! I threw some on a corn tortilla, added cheddar and salsa… and 5 minutes later there was lunch!
And then the peppers came out 🙂

I decided to get my community on and head over to my friends’ place to share these peppers and finally watch Tree of Life (terrence malick’s new flim). We ended up putting the rice mixture on top of this baked goodness and then throwing it in for a second baking to melt some cheese on top and dinner happened accompanied by some delightful conversation!

Then we watched Tree of Life.
(more on the Nature vs. Grace discussion in the film to come!)

So, what did you stuff last night? A candy bag? Your belly?

Did anyone stuff their brain on the Reformation in honor of the anniversary? I spent a bit of time reading this article at the Gospel Coalition, “Abandon the Reformation, Abandon the Gospel” and thinking about how history remind us of God’s faithfulness and our responsibility.

What thoughts have you, dear friends?

Tomorrow, I will write about the Tree of Life. Oh my, is there ever much to say!

when I grow older, I will be stronger

If you don’t know that the World Cup is in South Africa this year, you are missing a major excitement-building frenzy around the globe. Let me back up, if you don’t know that there IS a soccer World Cup championship then you need to do a little culture study before reading on (here would work).
I love that I live in a country that becomes so passionate and unified over 11 guys, a rectangular field, and a round ball. I don’t think I necessarily understand it all yet, but I do love seeing the loyalty and excitement that comes with this championship because Honduras was able to come together when so much was falling apart.
When I first heard this song above (one of several for the World Cup), I thought it was catchy. Every time I listen to it I go around humming it until I consciously decide to do otherwise. The rhythm is bumpin’ and the words make you want to love soccer if you don’t already.
So, now is the not-so-popular part.
As I listen to this song, I wonder if it is secular worship music.
Sometimes, it is easy to make fun of the cheesy worship songs with every other line a reference to sin or Jesus or redemption. Maybe they are too predictable, maybe they are “too ideal,” or maybe we just straight up don’t want to worship what the song declares.
So, how are we worshipping? This song just strikes me as a cry out to declare humanity does want unity and joy and peace and love. But, will we find it in a game? Can we worship a game?
——
I’m merely asking questions at this point, but you can guess where this is going. Really, though, what other worship songs do we sing?
I’m just thinking and I am so tired, so I suppose I’ll just end it here.
Your thoughts are welcome!

Links for Tuesday

I finally got rid of my doubting spirit and have again a heart set course for joy. Praise God. I was in a funk and I’m so thankful those don’t last forever! I have to share a wee-little story about my time in funk-city. I was riding the bus down last week, after staying after for Bible study. I sat in the front and let worship songs be an escape for awhile until a student came and sat next to me. She had questions about this and that and finally she asked (could it have been because I was obviously weeping?) me, “what’s up?” I just said I was sad. I was sad about how deceptive life can be and how glittery the world looks and how so many people I love make the wrong choices. I was sad because I couldn’t stop it, but also sad because I knew I wasn’t doing enough. I was just sad.

Then (as if revelations such as these come so quickly and gently) she said, “Well, I bet that’s how God feels when He looks down at us… only magnified.”
………whoooosh. This is the perspective I needed!

Today, please let me hook you up with a few things that are inspiring and interesting and accessible through this little monster called the internet.
ENJOY!

Free music by Shaun Groves. I really support the way that this man is going about his ministry through music. Check him out – he’ll give you three songs for free here.

You probably know I just finished Forgotten God by Francis Chan. Well, I didn’t use any of his internet resources for this book (even though I really liked using them when our Bible study read through Crazy Love). But, now I find out that there are some great resources there! Also, I happened upon this “trailer” on vimeo and I think it’s worth checking out. It just might convince you that you should pick up the book too.

Forgotten God Trailer from Jacob Lewis on Vimeo.

Let’s just say you are like my dad and in the car a lot. And let’s also say you wouldn’t mind having something intelligent to listen to (other than, let’s say, radio talk and country music), then you should definitely check this out: Christian audio allows you to download one FREE book each MONTH! That’s right – it’s free! I’m all about getting things for freesies and this month I think it’s a gem, so I’m sharing it with you. It’s a book by Mark Driscoll called, “Religion Saves.”

Download – christianaudio.com

Posted using ShareThis

Post for Haiti

I just keep feeling overwhelmed at the enormity of the pain and suffering in Haiti. I know there are tragedies and disasters around the world every single day. Sometimes, we are struck with a disaster that seems so complete. This is one of those times. I just wanted to give a few links where you could go for info, give donations, and keep up-to-date on news and how to pray.

Compassion International is an organization that has proven themselves faithful to God’s call to serve the poorest of the poor throughout the world. When a crisis happens, I know Compassion is already on the ground and already working with churches in the country that they have developed relationships with. I know when I support Compassion, I am not just giving money to a haphazard medical mission, but a structured organization with a pure heart fueled by God’s design.

Paste Magazine is giving away a BUNCH of free songs to download if you donate through them or if you donate at all through any organization you can reach the free songs. This is a way artists are supporting the cause too.

Mars Hill Church is sending a team down with photographers and videographers to bring back images so people can see and respond. Read the story below.
The Mars Hill Blog | Blog Archive » Haunted by Haiti

Posted using ShareThis

Real Hope for Haiti Rescue Center has great pictures and blog to follow. Click below to see more from their blog.

The Gospel Coalition Blog has posted some really great, honest articles that give some perspective. I especially liked the article, “Live with Haiti in Your Heart.” If you feel yourself stuck in a strange place of apathy and guilt, read this article.

Living Water International is an organization whose goal is to bring water to people all over the world, and also the living water of the gospel. Their goal is to repair 500 wells damaged by the earthquake. Click here to see how you can help. My family used our Christmas tithing money to support this great cause!

“We Will Rise Up”
This song is an anthem and a challenge to the church to rise up in the midst of hurting and pain to heal the world with the power of the Lord. Click on the link below to download it.. hopefully it works, it’s a link from twitter. If not, go to NationsBeGlad twitter and they posted it there.
http://ow.ly/XfjX

tradition, tradition (with rolled Rs)


For me, the “Christmas spirit” in recent years is less fluttery and less emotion-driven. Especially these last two in Honduras with it being so warm and just very, very different. I am attaching new sentiments to this time of year. I am finding incredible joy in giving and reaching out and loving. I’m sad for the years I thought Jesus’ birth was about me, so now I feel in a frenzy to flip everything around.

I was thinking about all the memories and traditions I hold close to my heart… and thinking that I would someday want to create a home much like my parents did for me. Even if it took me years to understand the beauty in this season, I so cherish the moments I can look back and see how every Christmas pointed in the direction of heaven.

Sure, it may SEEM like more fun to have your head glued to a TV screen or stuck in endless shopping lines, but I prefer really living and cherishing these moments with the people I love.So, here are some of our family Christmas traditions I would like to share with you:

  1. Christmas caroling to neighbors and friends… this is one of my most loved. We stuff ourselves into the van with gifts for each house and then every one – from dad to brothers to sisters to mom – lift our voices for sweet choruses of joy! (sometimes they don’t sound so sweet but we have fun and we hope those listening do too!
  2. Cookie decorating contest. This is serious business. Every year the “rules” are brought into question because it’s so competitive and everyone is trying to find their edge or angle to seize the championship title. William and Christina have by far the best workmanship. Samuel and Bethany always somehow are a judge favorite. James is the best sport about the whole thing and always comes out my best friend:) Me… well, let’s just say my cookies are pronounced “abstract.”
  3. Mom (in our younger days and now all of us) baking in the kitchen while others wander in and out and end up plopping down on the linoleum floor for some of the best conversations ever.
  4. Christmas Eve dinner: potato soup for the “kids” and oyster soup for the parents, anadama bread, cheese and crackers, egg nog (recently switched over to light), sparkling grape juice:) and tapioca pudding… So simple and so good!!
  5. Candelight service at church – my favorite part is when we all file out of the auditorium into the fellowship hall singing “Silent Night” the groups in the two separate rooms inevitably find different tempos, but we all get back on track in time to fill that cozy space with joyful song.
  6. Opening gifts with my parents and siblings… one at a time because every gift has a story
  7. Watching the little red tin on the dining room table grow every year with our tithes and offerings that will go toward a worthy cause.
  8. It may not be the same every year, but you can bet it is a tradition to invent some crazy outdoor activity. One year I wanted to learn to snowboard, so I had my brother hook up a rope behind the four-wheeler and I rode behind it in the yard! Another year, my brothers and a few friends went sledding… on a picnic table… down an ice hill… without shirts on. When we were younger, it was always piling into the pick-up truck and finding a good soft sledding hill where we could use our saucer sled and plastic pieces. I do remember a few bruised bums when we tried a gravel road 🙂
  9. Christmas with Gram and Gramps (Sponsler) on Christmas day is a favorite. We get there early for a brunch and then munch all day and lay around nursing our stomach aches 🙂 The presents have become less important and the time spent together PRIME.
  10. Nichols Christmas. Whew! How do I explain it? Can you picture homemade doughnuts (which begin before 5 am with Aunt Jane’s preparation)? Can you picture the reunion of aunts, uncles, cousins (I’m sure we’re over 60 people in all now) who haven’t seen each other in awhile but still feel like we never left? Can you picture a day full of laughter and storytelling and the annual “aunt walk” and random road trips to the dollar store? No, you cannot picture it, but it is amazing!

Okay. I have to stop at 10 because I could go on forever and tomorrow is a BIG day. I am going to the garbage dump. Why? You ask.

Well, because people live there. Every day, all year round. The garbage dump is their reality and there’s a beautiful light called Amor y Fe y Esperanza (Love and Faith and Hope) that seeks to love and care for and be Jesus to these people. There is a school with 138 children and we are delivering 138 gifts with the name of each child.

God is so good. I can’t wait to see His face in these children!

Honduras, land I love

Many of you are probably already aware of the situation here in Honduras. If not, please read as much as you can from as many news sources as you can (preferably some in Spanish) so you can understand the fullest story. I don’t want to re-hash what you can read in reliable news sources (see: http://www.online.wsj.com), but I would like to share some pictures I’ve gathered from the internet and the news sources I’m reading/consolidating to get my information.

Before all of the chaos of Mel’s return, graffiti and demonstrations were the extent of tensions here. After his arrival, the graffiti/demonstrations have climbed to extremes and so have the tensions.
This is an example of what some of the Mel supporters (La Resistencia) are doing on the streets. Mel’s return, he rallied his supporters outside the Brazilian Embassy with the words, “I am here for the restoration of democracy,” which I think should seem strange to many people, because it is exactly democracy that calls him to account for illegal acts. He also said, From now on, nobody gets us out of here again, so our position is homeland, restitution, or death.” Apparently, he is prepared to die in an effort to again become president of this country. I wonder what good that would do us – a very determined and a very convicted, dead president.

The police, admittedly a rough lot, have united with the military to try to contain the violent protestors. They are using tear gas and water cannons (at least that is all that is being reported) to keep vandalism and violence at bay. Though we would hope the military has only the best interest of the common citizen in mind, it is likely they too have their own agenda and methods to end the unrest. Some of the Resistencia seem to have little care for who their actions effect. USAToday reported that some protestors stormed an ambulance and attacked three Red Cross workers, accusing them of being part of the coup. Meanwhile, the UN delivered hot dogs to Zelaya and supporters inside the Brazilian Embassy (msnbc reports) because, of course, nothing else was available in a city under curfew.
On Monday, the city of Tegucigalpa began this curfew (which basically means we are confined to our houses under the threat of being detained by military if we leave) at 4 pm. Originally, the curfew was to be imposed until the next morning at 7 am. On Tuesday the curfew was extended to 6 pm that night and then until the next morning. We were reading as many reports as possible when we could get an internet signal, as we do not have cable, and in one report I read that Honduras is losing $50 million every day its citizens are not allowed to work.

Though Emily and I live in the city (and within 7-10 minutes walking from the Brazilian Embassy), our neighborhood has been very quiet. We learn about the riots from friends who call worried about us and our location. We were somewhat skeptical of their reports until on Wednesday we were allowed out for a window of time in order to get groceries and visit the pharmacies. As we drove around the city – with the rest of the curfew-abiding citizens – we were surprised at the patience (at times) combined with fear we saw in the people.

(One of my students took this picture in a local grocery store, where her family had gone to get the necessities for an undetermined amount of time. The store ran out of sugar, eggs, bread, and all the staples and the people were starting to get in a frenzy. When the cart came with bread, the shoppers became out of control and people were crazy to secure a loaf.)
We later learned that Mel supporters had not only stormed several grocery stores in the previous nights (where curfew was imposed), but left them vandalized with broken windows and nothing on the shelves. They even went to the extremes of digging up rocks on the cobblestone street to throw at cars parked on the streets and in parking lots. They moved on to gas stations and fast food restaurants as well, even taking the little money collection bottles at the counter intended for “Kids with Cancer.” (Cadena Nacional – a local news station reported this with footage I cannot find)
Originally, we believed the government released us from the curfew because it would be extended (and the nightly news then reported) indefinitely after we secured food and medicines. Now, however, we speculate that we were encouraged to get groceries because of the irrational nature of the Resistencia. We woke up this morning, Thursday, and the curfew was not extended. Though this was a surprise, the only reason we can see is that those of us acknowledging the curfew were not the people making trouble. The mob of protestors who ignored the imposed curfew was only growing and the problems were increasing the past couple nights. The government wanted us to have access to groceries before the mob stormed more grocery stores and made more chaos in the streets (that’s our guess).

Though I’m sure I do not understand the whole ordeal, I do know that Zelaya is being encouraged by what he calls the “international community,” basically Venezuela, United States, Brazil, and Nicaragua. However, without the support of the United States, many speculate the Zelaya’s return (commended as valiant by Hugo Chavez) would not have been possible. As the Wall Street Journal reports, the persistence of Obama, Clinton, and other international leaders to bring Zelaya back into power is absurd if not embarrassing. Though an official, current Honduran Constitution is hard to come by, we do know that Zelaya’s actions warranted a response. The response his Congress chose, though it may not have been best, may have been one of few options. And, now that we see the tension and unrest resulting from Zelaya’s presence here, we might more fully understand their desire to have him exiled.

Reports today from Bloomberg.com say Zelaya is now telling supporters that he knows of a plan (by the current government) to storm the Brazilian Embassy and kill him, claiming it was a suicide. Michelletti’s office, of course, denied these claims and pointed to these extreme statemtns as Zelaya’s methods to incite the mob.

I could go on and on, but I encourage you to do your own research and then join me in prayer. Though I am definitely not in favor of Zelaya, I know there is corruption on many if not all sides in this crisis. I have friends and students who believe (though not in favor of Mel or the violent protests) the Resistance campaign is only calling for due process and adherence to the Constitution laws in full, not only when it benefits the other party. Unfortunately, this is not a crisis where we ask, “whose side are you on?” but one with complicated details that begs the question of lesser evils.

PRAY
Please pray that Christians will unite as one in prayer. Also, as we are kept from school these past three days, pray for the teachers and staff whose purpose right now can only be to remain diligent in prayer and faithful in communicating with students. Pray for the students, that they would not fear, but know of the Love that casts out all fear that comes by way of the world. Pray for the people here, who are struggling after missing days working – it hurts on every level, from business owners to the cleaning maids.

I have added links to photos and videos below.

Slideshow at Wall Street Journal


Slideshow with captions at Washington Post


Video in Spanish with footage from ransacked grocery stores


News article from Wall Street Journal (the publication we are most following here)